She doesn’t have enough pocket money to buy what she wants!

[Noodlenation]

DD7 wants a ridiculously priced doll for £59
She has got £33 pounds in her pocket money jar.
I give her £2 a week and she has a few extra pounds from birthdays and other events..

She wants it now. I said she has to wait until she has accumulated enough.
I have reminded her not to waste on silly things (as she has had more before) because then you end up not having enough to spend on big cool stuff.

question is how do I tackle this. Yes I’ve said no tough, you’ll just have to save but her tolerance is simmering, she’s going to explode and she is hard to handle when she’s like that but I’m firm and stand my ground.

I just want to know what to do. I said to her do some jobs for family and they can pay you what they wish to pay you. I even said save your money and me and dad will buy on your birthday which is a few months away.
she said no.

shes offered countless times to do chores and I can pay her, of course I said no because shes supposed to do them anyway.

so tell me I’m tired. Need a biscuit

Have a biscuit.

She has to wait for her birthday and that is that. Just be clear to start with and it will be slightly less painful (and maybe buy some earplugs, and a good supply of biscuits). You can also point out there is loads of stuff you’d like but can’t afford, that’s life. She won’t really take that in, but it gives you a stock response you can repeat.

Give her jobs that are not her usual chores. My 6 yr old has to keep the bathroom sinks wiped down and tidy. My 8 yr old is our new laundry fairy and she’s absolutely smashing it. 9 yr old is responsible for getting up and walking dog before breakfast, cleaning litter trays and chicken coop and ensuring all animals are fed and watered correctly.

They get £5 per week for doing those jobs. They also have normal chores like dishwasher, sweeping floor, tidying toys and stuff.

She wants it now.

Of course she does. She's human.

Too damn bad, she needs to wait. The worst thing you could do is to cave to her emotional terrorism. Stay strong.

Can you try a Goal chart? Where she can visually see what she can earn by doing the things you/other family have offered to pay her extra to do to get her closer to her doll and how quickly she can achieve it?

You deserve the biscuits for not caving!

Blimey your kids do a lot. What do you do?

She wants it now. I expect there are things that you want now but can't afford, that might in fact never be affordable for you, given your income and saving ability, like a new Aston Martin car, or a house with ballroom, library and pool.
If you give in now, it teaches her nothing except that moaning pays off. Let her wait till her birthday.

My two daughters knew that apart from birthday/easter/Christmas there were no big toys and they had to wait! It often resulted in Christmas lists being written on the summer holidays! Stand your ground!

What is the doll?

I think it is learning something valuable to have to wait for what you want.

I'd just try the asked and answered technique.

DD haven't you already asked me this? I have already answered you - repeat views and move on. Every time.

If she's willing to work, can you not find her some additional jobs to do? Do you have a garden?

If she just wanted it for doing nothing that would be different - but this would reflect what adults do, i.e. take in extra work to earn extra for a special purchase.

As pp said - additional jobs above her normal chores. My DC don't normally have to clean a bathroom but can do so for extra pocket money when needed.

Of course they do.....

Presumably sits back and enjoys the well-deserved results of her efforts training them 😂.

Teach her a valuable life lesson and make her wait for her birthday to get it as a present.

I don't believe 7 year olds should be doing jobs for cash. They are too young to appreciate the cash value of anything. At age 7, the parents should provide everything they need, with extra things they want coming for birthdays and Christmas or other celebrations, and no doubt they get plenty from extended family.

There's a toy she wants, of course she wants it now. She doesn't need it. She'll want something else soon enough.

If she genuinely is "simmering and about to explode" then teach her to manage her emotions, teach her patience, and gratitude.

When I was a child my mum always used to tell us "I want doesn't get"!

You're doing exactly what a parent should do.

Children want things and they want them NOW!

Parents explain how life works when you want something you can't afford NOW!

You've explained and given her options and choices - which is exactly what you should do as a parent.

Yes, it's difficult not to give in if she keeps on about it, but again that's your job as a parent (and we all know it's not easy! 😬 )

Well done and stand your ground

Or….. you could treat her with the £26 she needs for the doll.

She’s only 7, plenty of time for life lessons left. She’s saved over half and it’s nice to treat the kids every now and then. Go on, make her day!

I personally would let her do the chores to make it up and get it sooner rather than later.

poor girl she’s only 7 it’s a life lesson learning her to work for money too, and if she wants things quicker she can work for it. So many people just saying no, that’s harsh I couldn’t do that to my kids. And they have turned out great, work hard and have done very well for themselves.

I must admit, I would do this too! But it could also be tied in to doing some little jobs around the house (not talking about a professional house clean as up thread!)

It's the school holidays and if you've got the money, treat her.

Everyone needs to learn you can't always have what you want straight away. When I was a kid I really wanted a pogo stick. My parents made me wait until my birthday which was 8 months away. When I finally got it I loved it and really valued it. I think if you work hard and have to wait for something you value it more than if you are given every whim.

Look for a discount code together. Or tell her to wait for one

I second giving her extra jobs to do over a couple of weeks. Things that she wouldn't usually do.

This. Poor girl is going to have save every penny for months otherwise. She's very young, reward and praise her for saving so much towards the doll and pay the rest for her.

When is her birthday?

November!