Nursery constantly sending home child- going to lose my job

[Ayeayee]

My child is 2 and to be honest I feel like the nursery centre does not like my child. As a result, it seems like they are constantly looking for reasons to send my child home, they are sent home every other week with illness, sometimes several times in that week. They will claim that they have a fever and are inconsolable but upon collection no fever and perfectly fine but they withhold a nap in these instances so child is tired so more cranky. Child is fine at home, no symptoms at home and then within a few hours of drop off, is suddenly symptomatic and needs collection and on collection is fine.

(to be clear no meds are administered at home when I say child is fine, so it’s not a case of oh well they’ve had calpol so they are ok at home but has worn off later)

dh and I have used all our emergency leave now and it’s not even March. Child has been sent home 5 times, twice this week! Same story. We can’t survive on one income.

there is no other Centre around, no childminder, nothing, no family or Friends who can take them either. At this rate I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost some privileges now at work due to this and have had a few raised eyebrows at the sheer volume of calls, they call me 6+ times to collect asap. It’s not always possible to leave there and then unless an actual emergency.

(reasons I don’t think they like my child, an insistence that they are delayed talking but they actually talk very well, so It’s leading me to think they aren’t engaged with, one accusation that my child (as a 1 year old) was actively victimising other children and wasn’t a very nice child, I’ve seen them shouted at, and I’ve had some serious instances of them being left in a soiled nappy for an excessive period of time, and consistent nappy rash that would clear up at home and when in the centre flare back up (to the point of bleeding) due to lack of changes.)

Why are you sending your child to a place that neglects them?
I'd pull them out, and ask for a bloody career break or suchlike, and go and work in a pub 7 evenings a week before I sent my child off to be neglected.

They only take from 4 around here, the sept before they are 4. I’ve honestly thought about everything I’m stressing and just debating quitting the job I just started too

£100 a day! That's insanse. I pay a lot and know my nursery is expensive for the area and it's £70 a day 8-6 all meals inclusive.

You should be getting some of the new funding and also be using tax free childrcare btw

I hear you OP. Depending on where you live, childcare can be very difficult to find. I almost had to turn down a job as I couldn’t get childcare. I only got a space in the end as a nursery I used to work in broke their own rules to help me out and offer my son a place.

If you are on the six month waiting list, can you tell your work this? It will probably take them about that long to replace you if they get rid of you, so hopefully will persuade them to keep you. What work do you do? Can you make up hours at the weekend?

This really does not sound like a suitable setting for you or your child. Given
that there seems to be no alternative childcare, could yourself and your husband consider a job change, working alternate shift patterns? I have seen nursery staff be quick to call parents of more challenging children, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they also did so for children they took a dislike to. Hopefully that is not the case here.

How well paid is your current job? It would take months to do it so not an immediate solution, but maybe you could try training/registering as a child minder? Sounds like your area would have demand for it.

This is what a relative of mine did. There were huge waiting lists everywhere so she qualified during her mat leave. Now she’s looking after 2 more toddlers during the day and once her daughter starts school she’ll return to her regular job. Financially she is actually better off than working and paying for nursery, but of course looking after a bunch of toddlers is not easy and not for everyone.

ive intervened in every area I felt the care was subpar and it has improved although I shouldn’t have to In the first place.

i can’t afford to stop working or work for min wage in the evening, it’s terrible, but I’m probably going to lose my job at this rate anyway

It’s a brilliant idea but unfortunately I have mobility issues due to an accident so wouldn’t be possible for me but my late mother actually did the same as a child

Is it worth paying to keep the job though? It’s not that uncommon for nursery costs to eat all, or more than all, of one salary. ,but it’s worth it to keep the job. Remember nursery costs are a family cost. You should not just be counting them against the mother’s salary.

I wouldn’t say it’s worth paying giving the subpar care. I think it’s border on neglect.

I think this sounds like the most likely explanation. Don't have enough for ratios if anyone's off sick so they can't actually have all the kids that are being paid for there at once. I really cant see them sending him home because they don't like him, but some nurseries operate with two few staff and will do this as a matter of course.

As someone else said, I'd be wondering if they are over subscribed / understaffed and sending kids home to keep the numbers down during the day..
Do you know anyone else with children in there, that you could ask if they're having the same issues with frequently being sent home "sick".

Well your nursery sound a bit crap tbh. But I would just start taking longer and longer to pick him up if he’s happy when you get there and has no temp.

But then my child never came home with nappy rash so bad he bled so it’s easy for me to say that.

Has your little one just started nursery? Is this the three months of them getting every illness under the sun.

I understand it would probably not work for you but mobility issues are not necessarily a barrier. There’s a lady in my area (I don’t live in the UK at the moment so maybe you have stricter rules) with a mobility related disability and she’s a childminder. She only takes babies under 1 so they are not yet walking and easier for her to manage. It’s less stable income for her but she still gets plenty of business from people who are in a long nursery queue but need to return to work.

Nope gone for a while and my eldest was a lot more sickly

I really feel for you, I had a simiar situation when my daughter was in the baby room but, I never had a call to collect since she started in the 2-3 year old room (touch wood). I think some staff target a child who may be a bit harder to manage and find any reason to send them home.

Like you, I get told she had a temp and "wasnt her usual self" however, I get home and her temp was fine, she was just tired. If I was you I would keep looking into alternative arrangments as it sounds impossible.

Nobody here can say whether they “don’t like” your child, or whether they genuinely are presenting as very unwell at nursery and perk up when they are home or know you are coming.

I know you’re saying your older child did well at this place but honestly every child is different and may need a different setting or environment. Personally I wouldn’t be sending my child back somewhere like that, I’d be calling every nursery, every childminder, every single day of the week until a space came up for me and would request parental leave at work in the interim.

Can you move to town with good childcare provision so you can keep your job. Can you communicate at work that you are working on a plan to deal with this so they give you some grace if they are understanding people?

👏

Why on earth are you sending your child there? I’d rather starve

I think nurseries are really struggling these days recruiting and retaining staff compared with just a few years ago. I think it's a staffing issue. My dsis's nursery pulled this s#@£.

Is there somewhere near your workplace

Sorry, but in your case I think even giving up your job and going on benefits until school would be a better option than sending your child back there.

Can one of you stop work and get an evening or weekend job?

I know it won't pay anywhere near as much but you won't have childcare costs to worry about.

My thoughts too as they are only childcare provider in your area they have likely taken on too many DC for ratio of carers so every day someone has to be sent home. I'd ask nursery manager about ratios if all DC are in and none are ill. See what they say.