She doesn’t have enough pocket money to buy what she wants!

[Noodlenation]

DD7 wants a ridiculously priced doll for £59
She has got £33 pounds in her pocket money jar.
I give her £2 a week and she has a few extra pounds from birthdays and other events..

She wants it now. I said she has to wait until she has accumulated enough.
I have reminded her not to waste on silly things (as she has had more before) because then you end up not having enough to spend on big cool stuff.

question is how do I tackle this. Yes I’ve said no tough, you’ll just have to save but her tolerance is simmering, she’s going to explode and she is hard to handle when she’s like that but I’m firm and stand my ground.

I just want to know what to do. I said to her do some jobs for family and they can pay you what they wish to pay you. I even said save your money and me and dad will buy on your birthday which is a few months away.
she said no.

shes offered countless times to do chores and I can pay her, of course I said no because shes supposed to do them anyway.

so tell me I’m tired. Need a biscuit

And that’s fine, so I’m confused why you posted on here in the first place. Did you not have conviction in your decision to make your dd save until she had all the money? If not why, as you seem pretty determined to stick to it.

Oh I dunno.. why does anyone ever post on here 😂

Well we are all different, I feel happy that this little girl will probably have her doll in a week.

Oh dear, you have given in to the punitive parent lobby. How sad. She's 7, one day you will look back and do you want to remember a sad little girl or one overjoyed as she has her doll. My little girl is all grown up with little ones of her own and I know which I prefer.

Oh come on! You don't have to let them have everything they want.

It's baby annabelle. I bought my niece that when she was 4 and by 7 I'd say she was getting to the age where she's too old.

How about encouraging her to choose something else. Lottie dolls are delightful and she can have more than one with the money she has and they might be more age appropriate.

She either has to wait and save the money, or ask if there is anyway (if you allow) for her to earn some extra pennies so she can buy it. It’s a valuable lesson to learn - mum has to work for pennies and can’t just demand money. The rules are the same for everyone.

I certainly don't think it's joyless or anything else.
But I think realistically a other 13 weeks to save for a 7 yo is a lifetime - can't be that much further to her birthday.
At which point you'd be as well to say hold on another few weeks and it can be a birthday gift.
But that also means her year of saving becomes pointless.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to deal with it.

Paying half means she is encouraged
Leaving her to keep saving could be discouraging
Upping pocket money is more permanent.

oh dear... people are overthinking this. It's only a doll.

I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this has already been covered.
Is the doll available on Vinted or eBay at a price she can afford?
Does it have to be brand new?

I have repeatedly said this. There are many on FB marketplace.

I clearly need to up my game on household chores for the kids

I would introduce interest on her savings. 5% on £35 would be £1.75 a month it's gives a boost to the savings towards bigger toys.
I would introduce her to second hand toys both sorting through their own for resale but also buying.
For my nieces 11th birthday I got her 13 books raiding the charity shops for the price of 3 new books and she was over the moon. I was in mat leave so had the time!

Delayed gratification should be rewarded. Saving should be rewarded. Get a book about teaching your child about money and you will both feel more in control.

This sounds like an eminently reasonable and sensible way forward, @Noodlenation. And I think you sound like a good and caring parent, and not joyless whatsoever!

It costs £5 for a milkshake in a cafe, where I live.

They can put the other £18 a month into savings.. so that they can afford things like toys, if they have a parent who insists that they save up to buy their own toys at seven years old.

Who would take their 7 yo into a cafe and ask them to pay for their own milkshake?
Or sit there having coffee while the 7yo saves their money for whatever the next toy is.

If a kid was spending £18-24 a month on toys or magazines you'd end up with a house full of stuff, zero appreciation for anything, and zero ideas for Birthday/ Christmas.

I think Op has it about right £2-3 a week is plenty for a 7yo. Although I'd find a reason to let her get the doll.

I wouldn’t have thought anyone would. But after reading some of these posts I’m not so sure (imagining a child with a glass of tap water who needs to learn about “sacrifice” 😂)

She has done really well saving that much at 7 years old! Sounds like a really nice doll. She's going to really appreciate the help and the memory would be special by the sounds of it. If you can afford to I would absolutely give her the extra for it. It doesn't sound like she'd expect it every time.

I also find it sad that people are saying, give it time and she might change her mind...yes she most likely will but that's not what childhood is about Kids live in the here and now and it's absolutely age appropriate and lovely that a 7 year old girl wants a nice doll to play with.

Who would take their 7 yo into a cafe and ask them to pay for their own milkshake?
Or sit there having coffee while the 7yo saves their money for whatever the next toy is.

Very reasonable to ask a kid to make a choice between a treat or a toy. Mine was always pestering for ice cream from a van in a park. Identical ice cream waiting in the freezer at home just wouldn't cut it.

I hope no one would do that and I'd think the parents were abusive if they sat there with their "treats" while a 7 year old looks on with nothing. Would anyone actually do that?

That isn't the same as taking them into a cafe, you sit there with your coffee while they look at you.