Baby changing room etiquette

[Orange53]

Two questions:

1. If you’re changing one child in a public changing room and the room contains two changing stations and a sink (nothing else) and the door is lockable, do you lock it? (assuming there’s no one else waiting while you’re there and you’re using it for a standard nappy change taking about 3-5 mins)
2. If you’re waiting for the room because another mum has locked it, do you say anything to her about why she locked it when she comes out?

no there is a lock on the door for a reason...to use it. I don't want my child's private parts to be viewed by all and sundry.

No I wouldn't lock it

But no I would never question another person who had locked it

I lock the door. I don't want some weirdo following me in and having the ability to lock me and my baby in a room. I know I sound paranoid but I was attacked and robbed in a public toilet.

Tell your wife to stick headphones in when exiting the bathroom next time so she doesn't have to hear shitty comments.

1. I'd lock it. Just because babies are babies it doesn't mean they're not entitled to privacy when having their nappy changed. I'm quite strict on this. Also, to keep out potential weirdos.

1. No, for the reasons given above.

Yes, for lots of reasons. Not wanting my toddler to run off whilst I change the baby, to change my top because the baby has spat up on me, sometimes there’s an adult toilet in there and I want to use it. I’m sure I sometimes just lock it on autopilot.

I’m sorry your wife was upset by the other mum. It can be so daunting going out with a new baby, especially when your hormones are all over the place.

Whilst I wouldn’t lock it, I would assume a person who had did for a reason and not be annoyed at waiting. There are always people out there who have to say everything and are always in the right in their view but never considering another’s possible opinion. It is very much a them problem and not your wife’s who did nothing wrong as there was a lock there for a reason. Whatever reason your wife wanted it locked is absolutely fine and would have gone without judgement from most people, even if they wouldn’t have locked it themselves.

im so sorry your wife felt this way, I remember those early months and first outings when you’re so anxious about not doing things right and feeling judged. It does get easier I promise. If locking the door gives her 5 minutes of privacy then I think she can do that, and I’m sorry OP your experience was ruined.
also just to add, so many baby change facilities do not have any toilet facilities for parents! On a few occasions I’ve had to perch over a sink with baby strapped the the table and then alcohol wipe the hell out of it afterwards. Why are parent facilities so lacking?

I would be surprised if it had been locked - my mindset is we are all in it together, so if it's possible for someone else to change their baby, why not ? Except, you've said you would never want to share the room. In which case, that's why you locked it, and you have to accept that some people might be irritated by that. I don't think it is usual to comment but In the same way that your wife is anxious, perhaps the other mum was. Or just having a shit day. Or maybe she was a dick.
Try not to take it to heart either way.

Why would a "weirdo" come into a baby changing room?

It wouldn't occur to me to lock it ; or complain if it was, but I wouldn't use it. Horrible stinky places. Change your bub in the pram/ back of the car. Anywhere but a baby changing room. Cesspits! ( and yes I have 4 kids so I know what I'm saying) . I'm always stunned anyone uses those rooms.

I would definitely lock it! Wouldn’t want some random walking in on us thinking it was a toilet!

I do agree with this !

I don't think I ever saw one with two tables actually... it was either one in the sink area of the ladies (and gents sometimes) in a disabled toilet, or 3+ in a dedicated room.

No I wouldn't have locked it in those circumstances
No id not say anything

of course you can lock it if that’s what you feel comfortable doing, your new parents everything is scary. I understand why your wife got upset, I was feeling the same as her at the start, and any altercation like that would have upset me. Just know that the anxiety does ease. I have a 2.5 year old now and I look back and think, I was actually doing a great job, all I did was doubt myself and it’s normal. I still have days where I feel I’m no good, but I remind myself I’m here for him every day loving him and supporting him. All she needs is love which she clearly has because she clearly cares a lot. Look after each other, and I hope things get better soon, it’s just a phase.

Do weirdos only go in certain places? (You don't know who is and who isn't).

No, I wouldn’t lock the door if it was clearly for multiple use (two or more changing stations). Surely that’s obvious? It’s like locking the external door to a leisure centre shower room with multiple showers.

I wouldn’t say anything to someone who did but I would give them a look or sigh loudly.

Tell your partner not to worry. It takes time to learn the etiquette. Has she ever, for example, started a new job and done everything right from the start, never made a mistake, never had to ask anything? Every little thing with a first baby is new: how to get on a bus with a pram, where to park it, etc etc.

It would be far easier if they just made two lockable baby changing stations instead of two stations with just the one lock.

This kind of thing actually annoys me. I was at a garden centre cafe lately. The door to the ladies toilet had a lock but neither of the two cubicles did. So one toilet was essentially made redundant as no one wants to be burst in on with their pants around their ankles no matter how weird/normal the other person is.

There was the option to lock the door therefore it is fine to lock the door. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your baby privacy.

I always lock changing room doors. Iv never been told off. Iv never seen a room with 2 stations but id find it very weird to be in a small room as a stranger with a lock on the door. Totally inappropriate for anyone else to be in, even someone else changing imo. Maybe its for twins?

Also find it extremely strange you say it would have took longer if only one of you changed the baby. Iv never gone into baby change with dh. One stands outside. Changing is a one person job. The only hands on thing the 2nd person could do would be to hand over a wipe or nappy but the nappy bag would be beside you. I dont understand that.

Yes I'd lock it

No I wouldn't question someone else for locking it what a strange woman.

Some people can't see past themselves and their own needs.

Sorry your wife's having a tough time my baby's a little older now but I remember feeling similar in those early months, her hormones will be causing her to feel all sorts of ways she's not used to and sleep deprivation makes everything feel worse give her a big hug tell her how well she's doing and to forget about that woman.

You're in the trenches with a newborn at the moment things will start to get a bit easier in the next few months

I would definitely lock the door. And no I wouldn’t ask anyone why they did.

I always lock changing room doors regardless of how old the baby is, you wouldn't get changed yourself with a stranger in the room so why is that different for a baby?
Unfortunately you and your wife will come across a lot of rude people in your parenthood journey you will grow a thicker skin and learn to trust your own judgement and decisions, your wife is doing just fine I hope she doesn't let this put her off going out and about with baby

My kids are in their late teens now, but depending on the space, I would have locked the door if it was possible too. It doesn’t take long to change a bum and if you want privacy for that and it’s an option, then it’s not unreasonable to do what you have to do and get going. Unless you were faffing around in there, OW was rude and impatient.
However, if it was a room set up for feeding as well, then I think that locking the door isn’t okay. Although I can think of a few times I wished I’d been able to lock people out, including the nosy bat (no kids with her) who came in and bawled me out for bottle-feeding my newborn while I was having chemotherapy. (Boy, did she choose the wrong person that day!)

I 100% would lock the door.