She doesn’t have enough pocket money to buy what she wants!

[Noodlenation]

DD7 wants a ridiculously priced doll for £59
She has got £33 pounds in her pocket money jar.
I give her £2 a week and she has a few extra pounds from birthdays and other events..

She wants it now. I said she has to wait until she has accumulated enough.
I have reminded her not to waste on silly things (as she has had more before) because then you end up not having enough to spend on big cool stuff.

question is how do I tackle this. Yes I’ve said no tough, you’ll just have to save but her tolerance is simmering, she’s going to explode and she is hard to handle when she’s like that but I’m firm and stand my ground.

I just want to know what to do. I said to her do some jobs for family and they can pay you what they wish to pay you. I even said save your money and me and dad will buy on your birthday which is a few months away.
she said no.

shes offered countless times to do chores and I can pay her, of course I said no because shes supposed to do them anyway.

so tell me I’m tired. Need a biscuit

My 11 year old spent 4 hours helping his grandparents in the garden one weekend as he wanted to buy a football goal but didn't have enough money and his birthday isn't until nov. We only do main presents for birthday and christmas and anything wanted outside of these times they need to get themselves using money they have (pocket money and then birthday and xmas money) - occasionally my son will say he has seen something he wants and here is the money for it - teaching budgeting is an important life skill.

Remind her of the times she wasted her money on crap and you said that if she did this she wouldn't have money when she wanted to buy a bigger thing. That time is now. She spent her money on X,Y and Z so now she doesn't have enough to buy the doll.

But look together and see if you can find it on eBay, Vinted or FB Marketplace. Also set up some alerts if there's none available right now. Some families might be using the school holidays as an excuse to clear out some unwanted toys to free up space for new ones due to autumn birthdays and at Christmas.

In fact, if she has toys that she doesn't play with that are in good condition, you could do this yourself. Have a clear out and see if she has anything she can sell that can raise money towards the new doll she wants.

You get 10% off on the Zapf creations website if you sign up to the newsletter, plus free delivery. Or the Active Annabell Leah doll is £51.99 on Amazon (with the purple babygrow). Then I'd offer to put her pocket money until she goes back to school in September towards it (about £8?) and let her have it now. It'll be worth th £12ish it costs you for her to be able to use it over the long summer holidays.

Of course she wants it now she is 7. If you just buy it for her now she will learn to only do half the work and expect others to foot the bill. Thats fine when you are a child, but the mortgages don't work like that.

Give her a very simple the choice ithat she does extra chores to get it sooner, or she waits until her birthday and you will pay the rest for her as her present. Delaying gratification is one of the best things you can teach a person when they are young.

I bet that once she has worked hard for the money and/or waited until November the dolls value will have changed and she might want something different.

I’d buy her the doll and say I found it in the sale for £30.
Then she won’t expect you to always pay the difference.

This was a bit harsh.

You can't expect a 9 year old who wants the latest piece of Lego to understand the costs of further education.

Shes been saving for weeks which is really good for her age. If it was me I’d treat her and pay the rest, you can say no next time, explain that to her.

Or find her some chores that she can do over the next few days which make up the full amount.

Could you increase her pocket money abit? £2 isn’t much when they are saving for toys. My 4 year old gets £5 each week and that can add up quite quickly if she saves it.

🙄

I agree pay the difference what's wrong with a summer holiday present? She's too young for life lessons. Better still buy the doll as a surprise.

If you want to be tough say she will get a bit less for her birthday. although I would probably say that and still buy as usual for the birthday, let her think she's not really getting extra, or take the kudos of being really nice this time.

I think I’d write the cost of the doll down on a piece of paper. Then the sum of her savings and then the amount extra that she needs ie £26. I would then tell her as a compromise she can do extra jobs to earn HALF the money ie £13. When she’s earned that sum I would give her the other £13 to make up the amount she needs. Then list some xtra jobs she can do and how much you’re prepared to pay her

This is always providing you could afford to do this.
This way she learns the value of money, the value of earning and also the reasonableness of her parent.
Good luck

I would say to her to save up to £40 and when she has that you will top it up. It means she doesn’t get it immediately but it means she will see a result of her saving sooner.

Oh come on!

How much was the Lego? The more expensive Lego sets are around £500. He was asking for you to top up the money not pay it all. So you told him he couldn’t go to uni if you topped up the money. That’s actually ridiculous.

The threat of bad behaviour would make it a definite 'no' from me.

Why don't you let her buy the doll but make sure she understands what you are loaning her the money and that she won't get any more pocket money until it is paid back. Another valuable life lesson....she will then realise if she really wanted the doll or not.
Personally I think 7 is too young for all these lessons, she will grow up soon enough and realise how difficult things are.

In that case op I agree with meeting half way. She's saved over half and has shown character in doing the jobs and asking to do more. Why not say "get ton£40 and we'll put the £20" ?

My son is only 5 but his birthday is December - we often ask for vouchers and money for him instead of toys (we get the toys, then he has a mix) so that he can have some "big" stuff through the year as his interests develop, especially summer. Otherwise he gets a few big things in Dec, then basically nothing all year which seems a bit daft.

It's hard to know what's best though, you don't want them to be spoilt/entitled etc but it doesn't sound like your DD is.

Have you tried vinted or marketplace, maybe you could find a bargain so she'd be closer to the amount anyway?

She has over half the money & she has birthday money left.
Honestly I'd add up what she has and put the rest to it. Or see if there are any old toys that can be moved on.

She's only 7 with a not very good November birthday. November is ages away.
Assuming you are in England she's got weeks of holidays to play with it.

Op splash the cash you know you want to!
Or find a reason to give her the rest of the money (good report card, good at her music, swimming whatever she does)

Not sure about that. This might set a precedent that extra pocket money will be available and that parents will invent extra chores to earn that money. This will be endless.

How do you teach your children the value of money then? Because really its not about the chores is it, its about teaching them to work for things they want and budgeting. Children can often want want want but when they have earned that money themselves through a little work (like adults have too) they think harder about what they actually want to spend it on and if it is worth it.

This is exactly how people end up with teenagers screaming at them wanting the latest iphone NOW and a moncler jacket NOW and those trainers NOW.
Its a doll. I bet she has several. The op gives her £2 a week she'll have the rest of the money in 13 weeks thats really not long to have to wait?!

Mum of a 7yo girl here who also finds it hard to save pocket money!

I think you definitely need to continue to make her wait, as you've got this far so otherwise it makes the whole moral principle pointless and she is not learning anything.

However, I would be praising her achievements in doing so already....if she has saved £33 already that's quite alot of weeks!
Empathise with her how hard waiting is (because at 7, it is!!) and how well she has done so far.

With the availability of credit and finance plans, many of us adults don't have to save up much anymore when we want something and are used to being able to have things instantly.But imagine if you really did want a new item,however you had to wait 30 weeks for it! That's a long time, and would feel difficult.

Maybe see if she has some toys she no longer wants and can sell to make some money? Or secretly increase her pocket money abit by a couple of pounds a week to help her get there abit quicker if you can afford to! ;)

At 7 years of age, i would have responded with "We will think about it and will talk about it". Kids say they want things here and now, but do they really? If they do, they will be willing to 1) wait for it (not necessarily birthday, but maybe next payday; 2) earn it (maybe not specific jobs, good behavior would suffice).

Its nothing wrong in just buying her the doll, but she may lose interest as soon as she gets it or sees another cool toy.

She's 7 and has managed to save over half the money already. I'd say that if she does a few jobs over the next couple of weeks then you'll help her buy the doll. Give her a date to go shopping for it and this will add to the excitement for her. You never know, you might actually enjoy treating your daughter too!

It is worth bearing in mind that £2 is very little today. I remember getting £2.50 a week back in the 1980s!

What can your daughter actually buy with that?

I'd top up the money and get it for her. It's the summer holidays, and she'll have so much time to enjoy it now!

I have a child whose birthday is late in the year, very close to Christmas in fact. I’ve always bought her something nice mid year as it’s a long way to go without an opportunity for a big treat/desirable item.

My son’s birthday is October so not so close to Christmas but I have always bought him his favourite football team’s new shirt in August so he doesn’t have to wait but he knows it is an early birthday present (and it is, I remind him on birthday morning), he then uses his birthday money to get the away kit.

Sometimes it’s ok to treat your kids outside of birthdays and Christmas, or give them a birthday gift in advance of a birthday and then spend a little less on their actual birthday. You’re not ruining them by doing this.

OP, I’d just take what she’s saved now, buy her the doll and take the extra off what you would have spent for her birthday (or at least give her this choice).