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If you have more than one child, how do you manage to…

203 replies

brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 13:47

if you have more than one child - both young eg toddler and newborn, do you manage to make time for the following and if so, how?

-keep up an exercise regime (not just walking, 3x 30 min home workouts for example)

-hobbies/self care like baths, reading etc

Right now I have a 4 month baby and am managing the above when my husband looks after baby and vice versa. Just wondering how it works with 2 little ones!

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Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 15/12/2023 13:53

Not specifically doing the above but I have 3.5 year old and 3 week old. We just alternate as before. At the moment newborn sleeps a lot.

When she's awake I incorporate her into activities where possible. So yesterday reading to my 3 year old she was listening as well. I'm popping to shops for an hour later and husband will watch both. Seems to be working ok so far. I found going from none to 1 much harder than 1 to 2. Maybe depend on age gap though as we have 3.5 years may be harder with smaller gap x

MotherOfCrocodiles · 15/12/2023 14:02

Workout when they are in bed. Obviously only once your baby is settled in an early bed time, not if they are still up all evening

Hobbies- not at the moment.

muggart · 15/12/2023 14:58

I don't even know how people manage to cook dinner, take daily showers and get life admin done with 2 kids tbh, let alone do the luxuries you've mentioned. I only have one toddler and most of the time I have to hold her or actively engage with her while doing those things otherwise shes screaming her head off. How does it work with 2?

And then there are people with 3 or 4 kids... they must be superhuman imo. I'm

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riotlady · 15/12/2023 15:17

Well I will be honest and say I don’t exercise much but that’s more my own laziness 😂baths, me time, etc either happens once the kids are down or I just leave them with my husband. I’ll read sometimes when the baby is on me, I like to read to him too (my husband has been reading him some warhammer books 😂)

HoHoHolyCrap · 15/12/2023 15:46

At a moment in time I had 4 under 6 and honestly you just don't
You will get your season again for long leisurely baths with a good book and going to the gym, getting your nails done etc, when you have multiple babies it just isn’t the season for it
But the time goes so fast

Pantheon · 15/12/2023 16:02

I have 2 young dc and right now I don't tbh! I probably could, but I am too tired by the time 8pm comes around to engage in a hobby and don't fancy losing sleep by going to the gym before the kids wake up. Meeting the needs of 2 young dc is much more intense than 1. It is just a stage though.

Pantheon · 15/12/2023 16:03

I could probably do a home workout when the toddler naps, but I usually am behind on housework or try to prep dinner.

strawfaxe · 15/12/2023 16:09

I have a 5yo and a 1yo and I don't do any of those. In theory I could do it when they sleep - I have time to myself in the evenings but I choose to use that time to deal with chores and life admin and studying. I could probably do more chores while the toddler is awake and then I could do exercise and have baths during the evenings, but I made the choice to focus on play with her during her waking hours. With 2 dc DH and I have opted to both be present for our dc and one of us usually deals with one dc at a time. So neither of us has child-free time, but we find it's far easier to look after one each, than having one of us looking after both, while the other goes out. Other couples do have one parent looking after both and then the other can go back to hobbies/socialising. I've had to do bath and bed before for 2 dc and it's hard on my own due to staggered bedtimes/demanding bed routines - I'd much rather forgo the nights out and just have an easier routine.

When I had just one dc I did workout videos while she napped - I can't really do that now as I'm catching up with housework and time available is just less with 2. I just figure it's all on the back burner until the toddler starts preschool then I get my leisure time back.

TedandRebecca4eva · 15/12/2023 16:13

When they were about 4 and 6 at school I started back exercising

Bootoagoose123 · 15/12/2023 16:13

Either get up before them, once they've gone to bed, at weekends when DH has them for a while, or when the oldest (3) is at nursery and the youngest naps. I work on the principle of the first 30 mins of every nap being me-time, to workout or eat or whatever, and use the rest for tidying/cleaning etc. That way if she wakes earlier than expected I haven't lost my time and I can carry on cleaning around her.

BuffaloCauliflower · 15/12/2023 16:16

In short - I do not. Exercise is walking in the park when out with baby and toddler. Baths… every few weeks I’ll have a nice one in the evening but baby is nearly 1 now. Until the last few months it just wasn’t possible. If I’m not too tired I’ll read in bed at night. Only hobby is scrolling on social media.

BingoMarieHeeler · 15/12/2023 16:18

DH WFH international hours (2 days a week in the office uk hours though), so he’s around for witching hour a lot.

TV

Stairgates/non-open-plan house/playpen (although lolz at a playpen working with older siblings)

Batch cooking at weekends

Present husband so I can go out maybe 2-3 eves a week these days

Exercise in naptime

3 kids age 1, 6 and 8 so 2 are in school which is BRILLIANT. Love the age gap.

Admittedly when the younger 2 were tiny my life revolved around them but still went to the gym regularly as it had a Creche, tag teamed with DH to do stuff, lots of lovely family time.

kernowpicklepie · 15/12/2023 16:21

I have an almost 2.5 year old and an almost 12 month old and I am way too tired for hobbies and I was never a big exerciser before.
At the moment I'm lucky if I get to go to the bathroom alone.
Tbh, DC1 is a lot easier but I'm having to watch them constantly because DC1 is going through a hitting of DC2 phase.
DC1 got easier when she turned 1 and was waking so I'm hoping when DC2 is walking then it'll be a lot easier and I'll get some proper "me" time back

Borth · 15/12/2023 16:24

Mine are all grown now but I used to do a mix of things. Gym before work, gym after work. DP has kids, I do activities and vice versa. That was with 4 kids.

NotMyFirstChoiceofName · 15/12/2023 16:25

You don’t, if you are female . Unless you are rich enough to have a nanny or lucky enough to have a female relative (mother, sister ) to help you

The only parents of young children who get to have hobbies, do sport and have a social life are fathers. For some mysterious reason I’ve never been able to work out.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/12/2023 16:26

With a 4 month old very little as I was bfeeding. Actually though it’s harder to fit it in with a full time job.
Basically you have a good routine that your partner knows and can pick up and you carve out time- I’m going gym at this time on these days.

climbershell · 15/12/2023 16:30

I have a 7 month and literally just turned 2 year old. Toddler is at nursery 2 days a week. Those 2 days go so quick haha, as they're so lovely and chill in comparison to the rest of the week. We go to a baby group both days, and I get lots of chill sofa time, where i could easily work out, with baby next to me or she'll now do 30 min naps in her cot

I go rock climbing once a fortnight at the moment, which is a hobby, exercise and chat with friends combined. On the weekend whilst partner with kids. Sometimes I'll go for a swim as well. We have a baby seat on our bikes, so tho baby is a bit young, toddler joins and from spring we'll have a child on each bike and that's another way we'll exercise as well as some nice family time (then take it in turns for faster adrenaline rides)

gwenneh · 15/12/2023 16:31

We have 3 DC, and DH is home with them when I'm out riding, etc. Similarly he is home with them when I want to do things like take a bath or read. I am home with them when he wants time to himself, or goes out for his hobbies.

He became a parent at the exact same time I did, so he just gets on with it as I would do.

MilkChocolateCookie · 15/12/2023 16:33

In the same way that you do it now while your DH looks after your DC, with two DC your DH will look after them both while you do these things (and vice versa).

Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 16:40

Thanks everyone - seems like it’s feasible for some but definitely more of a juggling act. Easier when oldest is at nursery. Before I had my baby I was envisaging her being in a Moses basket while I could get on with stuff like a quick workout. However I haven’t managed to move from the contact naps during the day and sometimes the naps are short. When she’s sleeping for the night, I sometimes prefer to use that time to sleep myself rather than workout (and sometimes don’t have the energy anyway!).

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KThnxBye · 15/12/2023 16:42

When my 3 were smaller, a combination of ways

Exercise I’d often do with them. Day hikes, especially when I only had one or two, often at weekends. Home workouts, they’d do it with me for a bit then get bored and play. We did all the Joe Wickes over the lockdowns and I do yoga videos a lot, they’ve always been around whilst I do those. Crèche at the gym but I could only afford that occasionally. When I was a single parent it was hard to go running, cycling etc but now there are two parents, I leave them with DP a and go running a few times a week. And we can cycle as a family. I used a swimming pool where I could swim whilst their lessons were on, which was good until they were all three in different classes. We still do a lot of day hikes and the occasional wild swim as a family too.

Reading before sleep, whenever a baby is feeding, and often out loud. Babies and young toddlers don’t really care what book you are reading out loud….it doesn’t have to be a kid book. Audiobooks on headphones whilst they play or we walk places.

I had a lot of study time as I did a degree between my second and third babies, I’d study at night mostly between 9pm and 2am, I was lucky enough that they mostly slept during that period although would wake regularly in the second half of the night. I could read or study in the bath too!

GreatGateauxsby · 15/12/2023 16:42

I don't.
I also wash a lot less than I used to 🤷‍♀️

InDaiTri · 15/12/2023 16:56

I have 3 little ones aged 4, 20 months and 3 months. My DH regularly stays away overnight for work and also has hobbies/social life. Needless to say my life is centered around the children and I hardly ever get 5 minutes to myself. If you'd like time to yourself you need one of the following:

  1. a keen and helpful relative/friend who will watch your children
  2. a good DH who is happy to look after the children while you do something for yourself
  3. professional childcare
  4. do your activities during nap time/in the evenings if you have any energy left 5) don't have children
Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 17:07

Thanks @InDaiTri i think it will be option 2 or 4 most likely.

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Superscientist · 15/12/2023 17:36

I only have one but the best way I find to get exercise in is online classes.

I did a dance yoga class on mat leave and was gutted when it stopped. It was 7.30 pm mid week so that day my partner did bed time on his own.

Now I do a pilates class on a Thursday evening. It starts at 6 and it normally have to leave to pick my daughter up at quarter to so it fits with my normal working pattern. My partner does the pick up and then makes dinner. I quickly eat it after the class and we do bedtime.

Without a class I don't do anything. With a class I do the class and can usually find the time for a run one lunchtime or at the weekend. It gives me that "no you are doing it TODAY" which carries on through the week whereas without it it is too easy to say later and tomorrow.

There are two ways to approach it you either fit it in at the end/start of your day. This doesn't work for me but definitely does for others. Or you fit at the transition do something after or before something you would do anyway. You are stopping for a sandwich you may as well stop for a class too. Between 5 and 7 you need food and child(ren) need moving from location a to b then start bedtime. That can be done a lot of the time by either parent. Avoid trying to do something on a pressure day in my work Monday and Tuesday a pressure days. Lots of meetings and lab time. Thursdays and Fridays are my to-do list days - much easier for fitting things in and having a reliable end time