Will leaving newborn overnight effect bond

[EmmaLeaa]

My baby is 4 weeks old and me and partner have a couple plans this month, he has a great relationship with family members and always been around family members since birth. Will me leaving him overnight with grandparents couple times this month effect his bond with me? I’m a first time mum and don’t want him to forget I’m his mum. He stayed at my mums last weekend and my partners mum offered to have him this weekend so she can bond better with him, and then next weekend he is staying at my mums. Is this too many nights away from me? It will be 3 in total this month.

No he will be fine with his grandparents, everyone dies the staying with grandparents differently there is no right or wrong imo.

DOES* SORRY

You do you, but I think that’s a lot. 4 weeks is no time at all, they are so so tiny. Surely you’re still recovering as well? I’m not sure I could have been away from my baby for any length of time when he was that little!

Also I do t think you can say whether a 4 week old has a ‘great relationship’ with anybody!

I am quite shocked at this to be honest! And I agree with the above comment- how on earth can you say a 4 week old has a 'great relationship' with anyone? Bizarre thing to say

If baby is happy with them, I don't think it will affect your bond. It's a little unusual that you can do it but you're obviously surviving in the best way for you which is good for your baby too.

Sorry but you really can't tell if a 4-week has any sort of relationship. And no, definitely the bond will be fine. Baby won't even know, they're in safe hands

I'm all for a night away but 4 weeks is very little and that sounds an awful lot of nights away in a short space of time. Do you feel you need some time / space to recover? If so, fine. But I wouldn't be allowing this just because other family members wanted a turn. Does your partner work during the week? Is he being allowed time to bond?

Don’t want to pile on, but I can’t imagine leaving a 4 week old at all, and how to they have a ‘great relationship’ at 4 weeks old with family? Very strange.

Of course some newborns must be in NICU etc, but if you don’t have to be separated during that newborn period I wouldn’t. They crave the smell and safety presence of their mother (and father).

Can I gently ask do you feel bonded with your newborn? Do you get that rush of love when you look into each other’s eye? I ask because I don’t know anyone who would be separated with their baby that young. It’s okay if you don’t, but it might be worth bringing up with your health visitor.

I doubt they will forget you but I suspect they will be stressed by it.

I meant he’s happy and settled around my big family, I have a lot of family members, he’s very content. I do have a great rush of love for my son and can I add it’s not the whole weekend, it’s just one night and I pick him up in the mornings, so altogether it would be 3 nights, but I’m quite on the edge about next weekend it’s why I am
asking this question today, me and my partner fell pregnant very very early on in our relationship and never got much time together during my pregnancy which is why I’m on 2 boards of making time for my relationship. My partner does work, a lot.

You do whatever you think is best for your circumstances, but grandparents have no need look after newborns overnight to bond with them!

What makes you think he is happy? Stressed new borns don’t cry. They go very quiet.

I also fell pregnant very early on into the relationship, so I do understand what you are saying there. But the fact that you are questioning it is telling you something here. What does your partner think?

He cries when he needs to cry, and I’m always there for him when he cries, and he’s already learning to smile and he loves being on me, he’s on me all the time lol. I can tell he’s happy and not stressed, I am still a mum at the end of the day and as mums we know our children best, which is why I’m here asking if this can effect the bond so I can take the right advice from other mums to improve my circumstances because as a mum I am still learning - but I am a good mum, I say that with confidence 😊

But you have the responsibility of a baby now... a 4 week old one... your relationship (although important) should not be your main priority right now?

I wouldn't. Don't think most would unless you're about 15?

Yes I think it’s too much unless you seriously need time away to protect your mental health. Have a read up on the third trimester, babies that little need to be with their mums pretty much all the time. I can’t understand why you’d stress your baby out like this to be honest.

No you’re right, but my baby is my main priority but I am also trying to make sure my relationship is also getting attention so as parents we can show our son loving parents and raising him on the same page. Hence why I’m here asking advice so if I’m doing it the wrong way I can make changes without it effecting my sons bond with me, I’m just trying to balance his work load, our time together and making sure I’m doing things right as a mum

It will be fine, I've looked after my grandson since he was about 6 weeks old. He's now school age and we have a very close relationship

So you mean fourth trimester?!

*do

Gently, it's OK to listen to your instinct and stay close to your new born. If your relationship lasts, it will be because your baby's dad also prioritises what you and your baby needs.
If you do go away for the night and feel ready to have sex because you want it, not because it's what he wants, USE CONTRACEPTION.

Wow, there's a staggering amount of judgement here.
If you're breastfeeding the logistics of this would be more complicated, but for a formula fed baby I don't see the harm. Your bond will be just fine.
If your parents are willing to do it (mine would have been less than keen) and you are happy I say go for it.
You'll get some much needed sleep and be happier for it. Which is good for everyone, baby included.

I wouldn’t leave a 4 week old overnight unless I had to. But equally I don’t think it will harm them.