Our new baby is left out

[Baby2023]

Hello

we have a 4 month old boy together and he has twins who are 3 from a past relationship. We are saving to moving in with each other. When he has his kids at the weekends he then at his. However our little boy is left out when they do stuff at the weekend. For example they are going swimming tommrow with nanny and they haven’t invited me and my son to go along with them. He would never think about leaving one of the twins and only taking one of them but is fine about leaving our little boy out. I am really cross and feel this is very unfair to our boy. Am I over reacting about him being left out. Yes I know he is only 4 Months but he hates being away from his dad and as he grows up he will see he is being left out

You're being ridiculous.

Are you desperately concerned about the twins being left out everytime he does something with your son during the week?

They're different ages, with different needs. Of course they'll do things at different times.

How do you know he hates being away from his dad? Wise up, seriously. God help your partner.

Let him spend time with his dc. Your baby is not missing out and will get undivided attention in turn. How long were you together before getting pg?

Good grief, you're being absurd.

Sorry but you are being too sensitive and silly. Your baby is very small and naturally can't participate in toddler pursuits

Your baby is 4 months old, he can cope without his Dad for a bit.

I think you’re being a little but oversensitive. When my youngest was a baby dh and I both made sure that our eldest still got plenty of one on one time. Dh actually used to take eldest swimming, while baby and I stayed home. I’d take eldest to softplay or a cafe, just the 2 of us. Even now youngest is 18 months we make sure that they both get time with us without the other being there.

It’s swimming our baby can be included in swimming ? He does get time with them on his own during the week . This is every weekend ?

Surely swimming is about 2 hrs tops with getting there and back factored in? What’s he doing the rest of the weekend?

No i don’t worry about the twins being left out cause they are with their mum during the week. They have seen this baby three times since he has been born

It sounds like you are the one who doesn’t want to be left out. Your 4month old won’t even know about the swimming.

You're needy.

He takes them back to his and stays there with them. He don’t see him while he has them

Yes I am probably needy but thin me and my son are allowed time at the weekend with him instead of being left out. He works Monday to Friday 8-6 baby goes to bed at 7 and then we don’t see him at weekends

he's four months old 🤷‍♀️
I'm sure he will get an invite when he's a bit bigger 🙄

Yes 4 months old but still his son not just my responsibility to take care of
him every weekend

You must really miss your DP and that’s fine.

But your little one doesn’t care!

I promise you the baby won't know any different.

Swimming with a baby as well as preschoolers sounds like a nightmare. Have his dc spent time with you and the baby. Could you meet them afterwards?

I think the issue here, if I've understood correctly, is that your DP isn't doing any parenting of his four month old at the weekends? Does he even see your baby at the weekend?

And there we have the real issue. So your partner opts out of parenting your newborn all weekend, every weekend so basically does zero for him all week?

We haven’t been invited to spend time with them after.

We have one Saturday every 5 weeks together

I think a 3 year old each is enough for 2 adults to keep safe swimming, without adding a baby too. Unless you also wanted to go along and he said no?