She doesn’t have enough pocket money to buy what she wants!

[Noodlenation]

DD7 wants a ridiculously priced doll for £59
She has got £33 pounds in her pocket money jar.
I give her £2 a week and she has a few extra pounds from birthdays and other events..

She wants it now. I said she has to wait until she has accumulated enough.
I have reminded her not to waste on silly things (as she has had more before) because then you end up not having enough to spend on big cool stuff.

question is how do I tackle this. Yes I’ve said no tough, you’ll just have to save but her tolerance is simmering, she’s going to explode and she is hard to handle when she’s like that but I’m firm and stand my ground.

I just want to know what to do. I said to her do some jobs for family and they can pay you what they wish to pay you. I even said save your money and me and dad will buy on your birthday which is a few months away.
she said no.

shes offered countless times to do chores and I can pay her, of course I said no because shes supposed to do them anyway.

so tell me I’m tired. Need a biscuit

To be fair, it's a well known fact that ice cream van ice cream is vastly superior to freezer ice cream. Like how your mate's chips always taste better than yours and how everyone has a "normal" stomach and a separate "pudding" stomach... It's just science 🤣

That isn't the same as taking them into a cafe, you sit there with your coffee while they look at you.

Nope, not the same. However, I can totally picture a situation where "we planned to go to a cafe and have a milkshake. But you saw this toy which you apparently don't have yet and you say its essential that you have it today. Would you give up your treat over a toy? Your choice."

No still not seeing how I would sit there with my coffee with them looking at me. Having said that mine had pocketmoney but no way did I expect them to pay for food and drinks if we were visiting a cafe and if I did expect that I'd give them more than £2 a week.

No still not seeing how I would sit there with my coffee with them looking at me.

That can be a fun debate. Do i have to give up my coffee because you decided you wanted a toy instead of a milkshake?
Also strangers shouldn't stare. Rude.

No you don't have to miss your coffee, just buy your child a drink.

I really don't see the milkshake vs toy debate, it makes little sense to me. And in no way would I take my 7yo into a cafe and either have them faffing around paying their own or have them go without a drink because they are desperately trying to safe to buy more Lego.

So bombing 💣 out £5 milkshakes.
School tuck shops and having access to a well stocked 'snack cupboard'
What is a reasonable amount of pocket money for a 7yo?

I'd give her the option of doing a bigger job to earn the money as she has done really well for her age. Or take on extra chores for a slight increase in pocket money. Which doll is it, maybe we can find it cheaper?

I think it depends on what you expect them to pay for and your lifestyle. If you give a child £2 a week and then take them into cafes where a milkshake costs £5 I don't think that is reasonable, two and a half weeks to save up for a drink when out shopping with your mum? I can't believe anyone thinks that is normal.

Accusing you of being a joyless mum is out of order. You havent done anything to cause your child distress, that is very clear.

My point was that it is the changing of the boundaries based on difficult behaviour solidifies that this is a good strategy to get what they want.

Realistically I and no-one else is actually there and there is some good advice (inbetween the unhelpful judgements).

Good luck.