Baby changing room etiquette

[Orange53]

Two questions:

1. If you’re changing one child in a public changing room and the room contains two changing stations and a sink (nothing else) and the door is lockable, do you lock it? (assuming there’s no one else waiting while you’re there and you’re using it for a standard nappy change taking about 3-5 mins)
2. If you’re waiting for the room because another mum has locked it, do you say anything to her about why she locked it when she comes out?

If it helps your wife I also talk out loud when I'm changing my babies nappy so when im in a toilet it changing room locked anyone waiting outside knows what I'm doing and can guesstimate when I'll be done.
( Mummy is changing your nappy, mum is putting your nappy cream on..mum is putting your tights on or sock on, mummy is washing her hands now and we are all done)
It's a nervous thing but I think actually really helps me, my baby enjoys my voice and also I think helps anyone waiting know what I'm doing and I'll soon be done.

My daughter hated getting changed on a public changing table, so i'd always have locked the door.
And no, I wouldn't have questioned anyone doing the same.

you wouldn't get changed yourself with a stranger in the room so why is that different for a baby?

Oh please 🙄

OP is doesn't take 2 of you to change a nappy ffs.

It used to take me 5 mins or more with a newborn, just getting the baby undressed, the anxiety of taking so long and just generally being a new mum - especially if it was a messy one. We can’t all be a pro at first but with a lot of practice we certainly get there.

This for sure

Firstly, I think that set up is unusual. Usually in a lockable room there's just space for one person.

Some changing facilities are absolutely grim,but there's also quite nice ones. My local shopping centre has two lovely family rooms, and the John Lewis one is gorgeous! To be honest, in the early days I completely avoided any other changing room until I got my confidence up.

1. I may well have locked it in the early days but I probably wouldn't bother now. I definitely would have apologised if I saw someone waiting when I got out though.

1. I absolutely would not have questioned someone else locking the door, though I might have been inwardly seething, depending on how much my baby was crying.

Most parents are quite kind and supportive of each other in my experience, hopefully this will be a one off.

I'm sorry your wife was upset, the first months of parenting are hard, it will get easier. I can think of loads of reasons why someone might want to lock the door, and it's also non of my business why someone might want to lock the door. Some people just like to get annoyed over every little thing, and they must live an unhappy life, so more fool them! I think you were unfortunately just unlucky on your first outing, I think most people wouldn't bat an eyelid at the locked door.

Yes I would have locked it and no I wouldn’t question anyone who had locked it. If anyone questioned me I would tell them it was so I didn’t have to speak to morons like them and walk off

No I wouldn’t lock it and no I wouldn’t say anything.
It’s not on licking the door and spending ages in there. I vies it the same as locking the entrance door in a set of toilets, you are preventing anyone else from using the facilities.
Op- maybe you need to take the lead and change your baby.

Aaargh auto correct!

Always one to protect my baby's privacy, men are obviously allowed in baby changing rooms.

yes, I would but I wholeheartedly believe children are entitled to privacy with their genitals as much as adults are.

I wouldn't lock a baby changing room clearly made for 2 babies to be changed but if it did happen to be locked, I might be slightly annoyed especially if my baby has done a poo but I don't think I'd say anything.

What do you mean by this? What's the problem?

I’m sorry you are both having a hard time and the early months of parenthood can be tough.

Looking at the bigger picture and I say this kindly, your first trip out was at 3 months due to PND. I think you should let go of the changing room for incident which isn’t really an incident and focus on supporting your wife through PND.

No I wouldn’t lock it unless there was a toilet in there. I always find it strange that those double ones have a lock.

OP it sounds like this is one to put down to experience. It also might help your wife to remind her that the other mum might also have been struggling herself with anxiety, post-natal depression, lack of sleep etc etc and that’s why she might have been cross. Move on and keep enjoying your baby and building confidence going out and about.

Anyone who is taking “ages” in a baby change is not in there having a good time, let me assure you.

With my son I’m in and out in 5 minutes tops. However, my daughter had digestive issues and allergies resulting in chronic constipation and explosive diarrhoea. Frequently her nappy changes were so bad that I needed to change not only her nappy, but her whole outfit, half of my outfit, as well as clearing poo from her pram. Not to mention the fact I needed to basically bath her in the sink, and then clean down the baby changing area too.

If anyone had dared mention it to me I’d have tore them a new one.

If it had two tables I would be annoyed if someone locked it. You should have used other facilities if you weren’t comfortable sharing.

I personally would lock the door in most if not all public places, just as I would a toilet cubicle. Baby's private parts are fully on display when changing. It would depend on the set up and where the changing room was (e.g. in a pub I definitely would lock it, maybe less likely if at a baby sensory class for example where you know everyone is attendance is another parent). If you don't lock it then you often have weirdos/small children/impatient people trying to come in which can be very disruptive. Was it a room with just changing stations or was it a loo with two changing tables? If the former I might not lock, the latter I definitely would lock. Height of rudeness to complain about you locking it as well, I'm sorry it negatively affected your wife.

I don’t need to use baby changes anymore, but when I did I always locked even if for more than one baby. You don’t know who’s coming into the room and I always felt my child deserved some privacy when getting changed.

And no I wouldn’t say anything, I’d just wait my turn.

I sometimes would lock it. My 3 year old is back in nappies after some pretty horrible constipation as she’s now on laxatives and doesn’t get much warning when she needs to go. She’s been toilet trained for over a year so is very embarrassed about it and she absolutely wouldn’t want me to change her in a room with someone else in it.

If I just had the one year old I would probably leave it open. No one should have to explain for what reasons they needed the door locked IMO.

A bit off topic, but recently I had to take my husband into the baby changing room at our local shopping centre as we couldn't get into the disabled loo. I obviously locked the door. When we came out, the cleaner was waiting to check that everything was ok, as she had heard his voice and was concerned. I was pleased that she had been concerned about safety enough to check.

Hope your wife is okay, it does get easier. I sometimes lock the door if I feel the need, so poo explosions or if my baby is really upset etc and want the privacy and I've never ask another parent why they locked it.

I meant more if someone had gone into the shared changing rooms and locked the door to feed for half hour or something, making the changing rooms out of reach to others that needed it, I’d be annoyed.
Anyone that has had a baby knows poonami’s happen and are a nightmare to clean, especially when out.
But I’ve also had to wait ages for someone who was using the baby changing to feed. Something that can be done anywhere (I know some don’t like to in public) but putting the baby changing out of use of others who need it for so long is not nice.