Am I being too needy, husband overnight trip.

[Kiwiburgh]

Basically as above, sorry for the rant. Husband really wants to go away fishing with his friends leaving Saturday morning and returning early Sunday afternoon. This will be the first time I'm alone with my toddler (2 years) and newborn who will be 3 weeks. I'm absolutely terrified at the idea and anxious about how I'll cope as I'm already feeling frustrated with my toddler and impact newborn is having. I have no family on the country. Husband has asked his mum if she'd be happy to stay with me overnight and she is happy too but this makes me more anxious as I feel I can't show my true emotions In front of her and they will end up building up.

Basically I don't want him to go this soon but I feel awful asking this of him as he's really excited about it. He's a great husband and dosen't go away on overnight trips with friends often.

Should I just suck it up or are my feelings valid?

I wouldn't personally put a fixed timeframe on it for reconsidering, but just see how things go.

IF your baby is pretty settled, sleeps enough for you to manage and your toddler sleeps through, then seize the opportunity then - it may get worse again, so dont wait on arbitrary time frames.

If your baby is unsettled, and your toddler still wakes/cosleeps etc then its realistically off the table until the situation changes (except for unavoidable trips), even if its a year or two.

I think this is an unreasonable request, would you ever get to go away and leave him at this point? I very much doubt it. I’m surprised at all the comments saying to suck it up, I would feel the same as you and think it’s perfectly valid for him not to go on a trip that sounds very rearrange-able (aka it isn’t a wedding or similar on a fixed date). You will of course be fine if he does go but I don’t think it’s acceptable at all to go when you’re in such early stages of postpartum.

If it were me I’d feel the same as you. My husband is pretty reasonable and I think would understand why I wouldn’t want him to go so soon after having a new baby. Can they move the trip to a few months down the line or can he sit this one out and go to the next one? Surely he’ll understand. Looking after a newborn is hard work on your own, let alone a toddler too x

Because women since the dawn of time have coped by childrearing alone? Why would you and she be any different. It’s not easy but of course you’ll cope! We’re built to do it!

I’m not giving her husband an easy pass. He’s a selfish swine for doing it. She may cope but it doesn’t excuse him for leaving her.

Yes you are being needy. I lived with three under four years of age for six moths whilst my husband worked away. For goodness sake it's only 36 hours.

Are you serious? That's like saying yes you're being needy asking for three meals a day because I cope with just as I'm very poor. Race to the bottom hey!

Isn’t it ok though to sometimes need your partner, isn’t that the whole point of a marriage or a partnership that there are occasions where you need the other. Here the OP has said she does he agrees and they have made good compromise that still allows him the freedom to do things he wants as well.
if your partner is forcing you to cope and feel unable on occasion to need them then what is the point

Really glad to see he's postponed the trip. It would have been very selfish to leave you overnight with a toddler and a newborn just to go fishing. 3 weeks postpartum is a v difficult time.
Yes you probably COULD have managed to cope.. but why on earth should you? When the father could help.. but for some reason wandered off on a fishing trip.
Some people on this thread have shocked me saying to just suck it up... is the bar really so low for men?!

I think it is ... They're still often seen as babysitting their own children. Mum is the one who has to be there. I did it from choice but eventually found a partner worth having. Always there for me and would never put me in this situation to start with. He would never suggest leaving me to go fishing!
But I kissed a lot of frogs.... Maybe ladies need to think about the father their prospective will be before committing. I wish I had!!