Husband pushed 4 year old over who fell and banged his head

[Wishbub]

Not sure this is the right page, but i really don't know what to do. Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old. Today was the worst, my son fell and banged his head, he now had a large lump on the back of his head.

I told my husband that this is physical abuse of a child, which he ridiculed, saying it was just an accident. I told him I have to protect our son, so he's said that he'll kill himself and be out of our way.

I'm currently breast feeding a small baby and feeling incredibly unwell, I don't know what to do...

I haven't read the thread just the op but omg your poor poor little boy please get yourselves out of there think of your children before it could be too late x
Stay safe please

This

Your husband will not kill himself.
Definitely call two family members toyour home (at least one of them male) and tell them of the aggressive, angry push. Also call the police so that your husband voluntarily admits to angry, abusive outbursts and can get advice on enrolling in phychological counselling and anger management courses and where the could stay.
Can your husband live with relatives? Can a relative come and live with you, and support you?
The best outcome is for you and children to live in a non abusive household. Your husband should only join you once he has proven to have a high chance of controlling his emotions - with back up plans should he be feeling out of control again.
It might be that he has to stay away and have supervised visits for a long time. It might be that you never share a home again.
Take advice from proffessionals and help from family.

You're the only one that can protect your son, please do it. Have you somewhere you can go? If he is that abusive towards your cold what about you? are you scared to go?

Surely there are agencies and shelters who can help you? They seem to exist throughout the Western world.

Thinking of you. Protect your children. BOTH of them. What if he were to push you while you were holding your DD? Again, thinking of you. If I were not half a world away, I'd offer you my spare room for the interim. And if he showed up at my door, I'd toss the cat at him. It would be his last appearance. The cat is formidable.

I really wish he'd pushed me instead of my son.

FFS! Would you listen to yourself!

You are o.k.-ing living in an abusive situation where you "would rather he hit you than your child".

I left an abusive marriage because apart from not taking that shit from no-one there's no way I'm letting my child grow up thinking that is a normal way to interact with people.

Please contact Womens Aid to help you leave this bastard.

This is so sad. You must protect your son by taking him out of harms way. Call the police and the services will roll in from there.

It'll help your partner too as they can lock him up so he can do as he pleases with himself.

Husband has a bad temper which mainly results in shouting and some hitting of our 4 year old.
I don't know what to do...

You don't know what to do? Are you being serious? You get the fuck out of there. Honestly this has made me so angry. You don't stand by and allow anyone to hit your kids, EVER. Four is so little, if my partner ever hit our four year old it'd be the last thing he ever done.

Call womens aid, call the council. Protect your kids, they're too little to protect themselves.

Echoing those who say take your son to the hospital. A bump on the head can be really serious and needs looking at. While you’re there, tell them the truth. You need to get your kids away from that bastard. You owe it to them as their mum to protect them.

If you don’t protect your son, who will?
please get help, leave, he is an abuser.
your poor son must be so afraid.
There are many agencies that will help you.

I came back to the thread @Wishbub after reading earlier. You've had good advice, really good advice. I'm sure this must all be overwhelming for you, but if you don't take your children and protect them now, the authorities will.

You have a choice, but your kids don't. He's always had a choice not to be a violent bully (to put it nicely), and he will not hurt himself if you leave. He doesn't deserve your sympathy, but your little ones do. Please at least speak to someone, you don't have to do anything else. A teacher, health visitor, gp, charities (even charity shops), . Their are so many people that can help you.

The best outcome is for you and children to live in a non abusive household. Your husband should only join you once he has proven to have a high chance of controlling his emotions - with back up plans should he be feeling out of control again.

I wouldn't risk this @Wishbub . You'll never know if/when he might lose it and attack your children again.

I imagine all the name calling, threats of the op being reported and loosing her child has panicked her and made her leave the thread.

Hopefully mumsnet Can reach out and give her helpful advice.

I hope you're all safe @Wishbub

Just to say, I hope you're OK OP.

Yup, it's embarrassing. The PP doesn't appear to have considered what will happen to her child while she "does time for him".

Can you just let.us know you're OK OP?

Would you consider letting us know roughly whereabouts you are, maybe someone on MN is local and could reach out with a helping hand? Even virtually, if not in person.
I absolutely understand if you don't feel up to that, I hope the reason you haven't been back is that you're dealing with police

You need to leave. You say he has problems with shouting and hitting your child. This won't stop. And when your baby is old enough the same will happen to them too.

By staying you're condoning your husband abusing your kids.

I don't think they're competing to be the best parent. I think they genuinely feel this anger. I don't blame them.

This thread is so awful. The poor little boy has been in my thoughts and I find myself sad at times just thinking of the poor boy helplessly stuck with a mother whos refusing to protect him.
OP FFS pls just leave, go to the hospital and contact the police. Just go. If you are anywhere near London, drop me a line and I will help you in anyway possible. Dont let the poor boy be abused. You have a choice, make the right one.

He's an animal,
Protect your children before it's too late.

We all feel the anger.

There's no need to make a performative song & dance out of it.

So sorry that you and your little ones are in this situation. Please ring the police and try and get to somewhere safe for you and your babies

Mnhq dealing with thankfully

If you are going to quote me, please do so accurately.

I said I would happily go to prison if SOMEONE (physically or otherwise) harmed my child in my presence. You have assumed I mean their father. Why is that?

The father of my children is one of the best men I’ve ever met, he would never hurt them.

I am in competition with nobody. If, hypothetically, my children were being hurt of course I would intervene. If I wasn’t present and was told that an adult had (physically or otherwise) harmed my child then I can’t say I wouldn’t want to cause them as much pain as possible and I would be happy to take any punishment that came my way. While not ideal, in this hypothetical situation, my children would be well cared for by their father.

Do you often get embarrassed by what complete strangers type on the internet?