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Original poster

Baby changing room etiquette

208 replies

Orange53 · 28/07/2023 05:27

Two questions:

  1. If you’re changing one child in a public changing room and the room contains two changing stations and a sink (nothing else) and the door is lockable, do you lock it? (assuming there’s no one else waiting while you’re there and you’re using it for a standard nappy change taking about 3-5 mins)
  2. If you’re waiting for the room because another mum has locked it, do you say anything to her about why she locked it when she comes out?
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Wrongsideofpennines · 28/07/2023 05:34
  1. Would depend on where I am and my/child's mood. Yes if I don't trust weirdos not to come in or I know my child is currently a nightmare at changes and I don't want people to witness me trying to wrangle them into a clean nappy without both of us suffering injury.
  1. No. Never.
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 28/07/2023 05:34

I wouldn’t lock the door but I wouldn’t ask why someone else did either. Maybe they wanted privacy to feed or needed to change their top, etc. Loads of potential reasons that are none of my business and as long as I wasn’t waiting for ages, I wouldn’t be that bothered.

WandaWonder · 28/07/2023 05:40

I have never locked a room as it is not the same as a cubicle toilet

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Babybabybabyy · 28/07/2023 05:43

I would always lock it if it was in public toilets anyway

londonba · 28/07/2023 05:44

Can’t wait to hear the backstory, did someone shout at you op?

OrangeySnicket · 28/07/2023 06:09

No and no

StylishM · 28/07/2023 06:15

Always lock it and never been questioned by anyone else. I wouldn't feed in a locked one knowing others may need it. Always find a cafe or bench for the feeds (also less smelly!)

buckingmad · 28/07/2023 06:17

I wouldn’t feed in one but would potentially lock it to change yes depending on the set up. I’d never question someone on why they’d locked it.

Brunilde · 28/07/2023 06:17

No I wouldn't lock it if it had 2 stations as its obviously designed for more than one at a time.

Bumblebee112 · 28/07/2023 06:20

Would always lock it, have never been questioned as to why and would never question anyone else that locked it either.

What’s the back story @Orange53?

elfx · 28/07/2023 06:21

Yes I would lock it and no, I wouldn't speak to her.

Original poster
Orange53 · 28/07/2023 07:49

No, she didn’t shout, but she did crossly ask why we locked the door.

I’m sure she didn’t expect it to cause as much upset as it did, but our daughter is three months old and it was one of our first day trips out. My wife is suffering from post natal anxiety and feeling like she’s mummying wrong and we so nearly didn’t go out at all because she’s so anxious, and after the other mum said that, my wife started crying and wanting to go home. We ended up staying but it was a horrible start to our day out and something that dampened the mood.

I’m surprised the other woman was rude enough to comment and confused about why there would be a lock if it’s not meant to be used.

OP posts:
lavenderdilly · 28/07/2023 08:33

No, unless I have a loose toddler with me.

And no.

DappledThings · 28/07/2023 08:44

Only locked it if it was one with an adult toilet in as well that I needed to use.

Would consider it selfish to hog the whole room in case another baby needed changing but wouldn't say anything to anyone who did.

Leftphalange100 · 28/07/2023 08:45

Like others I wouldn't lock it as its obviously designed for more than one baby.

However, I wouldn't say anything to someone who did.

ReeseWitherfork · 28/07/2023 08:46

I wouldn’t lock it and I would be annoyed you had. Hard to know if I’d have thought you were wrong to without knowing the exact set up. But either way, I wouldn’t have said anything. If it was a massive inconvenience you’d have known because I’d have had screaming children.

Scirocco · 28/07/2023 08:48

I'd lock the door to a single occupancy baby change but not to a set-up for multiple babies unless I had a loose child with me who might be able to open the door.

But I'd never be rude if someone else wanted to lock the door - I'd assume they either needed or wanted to do so for their own reasons which are nothing to do with me. Especially if the baby emerging from the changing area is obviously very young!

I'm sorry that happened to you and your wife.

Try not to let it upset you both, some people are just rude, and some people get cranky with no sleep and other stresses. The woman's reaction to a relatively minor inconvenience for her is more about what's going on for her than anything you did or didn't do.

Legoninjago1 · 28/07/2023 08:50

It's a while ago now, but depending on the size and set up of the room, i might have locked it yes.
Certainly wouldn't comment on someone else doing so.
Hope your wife is ok. It definitely gets easier. Smile

marcopront · 28/07/2023 08:54

@Orange53

I’m surprised the other woman was rude enough to comment and confused about why there would be a lock if it’s not meant to be used.

She might argue why are there two changing tables if they don't expect two people to be there at the same time

PuttingDownRoots · 28/07/2023 08:56

No wouldn't lock a multi occupancy baby change area. Its not the place for feeding etc.

Wouldn't say anything... but have been in the position of waiting 10-15 minutes in a growing queue and there was a lot of frustration.

Pjmasksonrepeat · 28/07/2023 09:45

It depends where we are. If out for a day trip at some kids place I'd leave it unlocked. In a town centre I'd lock it quick in case someone followed us in.

Not excusing but I'd assume the other woman is probably knackered and it came out more cranky then it should have. Keep reminding your partner shes doing an amazing job.

Gratedpotato · 28/07/2023 10:02

No I wouldn't lock it, and No I wouldn't say anything to someone who did.

Thats because personally my current baby is a very easy change and I wouldn't care if other people came in to the room, its a public change room not a cubicle. But I wouldn't assume that is the same for everybody, there are a ton of situations where a parent might need or want to lock the door.

And really waiting for one person to unlock and come out is no different to if there were two people already in there using the tables- I would have to wait anyway its fine.

It's a shame that this put a downer on your day out, but the other woman wasn't being cruel just frustrated she might also have had a baby with poop leaking ito its ears and socks and was annoyed in that moment that she couldn't fix it instantly. It's just one of those things, hope your wife feels better soon

SleepingStandingUp · 28/07/2023 10:06

Lock because I have lots of kids to contain,except sometimes don't in case I die and no one can get in. Depends which intrusive thoughts are strongest on the day

Would also open to a knock tho and share.

Would never qn someone. They were rude to do so

JenniferBarkley · 28/07/2023 10:16

I wouldn't lock it if there was two tables. As you're realising, it's stressful when you're out and your baby does a poonami and you have to find somewhere suitable to change them - I wouldn't want to add a delay.

If your wife is feeling anxious about getting out and about, would you just do the nappy changes yourself? It doesn't take two of you, and a few minutes officially off duty might be helpful for her.

JenniferBarkley · 28/07/2023 10:20

Meant to say though - I wouldn't say anything to anyone who did, I'd assume they needed to for whatever reason. Although when you came out with two adults and a newborn that might have been why she was annoyed!