No one coming to DS's party. Should I cancel?

[Doritosforever]

Hi All,
I've booked a party for my 6 year old DS and no one seems to want / be able to come. I had 1 response by the RSVP deadline, so have chased all via WhatsApp or at the school gates. All have either seen WhatsApp and ignored it or said they can't make it.
I sent the invite out 2.5 weeks before with a RSVP of 7 days before the party. We invited all but 3 in the class (various reasons). The teacher said my DS is liked by all and plays with lots of different children.
I had to pay in advance and was a minimum of 20 kids, so £150 paid. We were doing our own food, the party is Saturday so not got it yet.
Currently 1 child from school going and 1 from out of school. The out of school parents didn't bother to reply either!
How depressing will it be having 3 kids in a room that fits 40.
Would you cancel? Should I cancel? DS is very emotional and will be heart broken either way.

My dd got invited to a party last weekend, mum was expecting 24 children who's parents had all said yes, only 3 showed up was awful as she'd booked the entire soft play out including food. The poor girls mum was in tears, was really awful especially as they had said yes to coming, the little girl had a great time though with her 3 friends, but her mum did leave a WhatsApp message after thanking the ones who did show. I'd cancel the hall and do something else, it's sad though x

For so few to be attending a whole class party it sounds like you’re clashing with something, you need to find out what that is and move your date. It could be another kids party, or a big camping trip or something.

Totally agree...small 'parties' can be lovely! -We did horse riding one year, a great success - with just one friend! {I think that was age 5 or 6}.

We never had large parties, as they can be chaotic and not much fun.

I'd cancel and take everyone to the cinema or Clip n Climb or something that works with a smaller number.

Regardless of whether people think it’s short notice or not, it’s rude not to respond. I always respond to an invitation even if it’s just to let them know we can’t make it.
You sent out a WhatsApp message and some of them didn’t bother to respond. I have been in a similar situation where I almost cancelled my DD’s party but a few decided to leave responding to the invite right up to the very last minute, including the morning of her party! Those that didn’t bother responding at all got the exact same treatment in return when they sent invites out to my DD expecting her to come to their kid’s birthdays!

It’s meant to be desperate - desperately trying to work out to try to prevent her son getting his heart broken.. And it is meant to be a bit pressuring too - to try to get parents to be polite and respond… Fine, people are busy, fine it might be too short notice for people - but there is still no excuse for not responding. Really there isn’t, it’s just rude. But your singing happy birthday at school idea is a nice one.

OP might it be better to cut your losses and take the small group that are coming to something more intimate but fun, like a theme park or something?

There’s lots on at this time of year. Plus we have about 2 sunny Saturday’s a year so the adults won’t prioritise a kids birthday over say a trip to the beach etc.

All of dds friendship group at this age were in an intense theatre school so I to literally get their schedule and arrange the party around their rehearsals/ performances or I had zero guests - learnt that the hard way!

Any chance there is a clash with another party that your so. Hasn't been invited to?

Not replying is rude.

Just wondering, the party doesn't clash with any Euro games does it?

We did a whole class party last year and had a lot of parents turn up who hadn’t RSVPd despite being chased.

This year my 4yo daughter wants an entertainer, she can have 14 children attend but is adamant she’s only inviting 2. I hope they’re both free 😬

Ask the venue to move the Party date to Sept (you may save some of your £150) send invites 6 weeks in advance.
Take Ds (& 2 extras) for a fun day out.

Dd’s10th birthday coincided with a favourite children’s author visiting the next town.
Dd picked a friend and they attended the author’s talk and then got to buy a book each and meet the author.
Was a great hit.

Does he have cousins of a similar age, or do any of your friends have children of a similar age who would enjoy a party?

My son once went to a party during a maelstrom of flu, chicken pox and COVID and only five children could go out of twenty, and one of the five was the younger siblings of a class friend. The children still reminisce about having full control of the bouncy castle and repeatedly getting the pass the parcel.

I am wondering if another class party got booked in first and has taken out most of your guests?

You sent out invites in the busiest months, just 3 weeks ago for a weekend party. Crazy!!

I don't have a free weekend now until Sept. I have already sent out a Save the date for my DD party in Sept as people will book up.

Next year be more organised.

Thank you for your response, some are very helpful.
To clear things up as seems to be concerning many. The 1 ive mentioned never gets invited by anyone sadly because he hits everyone, school just tell us they're dealing with it. 2 has a medical condition so can't attend, mum asked us to not invite because she gets upset about not being able to go. 3 is one of my sons friends who is on holiday this week in America. So absolutely no connection with people not going!
It's at a soft play but not exclusive hire.
My son is the youngest in the class, all other birthdays have happened this year so no clash.
I sent out the invites last year 4 weeks before and all the parents moaned I'd done it far too early 🙄. We seem to get invites about 3 weeks in advance from school.

EVERY time I have had a party this happens. It's so so annoying. On the day it has always turned out fine and everyone, or most people, turned up. It has made me never want to do them again. So stressful

That's disgusting behaviour! How awful. Well done her rising above it and not calling them all out on the WhatsApp chat.

This. Its odd that no one is responding. Have you made a picture invitation online thing (there are loads that do it for free) that way it will stand out from a crowded what's app group..tell everyone you have had to reschedule and follow up with parents in sept..hopefully more can come then.

I’d go ahead. Call on cousins or neighbours to boost numbers just in case and have fun with less people

This is heartbreaking, I feel like I want to come with my DD! Is it an awkward day/time? I can't think why so few would accept. I really hope your son has a lovely day whatever happens.

I'd cancel, you're wasting your money otherwise. I'd send out a message to all the invitees though so that people don't turn up.

It's in a soft play and not exclusive hire so there will be other kids there from general population, so I'd go ahead.

The only bit that will be a bit quieter is the eating and birthday cake part.

I would guess you may get a couple of people just show up on the day without RSVPing and a handful of kids are very capable of making use of whatever space they have to be loud and have fun.

Maybe get one of those bit garden game compendium things with snakes and ladders and bean bag throwing for about £10 from the supermarket, set that up so if they do finish eating and want something to do they can play with that, add a few blown up balloons and they'll have a balloon battle which will fill the space with noise and activity.

Have any of the three got siblings you can include? İs there a WhatsApp group? Maybe send out a message saying that as there's loads of spare places, siblings will be included, up to a max of 20 children. İt might wake up a few quiet ones. I think a lot of people with multiple find it hard to juggle these things with having other children to entertain at the same time, especially the cost of everything atm, so that might bring in a few more, if you opened the spare places to siblings.

I would say 3 is enough kids to have fun at soft play. You probably find people turn up who havent replied as well

It's things like this that stop me doing parties for my very little children - I dread when they are old enough to ask for one :(

I would lie to your DS and say there's an issue with the place you've booked (fire / staff illness or something).

Pad out the number of children going with family members / friend's children if possible. Call them and explain the situation.

Take your DS / guests on the best ever party / daytrip day and pull out all the stops. Amazing party bags to take home. Make it a thing of legends, that the others will regret not attending and your boy will remember forever x