Hello everyone. Please no hide judgement.
I have fleed to a refuge with my 1 year old.
I feel like the worst mum ever, my son adores his dad and always smiles at him. I don't want to say he's a bad dad.
However the relationship became toxic the moment I was in it. It was rushed i was very stupid for believing he loved me at the start. I have been emotionally abused aswell as some s*xual abuse that happened durning my pregnancy. There's been times he's pushed me over and left me with bruises. He's cheated on my via social media before, I tried to leave him 7 months ago and he was threatening to kill himself etc so I stayed. It became more toxic because I wa struggling to cope with the betrayal but I felt so bad on leaving him. Hes recently decided he don't want me know more and things became so bad for my mental health. We was living together and he was doing everything he can to get a reaction or upset me so i had to leave because my mental state got so bad. Him, his dad and my own mother have turnt against me and trying to get my son took of me, there constantly ringing and saying stuff to social services and childrens center . Luckily the social worker can see what there trying to do and said she's proud of me. Parts of me feels like I have let my son down massively because he loves his dad so much and his father is very upset but still trying to hurt me in ways. I had to put my mental health first. But now Im just over thinking it all. What if I'm being dramatic about this and have caused my son to be apart from his dad?? He will see his dad again once it goes through court as he's already has threatened me with my son. I just feel like I have maybe gone to far by coming to a refuge and taking him away for a while? It's so hard my heads all over. I just wish people could see it from my perspective and that I done it for a reason. But what if I'm genuinely overreacting and it's not as bad as it seems? I read some stuff saying if a mother takes a baby away from there father then the mother must be a monster and not love the children 😢 just want some opinions on the situation as my heads all over. Tia x
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Parenting
Fleeing with my child
xx200xx · 03/02/2023 22:48
xx200xx · 02/05/2023 23:32
He don't know our sons routine. My son has dinner by 5pm and if drop of at pickup point is 5pm we won't get home till 6pm as it takes nearly an hour. Also my son don't wake up till 7:30/8:30 so it would mean waking him up. He don't know his nap routine either c
TheShellBeach · 02/05/2023 23:24
Has he ever even looked after your son for that length of time?
Does he know his routine?
I'm not surprised you're worried about it.
GOW56 · 26/05/2023 18:20
You have done the right thing. You will both be safer away from him. Even if he does not physically harm your child your husband's behaviour will harm him mentally. Boys absolutely do not need an abusing father as a role model.
Bunnyishotandcross · 26/05/2023 21:47
Grandparents have no rights op. He is a chancer. He would have to convince a judge he had previously had a long standing and meaningful relationship with your dc before he could even make an application for access... If he were to expect any sort of contact it would be assumed to be during exes contact time. Not muscling in as a third parent...
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