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Original poster

Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

372 replies

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 17:54

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
Greydogs123 · 20/03/2023 17:55

You leave. In your first sentence you say your husband is hitting your child out of temper and now he’s pushed your child over. His threat to kill himself is simply to control you. Protect your child and leave.

SallyWD · 20/03/2023 17:55

This is awful. I'm so sorry. I think you need to find a way to leave to protect your children. Don't listen to his threats. He's responsible for his own wellbeing not you. Protect your children.

Timmysbagel · 20/03/2023 17:56

I would take my son to the hospital and call the police from there. Is that a possibility for you? Do you have transport? Money? Real life support? Are you scared he will physically stop you from leaving?

Marchforward · 20/03/2023 17:56

Call the police.

Thesearmsofmine · 20/03/2023 17:57

You need to leave. Why are you allowing your husband to abuse your child?

Hintofreality · 20/03/2023 17:57

You call the police and tell them your husband assaulted your child. You protect your child from further physical and psychological harm by doing that.
Then you call family or friends and ask for their help in leaving the bastard and starting a new life for you and your child away from any violence.

Eeiliethya · 20/03/2023 17:57

I'm sorry but you need to leave with your baby and son. If he bangs his head hard enough he could do serious damage.

Fuck your husband, let him do what he wants, your son is more important. Abusive cunt.

Anotherturnipforthebooks · 20/03/2023 17:57

Do you mean he hit your son and knocked him over? If that's the case then call the police.

TwilightSkies · 20/03/2023 17:57

Police.
Let him kill himself the fucking prick.

Eeiliethya · 20/03/2023 17:58

I have a small child and this has made me feel sick. That poor little boy. You need to just leave now. Not tomorrow, not next week, now. And phone the police.

Beamur · 20/03/2023 17:58

Some hitting? Any hitting is unacceptable.
I think that you need to consider your and your children's safety here. This sounds abusive and crossing the line into violence.

PuttingDownRoots · 20/03/2023 17:58

Go to minor injuries. Tell them what happened. They will hopefully help you.

GoldenCupidon · 20/03/2023 17:58

i agree with others you need to call the police and get them to take him away from the home.

he will NOT kill himself he’s just run out of other ideas about how to keep you under control

ReadersD1gest · 20/03/2023 17:58

so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way
So let him. Rest assured he won't, the spineless tosser.

MarnieDg · 20/03/2023 17:59

Call the police. Now.

My MIL did this to her son, he now doesn't speak to her because she didn't protect him from a bully.

You're his mum. HELP HIM

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 20/03/2023 17:59

Ring or text the police.

momtoboys · 20/03/2023 18:00

You pick up the phone, call the police and get your children and yourself somewhere safe. This is not Ok and you not doing something to address it is not OK either.

Oldnproud · 20/03/2023 18:00

Timmysbagel · 20/03/2023 17:56

I would take my son to the hospital and call the police from there. Is that a possibility for you? Do you have transport? Money? Real life support? Are you scared he will physically stop you from leaving?

This.
I think that violent people get worse over time, not better, so as hard as it is, the sooner you deal with this the better for both your own and DS's sake.

Hintofreality · 20/03/2023 18:00

You have to call the police now, if you don’t you are complicit in the abuse of your child and you risk losing them.
Your call, it’s a violent man who hits small children or your children.

SoThisisMe · 20/03/2023 18:00

Leave, or get some male relatives to make him leave. Then report him to the police so that he has to have supervised contact only.

If your child discloses this abuse to another adult you are risking losing them if you don't protect them now. The support is out there for you, please be brave because it will only get worse if you stay with him.

Spendonsend · 20/03/2023 18:01

If i understood correctly, i would take myself, the baby and your son to hospital. I would say what happened and ask for their immediate help in contacting police and support services and say you cant go home. etc. If you can pack an overnight bag, id, any cash etc for yourselves do. Otherwise just go.

custardbear · 20/03/2023 18:01

Goodness this isn't something he can come back from, once as an accident is the only way this may be acceptable. As others have said, go to A&E and call the police from there. He should move out of your home and not be allowed access

titchy · 20/03/2023 18:01

So tomorrow your ds tells his teacher at school or nursery. And they rightly tell social services. Who MAY decide that you cannot keep him (and your other child) safe and therefore remove them from you.

Act NOW.

AuntMarch · 20/03/2023 18:02

If he does, you won't have to worry about shared custody. I doubt he would though, he is just counting on you not calling his bluff. But even if he did, why would you feel more guilty about that than letting him abuse your child?

Don't just leave. Report him. Take your DC to the hospital, even if you are certain he is ok. It isn't a waste of their time because ultimately it is to prevent a more serious injury later on. Tell them exactly what happened when they ask (because they will). Then you have it recorded which will be useful.

MarnieDg · 20/03/2023 18:02

Timmysbagel · 20/03/2023 17:56

I would take my son to the hospital and call the police from there. Is that a possibility for you? Do you have transport? Money? Real life support? Are you scared he will physically stop you from leaving?

This.

If your son has complications from hitting his head and you didn't help him or report him that makes you COMPLICIT in his abuse.

Do you wnat to lose your son?

I'm not trying to scare you. This is reality.