Toddler ruined something of mine

[Sleepyquest]

I am absolutely furious that my toddler has ruined an expensive item of mine whilst I breastfed her sibling. Is there any point telling her off? Do I just have to accept that all my stuff will be destroyed? Shall I just sell everything worth any value and live in an empty house? I am very frustrated 😢 and can't help my feelings but also don't want to feel negative about it. Advice please xx

Accidentally or on purpose? The answer changes things quite dramatically!

Keep expensive stuff away from toddler. Engage them in a game you can see before you start feeding? Small children don’t understand why they shouldn’t draw on furniture or play with make up.

What age is your toddler?

Depending on their age, it's not your toddler's fault.

They are learning about the world around them and don't really understand what is right or wrong. Expensive breakable items should be out of reach of toddlers- mine are on high shelves.

Getting angry at them won't help them understand, if anything it may make them scared.

I get it's upsetting but anything within reach is fair game for tiny gremlins... i mean humans

How old is your toddler and what actually happened?

Expensive things should not be kept in reach of children. Your toddler is a toddler, they're not known for their appreciation of precious objects.

How old is the child? What was the item? Details are relevant here.

How come you couldnt see what she was doing? I'd have her in my sight while I was breastfeeding. Not a criticism, but rather a point for the future.

A toddler absolutely doesn’t have the faculty to understand about ruining things or how expensive things are. That’s why they need supervision.

I understand that you’re upset but it isn’t her fault and yes, from now on you’ll have to toddler-proof your home and keep valuables/treasured items out of reach.

Well you can’t do anything now as consequences need to be immediate.

Consider what you leave out. Our things are so interesting and special to a toddler. It’s not really their fault…

My kids broke so much stuff when they were little, but basically you do need to keep valuable stuff out of reach and watch toddlers all the time.

Treat them like puppies, if they chew anything it's your fault for not putting it out of reach.

How old? On purpose with knowledge of the consequences of their actions or just whilst playing with no idea that it would cause damage?

How old is she? Was it deliberate? What had she 'destroyed'?

you realise she's not very tall... put things she's not allowed out of her reach. It'll be a long long long time before she has 'impulse control' (at around 8 years of age & even then, not 100%)

you can talk to her & explain why it was not a good thing to do, they understand more than you give them credit for, but don't expect her to be able to apply it across the board.

It is never a good idea to leave a toddler unsupervised in a house! While you are feeding the baby, sit the toddler beside you on the sofa and read them a story, sing nursery rhymes m, or watch something on tv or online together. That way you can keep an eye on them. It’s not the toddler’s fault if they were let loose to wreak havoc, and they don’t know any better.

Like everyone else says, you have to put everything breakable out of reach of toddlers, and keep an eye even if you are feeding the baby.
There's not much point in telling her off if it's a while after the event, but you can make it clear that she is not to touch certain things ever, and that you are sad it's broken.
What got broken? Hope it's nothing irreplaceable.

Thanks all. Think I just reacted quickly and badly. She is 2.5 and it wasn't on purpose but I've told her not to wipe her face on things. A lipstick had fallen on the floor, she proceeded to put it all over her face and then wiped it all over my expensive sweater. Definitely replaceable but I always feel like she's marking her territory. Drinking my drinks and touching all my things. Normally I don't care, but this time I do.

I couldn't see her because I was on the bed and she was crouched behind the next to me crib. I appreciate those saying to have her next to me but she doesn't sit still so easier said than done.

Will stop buying anything expensive and keep make up in a locked drawer. How does anyone manage to keep a nice house with small children!? Or should I just expect to not until they are much, much older?

She is not marking her territory, and that is a really strange comment. I think you should seek help for your mental health.

I always feel like she's marking her territory. Drinking my drinks and touching all my things

This is a really weird thing to say. She's a toddler. She's just curious about the world and investigating things- perhaps she's seen you put lipstick on before and wants to be like you. No way for such a littlie to know that eg drawing with crayon on paper is good but drawing with lipstick on a jumper is bad.

There's no need to stop buying nice things or lock stuff in drawers, just supervise her better.

Oh dear. I do not think she's marking her territory touching your drinks and your stuff.

She's only little and a lipstick to her is just so appealing to smear over her wee face. She wouldn't understand wiping it on your sweater either.

Tbh you sound overly annoyed with her and a wee bit stressed. Take it easy on her. And yourself x

Oh god, I can feel your pain!
this is why I put my silk scarves / nice jumpers / decent jewellery away for a few years I’m afraid. I’ve had favourite vases smashed, puncture smashed, a flower spike picked off a houseplant (that really got to me and I cried!)

Will stop buying anything expensive and keep make up in a locked drawer. How does anyone manage to keep a nice house with small children!? Or should I just expect to not until they are much, much older?

This. Get used to it. Things will get broken or damaged or stained, she's just a toddler. I'd wait until the baby is at least five. Lock everything down.

She's not marking her territory she just wants what you have.

That is a really odd way of thinking about your child, it’s a bit concerning.
Plus I doubt she had any idea how much your expensive jumper actually cost.

I am thank you @HandScreen and obviously that's not quite what I mean. I'm not amazing with words!

Anyway, I'm over it now. Just don't get how some people manage to have lovely things and toddlers yet I can't (a lot has been broken but this is the only time I've really cared) I feel like I must be going wrong somewhere!

Will have a big tidy up and make sure nothing is in reach

This is totally normal toddler behaviour. They want to explore everything with their hands/mouths and even more so if it is something they see you using. If you don't want them to touch you have to keep it out of reach.