My sons school have raised safe guarding concerns

[Livelove0x]

Due to unfortunate circumstances me and my three children have had to move quite a way from school, we get a bus or taxi then a 25 minute train and a 20 minute bus to school. With my youngest son now being at nursery and starting at 8.30 my 13 year old daughter takes my 6 year old son on the bus from town to school, I put them on in the morning and meet them off it after school. The bus stop is outside school so there are no main roads to cross, my daughter is quite mature for her age and I have no issues with her making sure he’s safe, she has a contract phone and we communicate during the bus ride. The school found out today that this is what we are doing and have raised concerns, I am trying my best to do what I can in our situation. Does anyone have any advice because if my daughter can’t take him I’ll be late dropping my youngest and late picking up my 6 year old. School want a meeting tomorrow after school, what do I say

I really do appreciate how hard it must be for you at the moment. However, I think the school are in the right here.

I don’t think there is a problem with that arrangement - just ask them which part of it they are concerned about? Maybe they just want to know that you are authorising your daughter to do pick ups/drop offs so they can cover themselves?

I would have thought a 13 year old was mature enough to take her 6 year old sibling on a bus ride from one point to another.

Do you have a 'Find My' feature on your DD's phone? Then you could track if they are on the bus and where they are on the way back to town.

The school might want to know what happens if there is a bus strike, your DC miss a bus, or for some reason get on the wrong bus.

It depends. I think once the younger one is in KS2 (so years 3-6) then it’s fine; infants is quite young. That said, it all sounds very simple and probably quite good for them really!

I think as a temporary measure it sounds the best you can do.
Are you likely to be able to move back any time soon?
If not are you planning to move schools?

This is ridiculous imo and the schools going to get nowhere. Life happens, there’s no reason why a 13yo can’t take a 6yo to school. I know it’s different in the uk, but people from some countries would argue that it would be fine for the 6yo to this this by themselves (I wouldn’t btw)! Tell the teachers in the meeting that they’re very welcome to do the school run for you..

Apply for home to school transport with the local authority and explain the situation. I would explain the situation to school and mention if there is any funding available through the school to arrange taxis so that you can all go together or even mention breakfast clubs so that your six year old can be dropped off by you.

I would trust a mature 13-year-old to take a six-year-old on the bus, with you meeting them before and after.

Is it a temporary move? That sounds like an absolutely insane school run! Can’t be good for any of you. Is a closer school an option?

Once you mention funding school will back track as they will not want to offer anything. Put this in writing so that you can have proof that you have looked at alternative options as school do have a premium fund for children on low incomes(do you fit this category).

OP I think it’s good the school want to meet , because they can offer help and support.

I used to work in a safeguarding role and honestly it’s not ok to have your 13 year old being responsible for getting your 6 old to school every day. It’s a very long commute, how far away are you from the school now ? And how likely are you to be able to move back into the local area? Do you need to think about moving schools?

There is nothing wrong with a responsible, mature 13 year old bringing her 6 year old brother to school on the bus. Bloody ridiculous.

Is it a direct bus to school? Or is it a bus, train and then another bus? I think they're being responsible to raise it but I would just be honest with them about why you have to do it, just because they want to chat it doesn't mean it'll be a telling off but perhaps what can we do to help. They do have a duty of care and even with a mature 13 year old for a longish journey it is a bit much (albeit if its a direct bus not as much).

Just say you've had to move, you have explored all avenues and this is the only one that works but that you've made provisions ie the mobile phone.

Also perhaps they want to discuss what would the plan be if one was poorly, or would you be able to get to school in a reasonable time if he needed picking up etc.

That sounds perfectly fine to me.

I would assume they mean safeguarding for all of you, not that they are singling you out for doing something 'wrong'.

What happens if the 13 yo is sick or gets a detention or has something after school that means she can't collect the six year old type thing.

Did you not take the time to understand the situation(s) then either?

the 13 yo isn't responsible for getting the 6 year old to school, merely keeping an eye on him on the bus their mother puts them on, then walking him ino school.

Anyway, an NT 13 yo should be more than able to do this.

At 13 I was looking after 18 month old twins after school. Times have changed, granted, but not to the point a 13year old can't be trusted to look after a 6 yo on a bus

I don’t think that sounds like a sustainable arrangement.

Surely the youngest isn't at mandatory school agree so doesn't matter if they're late, I would have thought your priority use to those who do need to be in school over and above a 3 year old?

What are you doing once they're dropped at nursery?

But OP is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Would it be better for her children if she gave up work? Is is better for children to be raised in poverty without a role model who works?
What exactly is OP meant to do?

Sorry if you're dropping then working fair enough, if dropping then home alone until pick up then I think you need to prioritise the older ones until you can move their schools, at least for the 6yo if the eldest is happy and coping with the journey

It doesn’t sound great. Is it really fair on your 13 year old? School are correct to be concerned. It isn’t sustainable.

My thoughts on this are that while the 13 year old might be mature the 6 year old isn’t. If something happened like he had a tantrum or ran off or didn’t want to go into school it isn’t fair on the 13 year old to have the responsibility of that on her shoulders. If god forbid he got hurt or something she’d feel responsible for that. So no I don’t think it’s appropriate. I looked after my younger brothers from age 12 and found the responsibility of ensuring their safety daunting. One of them fell over and broke a finger once in my care and I felt horrendous.

I don't see why this arrangement is a problem. Once a week I work later and my 12 year old daughter picks up my son from after school club at primary school. They then walk home and have about an hour alone until I get back. The school have never raised any concerns.

I looked after my 4 year old brother and took him out on the bus as a 13 year old. Don't see the issue here.

Is this school still the nearest suitable school with a place for your son? If so, it sounds as if you would certainly qualify for home to school transport provided by your local council. Contact them to find out.