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Original poster

Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

372 replies

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 17:54

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
Beaniesmumsie · 20/03/2023 18:02

Call the police and leave him. My DH’s mum allowed his step dad to hit him when he was young, my DH never forgave his mum for standing behind the step dad rather than her own son, they don’t really have a relationship now. Leave so that you and your kids can make a good life together, it will be tough but it will be worth it.

fuzzwuss · 20/03/2023 18:02

take him to the gp, tell the gp that your husband did this, alternatively call or text the police. You must not tolerate or be complicit in your child being abused like this. Also, it is fairly clear to all who have been through stuff like this, that it will likely escalate.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 20/03/2023 18:03

@Wishbub you pick up your baby and son, take your son to A&E to have his head checked out, tell them what happened and ask them to call the police and have him removed.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 20/03/2023 18:04

Have you transport and money? Do you have parents you rely on? If so, go to them this evening. Pack a little bag and go to them .

gamerchick · 20/03/2023 18:05

You probably should get the bairns head looked at and tell them the truth.

TourmalineGiraffe · 20/03/2023 18:05

Im so sorry, you must be exhausted and confused.
I imagine dealing with your partners moods and threats has become second nature to you, it may be hard for you to recognise a crossed line.
This is the crossed line. You must fight for your children now, you know they are worth it and you are the only one who can help them.
Hitting and abusing your little one has to be the line for you.
There are lots of ways to do this, going to hospital and telling the truth is a good suggestion.
Otherwise tell your sons nursery/ school.

It may seem so daunting but many women have been in your position and there is a safe happy world on the other side of this.

Aftjbtibg · 20/03/2023 18:06

Call the police; have him removed from your home and take your son to the hospital. None of this is ok.

Coffeaddict · 20/03/2023 18:07

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child

this statement is correct. As others have said this needs to be reported to the police. Protect your child

Shmithecat2 · 20/03/2023 18:10

MarnieDg · 20/03/2023 18:02

This.

If your son has complications from hitting his head and you didn't help him or report him that makes you COMPLICIT in his abuse.

Do you wnat to lose your son?

I'm not trying to scare you. This is reality.

Show quote history

This. You should've left the first time he laid a finger on your son. Leave now.

Original poster
Wishbub · 20/03/2023 18:10

Thank you all, you're right, this has escalated and today it's just really hit home. I really wish he'd pushed me instead of my son. No family nearby and unfortunately my real friends live far away too

OP posts:
Comii9 · 20/03/2023 18:10

gamerchick · 20/03/2023 18:05

You probably should get the bairns head looked at and tell them the truth.

Best comment on the thread.

Hintofreality · 20/03/2023 18:13

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 18:10

Thank you all, you're right, this has escalated and today it's just really hit home. I really wish he'd pushed me instead of my son. No family nearby and unfortunately my real friends live far away too

Have you called the police?

I am sat here worried about a child I don’t even know, and I guess others are as well.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 20/03/2023 18:17

How away are family? Phone them and ask them to come.

boringingoring · 20/03/2023 18:18

Do you have any friends close by, OP? I'm reasonably sure even a casual acquaintance who you feel you can trust would step up if you asked for help. But either way, hospital and tell them the truth is the best bet, as others have said. Your boy needs medical attention, you both need to be out of there and this abusive and violent man needs to be reported.

Superwomble · 20/03/2023 18:19

Although your close friends and family aren't nearby, is there anyone you can call just to have some real life support, even if it's only on the phone today? I agree with all the suggestions that you get him checked out, tell the truth, involve the police. But try to get as much support as you can, to help you be strong for your children and to take care of yourself while you do it.

I hope the people who care about you will be there for you as much as they can, to help you deal with this. It's a horrendous situation.

Your husband's behaviour is not your fault. You do have to protect your children from him.

Sending you lots of love and strength. You will get through this.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 20/03/2023 18:20

Get a taxi to a & e, tell them what happened, they will be able to help. You need the injury documented so that social services can support you in ensuring that he only has supervised access.

Jonei · 20/03/2023 18:20

You have a responsibility to keep your child safe over and above anything else. A fully grown man doing that to a child who has no chance of defending themselves is inexcusable. I would contact the police, tell them what happened, and ask him to leave. If you can't do that, do you have family that can come and fetch you?

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 20/03/2023 18:20

Wishbub · 20/03/2023 18:10

Thank you all, you're right, this has escalated and today it's just really hit home. I really wish he'd pushed me instead of my son. No family nearby and unfortunately my real friends live far away too

Honestly @Wishbub this is terrifying! You are so conditioned to this abuse you need to see it for what it is.

If you had accidentally knocked your child and hurt his head, how distraught would you be? How beside yourself, wondering what you could have done differently and how you'll make sure it doesn't happen again? He pushes is 4yo INTENTIONALLY causing him a HEAD INJURY and he just shrugs it off? How can you feel no remorse over harming your own child? What about next time? When it's a broken arm, or the head injury is more severe and could cause him brain damage?

This will only continue to escalate and you desperately need to protect them. Don't let your new baby experience the fear your 4yo has experienced from their dad's temper.

Jonei · 20/03/2023 18:21

If you take your child to a and e they will ask you what happened, and deal with it for you.

LakeTiticaca · 20/03/2023 18:21

TwilightSkies · 20/03/2023 17:57

Police.
Let him kill himself the fucking prick.

My view as well. Unfortunately these f**ers never do

MyMumsOnMN · 20/03/2023 18:22

Get the fuck out and call the police. He hurts a 4 year old who can't fucking defend himself. Cunt.

xnyl · 20/03/2023 18:23

That's horrific

ScullysMate · 20/03/2023 18:25

Im so sorry but you absolutely must face this and deal with it. If you don’t then you are complicit in the abuse of your son by doing nothing to prevent it. You need to get him seen by a dr asap and you must tell them the truth.

You are stronger than you realise and you have to be to protect your children. Please do not minimise this. It is not ok to hit and push over a child.

WeeOrcadian · 20/03/2023 18:27

What do you do? You close yourself and your DC in a room and call the police. Now. Get off MN and call 999.

He's abusing your children and they need you to advocate for them. Be their voice. Do it now, before a bump is the least of the problems. Please.

7Worfs · 20/03/2023 18:28

OP this is how it starts, then escalates, then the unthinkable happens.
Abuse ALWAYS escalates.
You need to protect your children starting now.
Post here if you need more specific advice and courage.