Baby changing room etiquette

[Orange53]

Two questions:

1. If you’re changing one child in a public changing room and the room contains two changing stations and a sink (nothing else) and the door is lockable, do you lock it? (assuming there’s no one else waiting while you’re there and you’re using it for a standard nappy change taking about 3-5 mins)
2. If you’re waiting for the room because another mum has locked it, do you say anything to her about why she locked it when she comes out?

If there's 2 baby change stations why would one person go in and lock it, making others wait unnecessarily. That's rude.

It's because it's made to be used for 2 babies being changed at one time.

It’s made for two babies op, lock is there for if you have toddlers likely bolt.

It also doesn’t take 2 people to change a 3 month old

It takes as many people as you want.

When I've had an urgent need to change my baby, I've done it elsewhere, pulled out the changing mat out of the changing bag and just got on with it. Not hung-around to bitch-whinge at someone else.

I probably wouldn’t have locked it typically, but I would potentially depending on what I was needing to do. For example if my child had gotten into a real mess and it was going to be a major and unpleasant job cleaning him or her up I might lock it. I would certainly never question anyone else for doing so. I‘m so sorry your wife ended up upset like this. I think the other person asking why you locked it was being very unreasonable and frankly quite nosey.

Our local John Lewis has a room with 4 changing stations, 2 sinks, a chair in a nook with privacy curtain to feed and a child size toilet in a cubicle. The door to the room does lock, but it'd be incredibly bad form to lock it given it can meet the needs of 6 babies/ toddlers at a time. If you'd locked it I'd have said something to you.

I'd say in those rooms the lock is more for during cleaning/ maintenance than anything else.

Babies are entitled to privacy & dignity just like anyone else, so yes i would lock it. I wouldn't question why someone else locked it, none of my business.

Did you pee in the sink 🤮

A baby does not need privacy and what is undignified about sharing a changing room with another parent?

No I wouldn't lock a public changing room. It has 2 tables to be able to have 2 occupants. And depending on the circumstances would depend on if I said anything. If my baby just waited with 💩 explosions up thier back and you were hogging two changing tables.... Absolutely I'd call out the selfishness. Because that's what it is. It's effectively saying my baby is more important than yours and yours can just sit uncomfortably because I said so. As a mother, I wouldn't expect people to wait unnecessarily because I want privacy. It's a public changing room. Privacy isn't really an option. If it was a single table changing room, fair enough, no one can use it regardless of waiting inside or outside of it, no issues 🤷‍♀️

It's effectively saying my baby is more important than yours and yours can just sit uncomfortably because I said so.

LOL. Nature of parenting. To me, my baby IS more important than yours or anyone else's.

Seriously? A baby doesn't know anything about privacy or dignity ffs.

LOL. Nature of parenting. To me, my baby IS more important than yours or anyone else's.

LOL. And they say having children makes people more grown up, empathetic and unselfish.

At that moment in time it was pee in the sink or wet myself. I did what I had to do.

If there’s 2 changing tables then I wouldn’t lock the door, the place obviously intends for the changing room to be used for multiple people at the same time. I wouldn’t say something to the person who has unnecessarily locked the door though, I’d just be very annoyed that my baby has had to sit in his poop for longer than absolutely necessary because of someone else’s selfishness.

It's the OP.

Wow, this has blown up and appears to be quite divisive with strong and opposing views and a lot of nastiness.

To add context, we didn't even register there were two pads when we walked in and locked the door automatically. When I realised there were two I assumed they were for different aged children and we used the smaller one. We saw two other mums and babies go in later in the day and they both locked the door too. We definitely didn't do anything unusual or wrong.

I wasn't asking for people's opinions on both of us changing the nappy. It's nobody's business and the only impact it has on anyone else is a positive one, because of course it's easier and quicker with two pairs of hands and the space will be available sooner. We enjoy both being involved and will continue to do it together when out in public regardless of how old she is.

But one of the people commenting clearly didn't read the post and told me I should have gone in too to help my wife lol so I guess it's a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Someone else said I should have answered back to the woman and defended my wife. I did. But as we were both changing the nappy, I was defending both of us.

To the people saying we should have used the ones nearby - we didn't know there were other changing facilities nearby at the time and still don't know whether they only had one pad or multiple. We had never been there before and had only just arrived.

And to the people expressing concern over my wife's anxiety - yes, she is getting help.

After this happened, we checked with a staff member whether we're allowed to lock the door, and they said of course, it's up to you whether you want privacy.

So, to sum up, if we were to return we would definitely lock the door again.

Anyway, I'm going to forget about this and move on with my life now. Thank you to everyone who answered with kindness.

After this happened, we checked with a staff member whether we're allowed to lock the door, and they said of course, it's up to you whether you want privacy.
I can't believe you thought you needed permission to lock the door. You weren't at school needing to ask the teacher!

Like I said on page 1 it isn't about whether you are allowed to or not. You asked about etiquette which is not the same thing. But if you want to keep locking the door and monopolising a space the majority of people think should be shared you need to develop a thicker skin. Which you won't do by running to teacher to ask permission.

This thread has become completely over thought. I don't see many of these baby changes around anyway. I would just let the matter go!

Who are you kidding. There isn't a single parent out there that would put someone else's child before their own.

Well I used a baby change with 8 people in it today! One mum changing a newborn on one table, one mum changing an older baby on the other table with a toddler waiting, my 2YO using the mini toilet and my 6YO waiting 🤣 This was in a French service station, I opened the unlocked door and was going to wait but the other 2 French mums absolutely insisted we come on in too.

Ignore those harping on about how they'd be annoyed waiting and it's poor etiquette to lock it etc. They obviously can't see past the end of their own noses. There are many reasons you would want to lock the door whilst changing your child. Speaking as someone who has been dealing with a massive poonami (for the millionth time) with people walking past, I would have killed for some privacy for me and my daughter. You don't have to explain yourself when it comes to your children and any parents who have a strop and are not understanding of you needing privacy and space when dealing with your child can get to f. Personally, having a go at you for locking the door is waaaay ruder to me than locking that door.

Why are you being so spiteful? There’s really no need for it, but I’m sure there’s a reason, so you have my pity.

Most people are saying they would lock the door. MN has posted this thread on their FB page - the consensus seems to be to lock the door.

Hope you get some enjoyment out of ridiculing the actions of people with post natal anxiety at least.

It's OP who went asking permission and it's not OP who has PND.

I just think OP is being rather silly not getting the difference between choice and permission which is rather odd in an adult.

Erm yes they do. That's generally why you don't go parading their genitals about it public 🙄 I mean... some might, but personally I don't. It's up to you if you don't care who sees your baby naked and it's also up to other parents if they don't wish for anyone else to see their own baby naked. Personally I wouldn't be too worried in a baby changing area with other parents getting on with changing their child, but all parents have their own limits