Can school stop this?

[CherryCherri]

My son collects my daughter from school whilst I wait outside with my other child. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7. The school were fine with this as I was waiting just outside and they are aware of this, never been a problem for 2 years. However a new headteacher started last year and suddenly it’s now a problem. Now siblings have to be 16 to collect. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside and at no point is he ever expected to bring her home alone, they were ok with this until recently and now it’s a problem again. I’ve repeated again I am just right outside, members of staff can see me and I can see my son the whole time he is in the playground but nope they have refused and said he isn’t allowed to collect her and bring her to me. Now I hear time and time again on here that schools can’t dictate this but can they? They refused to allow my daughter to go with my son the other day so seems the school do have the final say. I’m asking if I insist he collects her can they stop it and I’m guessing all they could do is refer to ss, how would ss view this situation?

Hi op,

yes the school can not let your daughter go with your son and keep her in class. Until a person over the age asked come to collect. Can you have a mom from her class walk her outside the school while collecting her own child?

Good luck 🌺

Chair of school govs here chiming in….
The HT needs to back the F off.
if they do not respect your wishes conplain first following the school complaint process and then (when you inevitably get a response that is not in your favour) escalate to Governors which should be the next level of escalation.
the school cannot dictate who picks your child up when you have authorised it and the HT is being ridiculous (unless you are withholding a back story).

the school cannot dictate who picks your child up when you have authorised it

If this was authorised by the old HT would it still stand with the new one?

Me neither xx

Yeah and I can't understand how she both can't be allowed near the school and she's the only one (as the parent) that can pick up DD.

It surely can't be both.

School defo can set its own safeguarding policies. I'm not sure why impasse would lead to a call with SS but if OP doesn't want to share all her info none of us could speculate on how SS would respond

could be an insurance related thing

You’re being quite rude when people ask a simple question! You don’t want the school to dictate to you but you are dictating what we can ask you about the situation!!! We answer questions on this forum by trying to solve issues, among other things, so it’s normal to ask why you can’t do A, B or C.

You're only option right now is either to take younger child in with you , or have the 12 year old come to the car and sit with younger child. You can then take it up with school, school board, local authority to get it back to the way you want. They have said they will not release your daughter into the care of your son, whether it's ridiculous or not, it's the policy they've adopted. Your only option is to comply with this, and then get it changed

Still going on?this was sorted out yesterday. The things people make up on here. honestly get carried away with themselves wild imaginations like im banned from the school grounds 😂 well you've given me a good laugh but if that was the case I would just move schools wouldn't I 😅 this has been resolved now with a good outcome

Are you sure you’re a chair of school governors? You don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about. A school can have policies in place that dictate a minimum age a child has to be to collect another child. They’re not exactly going to let a 6 year old pick up a 5 year old for example, a parent can’t override a safeguarding rule like that. Why you would suggest a complaint over this is beyond me. If someone isn’t happy with a school safeguarding their child, and want them to go to a school who do not care about a child’s wellbeing, change schools or homeschool 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think a few posters - me included - thought the 'outcome' was probably not ideal for your DC, being pulled out of classes early every day, and also what would happen if your child didn't WANT to be hoiked out of class early.

People have come up with possible reasons for the issue arising because you didn't want to disclose details of why you couldn't pick your child up. Perfectly reasonable, but also reasonable for people to speculate.

Both are very happy to leave early thankfully

Those suggestions weren't reasonable I think it must take an awful lot to be banned from your kids school playground like attacking a teacher or something 😅 which I've never heard happen to anyone actually and I think in that situation most people would just change schools tbh

Yep. A decade in thanks. You can check my PP and dusafeee with those too. This OP should have her wishes met. Your example is childish and ridiculous.

You're both right, IMO. The school has a safeguarding duty and therefore if they knew that, say, an 8 year old was taking a 5 year old home they could prevent it and would probably need to call social services. However, they can't have a rigid policy that says that a child can never pick up a sibling even when the parent has arranged it and is waiting for them outside the school gate.

To be honest, in your shoes I'd object to this since it means both children having to leave class early. What was wrong with your original arrangement?

Well it's clear on this thread it is neglectful to allow a 12 year-old to collect a 7 year-old and bring her to me 30 seconds walk away. The majority of the poster on here think it's extremely inappropriate so this will solve the issue.

When my daughter was 12 she'd often pick up her brother and being him to me. The staff knew I was waiting at the gate and had good reason not to be collecting him from his classroom. Once the school knew the situation it wasn't an issue. Sometimes I'd phone and they'd bring him out to me. I'm sorry you're having such difficulty, despite it being fine before. I hope you are able to sort it out with them.

As to SS, if they investigated they would see that you are visible and there is no danger to your child. That would be the overriding factor in their decision. To be honest, if you insist your 12 year old bring them to the gate, I imagine the head might ask for a meeting and then agree. If it's been agreed before, they know it's safe, therefore they know if SS are involved they will be the ones to appear unreasonable. Also ask them outright how something was safe for 2 years when your child was younger and how it isn't. Good luck.

Thank you, glad it's not just me. I'm shocked how I've been made out to be a neglectful parent on here for this. It was completely normal for siblings to collect from the near by secondary school till this new head took over and the other children were actually bringing their siblings home as he had friends that were expected to collect younger siblings and then take them home and wait till their parents were back.

From being 8 ds used to walk out of school to meet me at the car that was parked no more than 10 metres from the school gate, I dropped it him off there in a morning. I just rang up & told them it was happening, no asking for permission. I would quote disability discrimination & follow the complaints procedure to take it to the governors.

I took a call from a member of the public at the end of last term. They were concerned about a young child being alone and upset in the street at about 4pm one afternoon. The person didn't want to call the police as they thought it might frighten the child, so they called whilst keeping an eye on him. A member of staff went out and brought the child back to school. It transpired that a sibling (15) had collected him but was also with their friends and were distracted and they were separated from the sibling. The parent now puts the child into after school club. The head hasn't changed the rules (yet) but I know it's being discussed with SLT.

If they can see you then I don’t understand why they won’t release your child. A PP mentioned perhaps there has been a serious safeguarding incident and this is the reason for the rule change, but is it also the reason for the headteacher change?

The child is not their property

OP does not say she is not allowed near the class.

Why cant you be an adult and walk a few extra steps into the playground instead of expecting your son to do it and why is your son not in School instead of doing school runs he is twelve

Obviously, but the school grounds are. They have to ensure the children leave their property (the school grounds) with a responsible adult. Otherwise if something happens to the child it’s their (the schools) responsibility.