Nursery constantly sending home child- going to lose my job

[Ayeayee]

My child is 2 and to be honest I feel like the nursery centre does not like my child. As a result, it seems like they are constantly looking for reasons to send my child home, they are sent home every other week with illness, sometimes several times in that week. They will claim that they have a fever and are inconsolable but upon collection no fever and perfectly fine but they withhold a nap in these instances so child is tired so more cranky. Child is fine at home, no symptoms at home and then within a few hours of drop off, is suddenly symptomatic and needs collection and on collection is fine.

(to be clear no meds are administered at home when I say child is fine, so it’s not a case of oh well they’ve had calpol so they are ok at home but has worn off later)

dh and I have used all our emergency leave now and it’s not even March. Child has been sent home 5 times, twice this week! Same story. We can’t survive on one income.

there is no other Centre around, no childminder, nothing, no family or Friends who can take them either. At this rate I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost some privileges now at work due to this and have had a few raised eyebrows at the sheer volume of calls, they call me 6+ times to collect asap. It’s not always possible to leave there and then unless an actual emergency.

(reasons I don’t think they like my child, an insistence that they are delayed talking but they actually talk very well, so It’s leading me to think they aren’t engaged with, one accusation that my child (as a 1 year old) was actively victimising other children and wasn’t a very nice child, I’ve seen them shouted at, and I’ve had some serious instances of them being left in a soiled nappy for an excessive period of time, and consistent nappy rash that would clear up at home and when in the centre flare back up (to the point of bleeding) due to lack of changes.)

Do you have a partner to share the calls and pick ups?
If not, you need to say, when.at home, no intervention was needed, and it was probably separation anxiety

How could you leave your child somewhere like that, it sounds absolutely appalling? It sounds abusive. You need to find somewhere else or quit your job. You can't leave your child somewhere like that no matter how difficult money is.

Please don't send your child back there, it sounds utterly appalling. There must be other childcare options, ask around, post on local Facebook group etc.

I’d be looking at moving them to another nursery. Even if it was much further to travel. It doesn’t sound great (putting it mildly) and I would be concerned they are neglecting her from what you’ve said.

In the meantime I’d request a meeting with the nursery to discuss the issues and whether they can suggest anything to improve attendance as it’s causing major problems with your job. However, I really think I’d move her if at all possible.

You really need to find somewhere else or one of you will need to quit. You can’t leave your child at a place that doesn’t want him. It’s going to be the same at school. The school will ring and ask you to collect child if they are ill. And there are many holidays too. It doesn’t get easier until much older. How old depending on whether you can WFH. Maybe 8 or 9 if you can WFH but secondary if you can’t.

I know some parents work opposite hours to cover things but not everyone has that luxury.

Just saying it’s not a something that goes away for another 6 years or so for you.

Tbh the nappy issue alone would be enough of a red flag that it’s the top of the iceberg for a bad nursery. Is there nothing else near to either workplace childcare wise?

I had a childminder when the kids were young. She’s amazing and sadly so hard to find one in many areas.

I’d be finding another nursery and putting in a complaint

This.

childcare is sadly so hit and miss. Some are great some are awful or offer sub standard care - neglect in the early years can cause huge problems for children’s developing minds

There is literally no place else, this is the problem. I’ve tried and tried, the only other is cost prohibitive and has a 6 month wait.

my eldest went to the centre no problems but with my youngest it is night and day.

to objective parties does it seem like they are being sent home because they aren’t liked

The nursery sounds appalling, you need to report them to Ofsted and find alternative arrangements even if that means a further journey to a nursery

Are there other nurseries in neighbouring towns? I'd rather do a 40 minute commute to a different nursery than leave my child there.

I would not be sending my child to that nursery if my child's bum was coming back like that for a starter

I was absolutely raging as it is clear neglect, it has improved now that the site manager has to supervise every nappy change.

im in a terrible predicament, I stop working and we can’t afford to live, but sending him there breaks my heart and frankly could cost my job. There are literally no other centres, I’ve looked at 45 mins, even the opposite direction to work. Nothing, nothing closer to work, no child minders, nada.

Tbh it sounds like theyre short staffed and don't have the legal child staff ratios without getting rid of kids.

I'd be having a meeting and asking them that question

Either way they need reporting. Something is obviously wrong.

You need to find somewhere else for him, even if you have a slightly further drive. There's no way there's only one nursery/childminder in the whole area.

My sons been with both a childminer first then a nursery for almost 2 years and never once have I been called to collect him. If he's clearly unwell, I will obviously take the day off to look after him but that's only been a small handful of times in this time. But they've never called me. This is definitely not normal.

I've just seen your update, I'm sorry but I find it incredibly hard to believe there isn't a single other day care provider within 45 mins each way. Childcare is very much needed and the kids must be going somewhere. Which area are you in?

They may be sending him home because they're short staffed and don't have enough people at work that day for the number of kids. A few nurseries round where I live have been doing that, basically sending kids home on rotation to keep numbers down.

I’m rural so there really isn’t much around, no where else has space, huge waiting lists. I’m on the shortest one, feels like a dentist tbh and we’re not f’ing moving up the list

How close is he to 3? Could you possibly look at school nurseries or would that not work for you work wise?

I think you need to find alternate care, especially if you don't think that like your child

Ok so the only other option is "Cost prohibitive" what does that mean? Because if it means it costs more than one of your wages then that makes sense.

Could you move?

Or could one of you apply for a different job for night shifts?

Or! In the nursery? Could one of you apply for a job at the nursery?

No my work isn’t the kind I could do in night shifts sadly, and likewise nursery worker, im not a qualified and it would be a huge reduction in wage.

cost prohibitive means it is around £100 a day so pretty much eradicates my wages