My sons school have raised safe guarding concerns

[Livelove0x]

Due to unfortunate circumstances me and my three children have had to move quite a way from school, we get a bus or taxi then a 25 minute train and a 20 minute bus to school. With my youngest son now being at nursery and starting at 8.30 my 13 year old daughter takes my 6 year old son on the bus from town to school, I put them on in the morning and meet them off it after school. The bus stop is outside school so there are no main roads to cross, my daughter is quite mature for her age and I have no issues with her making sure he’s safe, she has a contract phone and we communicate during the bus ride. The school found out today that this is what we are doing and have raised concerns, I am trying my best to do what I can in our situation. Does anyone have any advice because if my daughter can’t take him I’ll be late dropping my youngest and late picking up my 6 year old. School want a meeting tomorrow after school, what do I say

Government only need to read threads like this to know why there is a workforce participation problem. The infantilisation of older and older children and completely overstated dangers just mean that parenting is a full time job for 16 years.

You've not met my sister as a child. She would run around shouting "tampons tampons tampons" knowing that I could not stop her.

That was in response to another poster and again our school wouldn't allow a 14 year old they have to be 16

Completely agree with this. My DD is tiny still but I just can’t understand either how schools can set rules on what age children can walk or travel to school by themselves. It’s so subjective and really none of their business.

Embrace any help you can get. SS have always supported me. They might be able to help with taxi costs or provide a taxi.

To do what you do everyday is admirable in itself and shows you are coping.

This 👏

Then everyone wonders why there's such an explosion in anxiety and mental health issues. Young people deserve more responsibility and more freedom in order to grow and develop.

Then we live in a different city

My 13 year old picks up his 9 year old sibling from school and has been doing it since they were 11 and 7. School have never had a problem with it. Lots of secondary school children pick their siblings up at DC2 primary school. Though I think most live very local to the school so it's just a 5 minute walk home.

I think all you can do is explain the situation and see what they say. Might be worth looking into breakfast club or after school club so it's gives you more time to get everyone where the need to be?

Either way depending on the length left on your tenancy I'm not sure this journey is sustainable. It adds a lot onto your day. Moving schools might be better for all in the long run

Is there an actual law in this country that states this is illegal ?

Honestly talk about wrapping kids in cotton wool.....OP just attend the meeting and let the school state 'their safeguarding concerns '.

You know your children and what they're capable of.

Glad you've escaped your awful circumstances and I wish you well for the future.

I think in your circumstances its fine. I would however start to think about moving them into schools closer to your home. Seems a very long way to travel.. especially for young ones

Unless this is an exceptionally affluent area with next to no child protection concerns, SS are not going to get involved or offer support to a thirteen year old dropping a six year old sibling off at school purely on those grounds.

SS are not a hand holding service: realistically, they are far too stretched for that and they cannot even adequately support caseloads with serious concerns raised, as recent events have shown.

If the school have a safeguarding concern it is their right to raise it but no school can obstruct a parenting decision, irrespective of whether they feel that decision is a good one or not.

13 is no issue for me , but that is a nightmare school run , you must have to leave at the crack of dawn , how long do you plan on doing this ?
It's going to be extra hard in the winter .

London school children are used to navigating their way into and from school from 10/11 years of age via multiple forms of public transport and often through large mainline termini. Quite why therefore a 13 year old is too young to take her brother to school in case there's a problem with the bus is beyond me. If the bus breaks down she'll do what she would have done if she was on her own but with her brother in tow surely?

Totally agree - this is great advice. Don’t go in expecting to be blamed or embarrassed. Instead, use it an opportunity to lay all your cards on the table, explain why you left (DV), how important the schools are to your children - ‘well settled’ ‘friendship groups’ ‘doing well’ ‘happy’ etc. and that after the turmoil of the last x years you don’t want to uproot them further if you can avoid it.

Obviously, you need to support your family alone now, and that’s why your job is so important, and that’s why the arrangements are what they are. And then once you have done that, say ‘I am glad you called this meeting because I would like to seek your advice on whether there are other options where the school could provide guidance and support to help us ensure we are doing everything we can to help the kids’.

School are making their own rules up here. There is NO law in England about this.
I've just looked it up.

OP this arrangement is totally acceptable . What is wrong with people theses days ? I think a thirteen year old is probably a safer bet, than a 15/16 year old mucking about with their friends and more likely to not pay attention to younger sibling !

I dont see the problem at all!

I used to take my sister to school when she was in reception I was 13, before this my older brother did the same with me, he's only 5 years older than me. The journey involved a 20min walk to the bus stop, 20min bus ride (passing my school), I'd drop her off and then walk back another 20min back to my school. I also picked up and left school 20min early to make it in time to get her, I'd be home with her until my parents got home. I did it for years, right up until I was 18 and went to uni. School never bothered they knew I took her. Both our parents worked and it was pre breakfast clubs (90s/00s). Different times now, but she's 13, not primary age, I'd expect she was more than capable. So long as everyone is on time what's the problem?

I would ask the school what their specific concerns are, and then ask them what support there is to resolve the issues they perceive.

School have to say what they want you to do - because they can't ask you to give up work, and clearly it would be insane for your children to be taken into care for this. So what do they actually propose? If the arrangement is not OK then the local authority should provide a taxi.

It makes me upset really that there is just fingerpointing from schools and no actual help.

I think your arrangement is not ideal but is OK. It is not abusive or dangerous or cruel or neglectful. It is a pragmatic response to a practical problem.

I’ve only read the first page am I’m already shocked that people think it’s ok for a 13 year old to take a 6yo on public transport alone!

whilst I understand the extenuating circumstances for the OP, and sympathise, I would raise this as a safeguarding concern too! Most schools have a policy as to the accepted age for pick ups and drop offs, 13 has NEVER been an acceptable age.

The school will want to help the OP and they might suggest collection themselves.

I agree, what the hell is wrong with the world???

It's normal here for secondary kids to collect siblings from the primary schools 5/10 minutes walk away.

I agree with above poster to wait until the school tell you their specific issue.

Then just say you are happy with the arrangement but are willing to discuss with social services if they refer because you are aware there's funding available for families in these circumstances and could request a taxi for them both.

Where I live (UK) there is a bus that picks up from the age of 4 and kids ride alone. I'd say it depends on the area.

13 is more than Ab acceptable age for someone to take a younger sibling on a bus.

I'm surprised so many think it's not.

The kids have to come first.