Nursery constantly sending home child- going to lose my job

[Ayeayee]

My child is 2 and to be honest I feel like the nursery centre does not like my child. As a result, it seems like they are constantly looking for reasons to send my child home, they are sent home every other week with illness, sometimes several times in that week. They will claim that they have a fever and are inconsolable but upon collection no fever and perfectly fine but they withhold a nap in these instances so child is tired so more cranky. Child is fine at home, no symptoms at home and then within a few hours of drop off, is suddenly symptomatic and needs collection and on collection is fine.

(to be clear no meds are administered at home when I say child is fine, so it’s not a case of oh well they’ve had calpol so they are ok at home but has worn off later)

dh and I have used all our emergency leave now and it’s not even March. Child has been sent home 5 times, twice this week! Same story. We can’t survive on one income.

there is no other Centre around, no childminder, nothing, no family or Friends who can take them either. At this rate I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost some privileges now at work due to this and have had a few raised eyebrows at the sheer volume of calls, they call me 6+ times to collect asap. It’s not always possible to leave there and then unless an actual emergency.

(reasons I don’t think they like my child, an insistence that they are delayed talking but they actually talk very well, so It’s leading me to think they aren’t engaged with, one accusation that my child (as a 1 year old) was actively victimising other children and wasn’t a very nice child, I’ve seen them shouted at, and I’ve had some serious instances of them being left in a soiled nappy for an excessive period of time, and consistent nappy rash that would clear up at home and when in the centre flare back up (to the point of bleeding) due to lack of changes.)

Ok I'm confused. I said my general paediatrician was capable of doing the assessment and you said general and community paediatrician are not the same. So I quoted that community paediatrician can also do the assessment. Which professionals that work with children aren't able to do assessment?

A general paediatrician.

Well the paediatrician at my hospital do and have done with my daughter. My hospital almost exclusively has general paediatrician. Less than half have specialisms. There's a respiratory, epilepsy/neuro, cardiology and gastro specialist. The rest are general paediatrician.
They might not be able to do the diagnosis but they certainly can determine if a child is meeting their milestones and need additional referrals. As I put in my first post, our paediatrician, a general one, had an in depth conversation about my daughter's language and development when she went backwards. He discussed tests to run in the meantime and discussed accessing support through the HV and a put a plan in place to trigger referrals for specialist support if there was continued deterioration or she didn't start to improve with further support. All paediatrician can recognise normal development. They might not be able to fully separate all the intricacies of different diagnoses but to say they can't tell when a child needs more help, support and referrals is insulting to a highly skilled profession. A lot of the paediatrician in our department although they are classed as general will have expertise in a wide range of paediatric care.

I already stated they will refer onwards if appropriate. But if a child is being seen for allergies they aren’t taking a full developmental history. Because that isn’t the remit of the role.

We have been under a paediatrician for allergies and reflux for 3 years and at every appointment (3-6monthly intervals) they assess if development is still on track, she has had pretty much every assessment from the hv too. Twice my daughters allergies/reflux have caused developmental delays. Once at 4 months when we entered paediatric care and again at 18-24 months when she stopped speaking. Maybe we have a thorough paediatrician or department as my friends who are under care of paeds in this department for respiratory and allergies but with different paediatricians have reported similar experiences.

I know they don't have the expertise but they categories those that are meeting milestones and those that have concerns. The OP reports a 2 year old speaking in multi word sentences. At this time my daughter had 10 words and communicated by pointing. You don't need SALT speciality to recognise this is meeting speech milestones

Why are you getting 10 calls a day? What are they saying?

You are right, you don’t need SALT specialist to recognise that’s meeting milestones. But you would need specialist involvement to recognise that children’s communication skills can vary based on environment and adult, and there are many conditions that can result in a child communicating well in one environment and not at all in others.

If during an apt with a general paed you raised concerns of course they will address / refer but they won’t if you don’t and they won’t be assessing things not related to the appointment. It’s that simple.

Come and get him, where are you? How long will you be, have you left yet, etc etc

Yes exactly but that poster is ardent on my child having some sort of delay or behavioural problem that the nursery are covertly trying to report by sending him home. Common sense isn’t in her narrative

No this nursery just don’t sound well intentioned to your dc or you at all. If they had concerns, harassing you to pick up isn’t how those are best dealt with

I’ll get let go if it continues this way for sure, sometimes I can get 10 phone calls a day Around collection, it’s not fair use of the phone etc so it’s a number of policies this situation breaks

Precisely. So if you know you're going to be 'let go', then you'll have to either give up your job or move nurseries, right? And you've already said that there are no nurseries except the more expensive one. So you can either give up your job or put your child in the more expensive nursery. Surely this is what it comes down to?

Why are you taking so long to get to him if they are calling you 10 times?!

sometimes In a meeting I can’t answer the phone immediately, hence the calls. I work far away from the centre. I also have certain tasks I must complete before I am able to leave to do with security, and a sign out process that takes time.

The operative word is if, if it continues.

Why are you taking so long to get to him if they are calling you 10 times?!

I was wondering the same thing!

But even more importantly, OP, the nursery sounds horrendous. Why would you choose to keep your child there if there is any other option (which obviously there is)?

TBH, it's not widely known and ACAS advisers can be hit and miss - they're not all experts.

I work in HR and often have to tell managers to back down over absences for dependent's leave - employees have been awarded compensation for merely receiving a warning.

Like I said - make sure your managers are aware that you have a statutory right to take this time off but try not to be confrontational with them - let them know you are as frustrated as they are with it, that you're doing everything you can to address it with the nursery, and keep a record so you have evidence of each occasion.

If they do take any formal action against you then stand up for yourself - show them the caselaw and make it clear that you'll fight them on this, don't resign!

Any update?

If you've ever had anxiety it can feel like a full blown illness about to strike. I've felt utterly dreadful, called in sick to school then within minutes felt better. That was my first clue that I had it tbh. It can make you feel hot, Faint, belly aches, nausea, the works
I feel that your child may be presenting as unwell because they're unhappy there, which isn't unreasonable given what you've said.

You don't feel comfortable leaving your child there, the relationship with them is already a bust. I've moved my two year old recently for similar reasons so I understand

See if other parents are having the same issues. Is it possible that they are understaffed?
Go onto local fb and ask if there is any other young mum who would be willing to nanny for you.

A few years ago I was at a deployment from agency and I was having a break in the staff room. Its mainly female occupation with mainly young workers. There was a message on the Notice board to the effect : Employees with family obligations are expected to have A ' Nominated third person' to support with childcare obligations such as Collecting child from school or Nursery should the said child become unwell.

Block their number so they contact the father instead. When I did that DS’ nursery suddenly stopped calling as often.