Nursery constantly sending home child- going to lose my job

[Ayeayee]

My child is 2 and to be honest I feel like the nursery centre does not like my child. As a result, it seems like they are constantly looking for reasons to send my child home, they are sent home every other week with illness, sometimes several times in that week. They will claim that they have a fever and are inconsolable but upon collection no fever and perfectly fine but they withhold a nap in these instances so child is tired so more cranky. Child is fine at home, no symptoms at home and then within a few hours of drop off, is suddenly symptomatic and needs collection and on collection is fine.

(to be clear no meds are administered at home when I say child is fine, so it’s not a case of oh well they’ve had calpol so they are ok at home but has worn off later)

dh and I have used all our emergency leave now and it’s not even March. Child has been sent home 5 times, twice this week! Same story. We can’t survive on one income.

there is no other Centre around, no childminder, nothing, no family or Friends who can take them either. At this rate I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost some privileges now at work due to this and have had a few raised eyebrows at the sheer volume of calls, they call me 6+ times to collect asap. It’s not always possible to leave there and then unless an actual emergency.

(reasons I don’t think they like my child, an insistence that they are delayed talking but they actually talk very well, so It’s leading me to think they aren’t engaged with, one accusation that my child (as a 1 year old) was actively victimising other children and wasn’t a very nice child, I’ve seen them shouted at, and I’ve had some serious instances of them being left in a soiled nappy for an excessive period of time, and consistent nappy rash that would clear up at home and when in the centre flare back up (to the point of bleeding) due to lack of changes.)

Our house is on mortgage so we’d have a chain but we are looking to move

Also if they ring and say your DC has a temperature arrive with a thermometer you point at head and it takes temperature. You can do this in front of staff and disprove the notion the DC has a temperature. You'll only need to do it once. They'll see you're on to them.

This is a good idea.

My niece is doing child minding while she completes her 3rd year at university. Could you advertise asking for childcare in places like this?

If there's no fever when you get there, then tell the nursery to keep him, let him nap and call you once he wakes up.

You can try this, but 1) if you believe your child is being neglected there then I honestly don’t know why you would and also 2) the nursery can insist on sending child home anyway

True. It won't be long till you can get some "funded hours" and there's the tax free childcare too

I do find it odd that you're coming up with every excuse under the sun to keep sending your child to an abusive setting...

You either need to find a remote WFH job, quit your job, or find someone else to take care of him.

due to the excessive calling nursery have been doing I’ve lost my wfh privileges, it is excessive, close to 10 calls and messages during a day.

so yes, I’m looking for another role despite just having started.

i an desperately trying to find another setting. Desperately.

i wish I could just quit. I wish, but I’ll probably be sacked soon anyway, so it will likely come to this

Is there a reason for the nursery calling you rather than your husband/partner? I know it doesn't solve the childcare issue, but at least it would alleviate the situation you're in with your work if they were to call him instead. Also, can he wfh or go part time?

You say "we can't afford to live on one wage" which implies there is a second parent. You need to share the load. Even if they are mardy about it or earn more or have whatever excuse. They need to support the family by enabling you to stay employed. Tell nursery to swap first contact name. Then turn your phone off in working hours.
That obviously only addresses one element of your post. Personally I'd swap to a childminder, get one near to partners work if there isn't one near your house. My kids went to a childminder for 9.5 years and she never closed, she had excellent contingency in place, including when her child got chickenpox or she needed dental work.

I don't see how wfh solves anything, a child in nappies needs caring for. It isn't like having a teen or tween who can fend for themselves.

She literally said in her first post they have both used all their emergency leave

My husbands office has patchy reception so if they can’t reach him they just keep calling until they reach someone. We have no one else who can pick them up.

point is though that they don’t really need picking up In the first place it is any excuse to get them out the door.

You simply cannot be sure of that though. You have no idea how your child presents when you are not there, lots of children seem to perk up at the point they know they are going home

I’m a childminder and if a parent turned up at my door with a thermometer to “prove me wrong” it would be immediate notice served. You need to trust me to look after your child - if you don’t think I have their best interest at heart, it’s not a good fit. Be warned nursery might feel the same way.
if you truly believe they are neglecting your child you need to contact Ofsted and report them, they need to inspect and make their own call - if there is neglect it won’t just be your child affected.

Well, ‘good’ apart from the fact they’re shouting at a one year old and leaving his bottom to get so sore it bleeds…..

Really?
Even with the fact many nurseries have gone bust, some people in the middle of nowhere etc…?

A couple of suggestions/questions...

Are you on a nursery parent WhatsApp group, or friendly with other parents? Can you ask if this is happening to them too? (I agree with a pp, that they may be doing this to help ratios)

Have you tried turning up, seeing that child does not have a temperature, and is not in a uncontrollable state, and saying "I see child is now totally fine, I'll be back at 6 as planned"
If they push back...
"Can you just pop it to me in an email or write me a note now before I leave, to tell me that you are refusing to care for my child who is calm, without temperature, not showing signs of pain, and has not had d&v? May as well copy in the owner of nursery and ofsted whilst you're at it"
Take your phone and record discreetly all
Conversations at forced pick up

time and time again…?

several times a month?

If they threaten social services, let them do it without a care in the world as you know you're not in the wrong.

It’s the act of leaving our place of work and driving to the centre which is causing the problem, we simply can’t anymore and it’s only March

Perhaps they need staff, could you work there?

Of course you can afford to live - if you're not paying for nursery in the first place you only losing the extra you earn. If you can't live on that plus what your husband earns you're living way beyond your means. Get an evening job. Work opposite hours to your husband. So many options as a couple.

I actually couldn't afford to go back to normal work as my nursery fees were £400 a month more than what I was earning!

Cut your cloth accordingly. Get rid of new cars, Get rid of luxuries. You get one shot to bring small children up. I can't believe anyone would willingly put their child in a nursery this bad. Put your child first.

I understand that, but if you tell your employer you are fighting back hard, they may give you a few weeks of grace and the nursery may realise you mean business and pack it in