Am I being too needy, husband overnight trip.

[Kiwiburgh]

Basically as above, sorry for the rant. Husband really wants to go away fishing with his friends leaving Saturday morning and returning early Sunday afternoon. This will be the first time I'm alone with my toddler (2 years) and newborn who will be 3 weeks. I'm absolutely terrified at the idea and anxious about how I'll cope as I'm already feeling frustrated with my toddler and impact newborn is having. I have no family on the country. Husband has asked his mum if she'd be happy to stay with me overnight and she is happy too but this makes me more anxious as I feel I can't show my true emotions In front of her and they will end up building up.

Basically I don't want him to go this soon but I feel awful asking this of him as he's really excited about it. He's a great husband and dosen't go away on overnight trips with friends often.

Should I just suck it up or are my feelings valid?

Yes i have 2 i raised them as single parent from the day my youngest was born.

This is a good idea for DH to take on bedtimes, but could be problematic if the 2 year old adjusts to this new routine of it being solely DH, and causes additional problems at bedtime when OP has to take over once DH is on his night away

I came on from your title to say suck it up, but a 3 week old and an optional trip? Not a chance in hell.

Yes and i cared for them over night on my own because i am the mother.

No way would I be "sucking it up" if my DH wanted to leave me alone with a three week old baby and a toddler.

Let him go, on condition he takes along the toddler. One child per parent - what could be fairer?

Three weeks is so so tiny! Presumably he's back at work and you're on maternity leave too, which means that you lose your only two days where you're not them sole parent during the day.

I think it all depends on how you feel. Whether or not I would be comfortable with my husband going away in that situation is irrelevant as you and I are different people. The point is that you are uncomfortable, and therefore for your family and household it isn't appropriate/kind for him to go.

Ah see I personally would be okay with this. Everyone deserves a break so as long as you also get one then I think it's fine. But that's obviously not how you feel and your feelings are valid. Even if every single other person said they'd be fine with it, how you feel is what matters in this situation.

You need a really frank talk with him

@Mrsjayy also wouldn't care about that he has a 6 night MTB holiday every year and I don't have a girls one because I don't want one but if I did I could / would.

I don’t agree that the toddler should be palmed off on someone else. His little life will have been turned upside down as it is-why should he be sent away when the baby gets to stay at home with mum?
and yes, suck it up for one night and make sure you get time away at a future date with him in charge of both.

He's an arsehole

In a fair world yes.

In reality toddler would die of boredom and scare away the fish.🤣

3 weeks is very early. I wouldn't be happy especially with a toddler in the house as well.

10 weeks + for one night I wouldn't see as much of a problem you are all more settled into thing

You'll be fine. You'll have to do it at some point. I did it when 3 Yr old a 3week old for a couple of nights when DH was on Eggheads! Just start planning your trip.

Personally I wouldn't suck it up at all. The fourth trimester is all about someone looking after you and your toddler so you can care for your new baby. Just because you're not a single mother doesn't mean you should suck it up because they all do/did!

Weird replies here! You don't have to do it at any point.

I can't believe he's even suggested it.

I kind of agree, although the common theme these days seems to be a lot more precious / vulnerable / anxious etc.

For what it's worth my husband was admitted to hospital when DC2 was 8 days old and I was home alone with a 2yr old plus baby post C section. It was a bit shit but I just got on with it. Everyone got fed & cuddled & little else mattered

Huge difference between needs must because someone's working or in hospital and off on a fishing trip.

Its like some have babies and dont want to do the job.
Happy to make them not happy looking after them some of the things on MN that mums can't do because they have a baby or toddler makes me wonder why have kids in the first place.

You would cope fine, we all (mostly) manage. Ask him if you can have the following whole weekend alone to go on a spa weekend or stay with family. If he (he will) says no, then kick off at the unfairness.

Not with a three week old baby definitely not.

Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon would be fine. If he was going for a week, it would be a different story.

Nah I don’t think this is ok, 3 weeks is very little still, you are still grappling with managing both. It’s quite selfish. Unless ofcourse he’s offered you a break of the same length the following week? I’m guessing he hasn’t.

3 weeks is far to early for him to be leaving you to go fishing, absolutely fuck that.