Baby changing room etiquette

[Orange53]

Two questions:

1. If you’re changing one child in a public changing room and the room contains two changing stations and a sink (nothing else) and the door is lockable, do you lock it? (assuming there’s no one else waiting while you’re there and you’re using it for a standard nappy change taking about 3-5 mins)
2. If you’re waiting for the room because another mum has locked it, do you say anything to her about why she locked it when she comes out?

also just to add, so many baby change facilities do not have any toilet facilities for parents! On a few occasions I’ve had to perch over a sink with baby strapped the the table and then alcohol wipe the hell out of it afterwards. Why are parent facilities so lacking?

WTAF? You peed in the sink?! If there's no toilet, it's not a room for adults to relieve themselves, you go to the ladies.

There’s one like this with a small cubicle for breastfeeding in a shopping centre near me. I used to lock it if I was breastfeeding as the pushchair with all my things in didn’t fit in the cubicle and I was worried someone would come in and take my things while I was feeding the baby.

Taking up the only changing room for feeding is really not on. If places are daft enough to put feeding rooms (a concept I don't get the point of anyway) in the same place as the changing table then that is their fault but it doesn't mean you have to use it and hog the room when you could have a number of babies needing to be changed.

You can feed at a cafe table. You can't change a nappy at a cafe table.

You can’t get a pram into a normal cubicle. So unless you are happy to leave you baby unattended in a public loo while you are in a cubicle, the only option is a parent facility including toilet, or using a disabled toilet where you can take the baby in too. And I absolutely hated using a disabled toilet, I was constantly conscious someone with a disability could be waiting outside. But sometimes you have to go!

I cannot imagine ever thinking the solution in this scenario is peeing in the sink. Never once did I feel the need.

I used to pull the pram right up to me. So it was blocking the cubicle door but also blocking what anyone could see of me.

Can't imagine peeing in a sink. I'm slightly admiring the athleticism involved.

Yes sometimes you do need to go however you don’t ever need to go in a sink.

If need be and there’s no family loo, go to the last cubicle, park your buggy outside it and leave the door a bit open if you’re concerned. You can keep an eye on your baby and go to the loo.

I may or may not have locked it depending on baby's mood. But I would never question anyone who did. Sorry it has upset your wife- Hope the next trip out is easier.

When I was breastfeeding my first baby I was not comfortable feeding in public as it took a while for him to settle. So yes I made use of the feeding facility they had and locked the door. There is also a disabled toilet with a baby changing table next door to this. If I had someone with me then they would stay with the pushchair and I would not lock the door. If I was on my own with baby I would lock the door.

I personally would only lock it if I had two or more children with me that may be liable to run off while changing the others. If it was just me and my son I would leave open so someone else could use the other station, but I wouldn't speak to someone if they chose to lock it while they used it. I will soon have a newborn and a 3 year old so once that happens yes I would lock us all in in that instance

”just one changing a nappy would have taken longer” - why? It definitely doesn’t take two to change a newborn - a squirming toddler maybe, but two trying to change a newborn would be a nightmare!!

No wouldn't lock it unless 2 adults and 2 kids or additional needs (though by the time my dd could run out of the room, she could certainly unlock a door!)

I’m glad you never felt the need, unfortunately on one occasion I have and if I’m absolutely desperate and I’ve run into a baby change thinking there’s a loo as well there’s no way I’m running about putting baby back into buggy to find another toilet. Baby changed should have a full adult toilet accessible

Oh don’t be ridiculous. It’s a really grim thing to have done.

I might or might not lock it. If my husband was with me, like he often is when I'm out and need to change our toddler, then I use him to be my second pair of hands. My 18 months old is a nightmare to change at this age so it helps to have someone passing the wipes etc. So I'd think I'd lock it with all 3 of us in there.

The ones I go in usually have a loo so I'll go myself too, so obviously would lock!

I might or might not lock it. If my husband was with me, like he often is when I'm out and need to change our toddler, then I use him to be my second pair of hands. My 18 months old is a nightmare to change at this age so it helps to have someone passing the wipes etc. So I'd think I'd lock it with all 3 of us in there.

The ones I go in usually have a loo so I'll go myself too, so obviously would lock!

Guess im grim then, have to say though if you think that’s grim then you have no idea of the atrocities I’ve come across in public toilets over the years.

What? Where people haven’t used them as intended?

I might have locked it, depending on a while range of things. In your wife’s situation I might have locked it if I was feeling anxious and it just let me focus. I might have also locked it on autopilot just because it was a bathroom door which could lock. 🤷‍♀️

On the other hand, I might also have been very stressed about being held up getting to a nappy change for some reason. I don’t think I’d have said anything though. There are a thousand reasons why someone else might be having a really bad day and this was the final straw.

I think it’s one of those things where we all just need to cut each other a little bit more slack.

Parents need to help each other out a bit and share things, so no, why would I lock another family out?

I always lock it but I speed through and do it as quickly as I can.

When ds was newborn I changed him in a sainsburys womens toilet and two different women walked over and commented on his penis. So yeah, I can do without that kind of shit

Because some weirdos like to assault women and children. Having a room that has a lockable door and often in a quieter part of a shopping centre is ideal for this.

I would never lock the door on a multiple use changing room. Not reasonable to deny another parent the space.

I would lock it. Hard enough to concentrate on child, let alone anyone sneaking up behind you

If it has more than 1 change table in then I generally wouldn't lock it. The only time I would lock it was if my toddler was in one of her bolting moods when trying to change the newborn or if you have an older child with SN who needs a change. I would be a bit 🙄 at a locked multiple change room with only 2 adults and a baby in but wouldn't say anything. My little one has horrid teething nappy rash and needs a quick change, she also absolutely hates been wet or dirty so would the screaming and thrashing about making waiting hard work.

Personally I think sticking a feeding chair/ cubicle in the baby change is grim (for both the mother and baby). Baby change rooms absolutely stink and are usually really busy so not even offering a quiet space a nosy baby needs.

You will realise in a few weeks baby change spaces are limited and in high demand. They are either put in the disabled/ all inclusive toilet or they have 1 baby change room with multiple change tables. I say this gently but I think you need to prepare your wife for when you are forced to use the disabled toilet as that's where the only baby change is and there is a disabled person waiting to use it and they lecture or huff and puff at you using the disabled toilet. It would be great if places had separate disabled and baby changes but most don't and there are some disabled people who are (rightly) very protective of those spaces. The recent adoption of most disabled toilets also now considered a toilet for everyone also seems to have added additional pressure to their protected space. Maybe I have been unlucky in my medium size shopping centre but every time I go there I and other mothers witj prama are confronted or huffed and puffed.

The only time it would take 2 to change a nappy is in the case of massive poo explosion that covers clothes or when you get to the wriggly, demon possession at nappy change phase when they fight you, wriggle, roll and struggle whilst screaming like a banshee.