Someone else’s child - how would you feel?

[excitednerves]

Parent A and parent B have crossed paths a few times, been chatting and exchanged numbers. They have similar(ish) aged children. After a couple of meet ups, it becomes clear that parent A’s child (age 2) has some developmental issues - doesn’t talk, doesn’t respond to being told to stay close or to come back etc, very active and constantly on the move.

If you were parent B (assuming parent A and B like each other) what would you think? That parent A should have told you / explained about their child? That the child seems like a bit of hard work and probably isn’t worth catching up in future? Doesn’t matter if you like parent A?

Maybe you can work out which parent I am but I’m interested in how you’d feel?

I work four days a week so I don't get loads of time with my 2 year old so for me it would depend on how well the kids got on. If the developmental delay meant that the kids didn't interact well, I probably wouldn't pursue the friendship.

I’d potentially think they were a normal 2 year old. Some don’t talk, getting a 2 year old to do what you want is hit and miss and they can be on the go all the time.
So I’m not sure what parent A would say.
I prefer to meet up in parks, soft play or similar so being active wouldn’t bother me.

You're parent A aren't you?

I hope so otherwise what I'm about to say is going to make you cross. 😁
Parent B is a twat.

@SnakeRabbitMouse

Parent A doesn't owe Parent B anything. Parent B sounds like a horrible, judgemental dick.

This 100%

it becomes clear that parent A’s child (age 2) has some developmental issues

That the child seems like a bit of hard work and probably isn’t worth catching up in future?

This makes parent B sound like a massive twat tbh.

Sounds like very normal 2 yr old behaviour.

Why should A explain anything to anyone? I'd B thinks they should, or have an issue, they are a dick.

My two year old was a mover rather than a talker. If my friend thought I needed to warn them about him I'd think they were a proper twat.

Yes - parent A owes parent B nothing. Why should they need to explain about their child?

Either the parents get along and the children can play independently (even separate rooms or areas of the park), or the children get along. The adults shouldn’t be parenting each other’s children at all.

Has parent B said these things to parent A?

This is hilarious 😆

What’s parent B’s take on this? Because I’m assuming you’re parent A and I’m also guessing parent B might see things differently.

@pompomsgalore

Has parent B said these things to parent A?

That's what I was about to ask

@MattyGroves

I work four days a week so I don't get loads of time with my 2 year old so for me it would depend on how well the kids got on. If the developmental delay meant that the kids didn't interact well, I probably wouldn't pursue the friendship.

This is why all the other parents in our NCT group ditched us when my DS became a toddler. Imagine how that felt.

Wow. If I liked someone I wouldn't give a shit if their child was well developed or not. I'd say everybody in this world is different and that's what makes everybody special. My youngest daughter has special needs and I wouldn't for one moment explain it to a so called friend before she met her if it didn't come up in conversation. If someone had a problem with it I'd swiftly tell them to fuck off and get some kindness

Parent B is a massive bellend.

Child A sounds like mine at 2, was a running joke that she needed walking more than the dog does. Couldn't talk because she wouldn't slow down enough to form words properly. She's a pretty normal average child.

It doesn't sound that unusual for some 2 year olds and kids that age don't really play with each other anyway. I wouldn't expect anyone to 'explain' about their child and I'd think someone was a dick if they judged mine.

I'm the parent with the child with a disability and if parents B said or even thought that I'd not want to spend time with them anyway because I don't like spending my time with horrible people.

The 2 year old sounds fine to me anyway. My NT 3 year old is very active and does as she pleases.

Luckily my friends and childrens friends are not twats and still meet up with us and invite us places.

@MattyGroves

I work four days a week so I don't get loads of time with my 2 year old so for me it would depend on how well the kids got on. If the developmental delay meant that the kids didn't interact well, I probably wouldn't pursue the friendship.

And this is how parents of children with SN end up so isolated.

Parent B is a judgemental ignorant tool.

@picketingpanic don't worry you don't want to spend time with people like @MattyGroves anyway. Lucky escape for you.

Child may just not talk in front of strangers - it’s very common, every else sounds within the range of normal. But no parent A doesn’t have to explain anything about their child. It maybe that Parent B has decided actually they don’t like Parent A after all or Parent B may just be really busy or ha e all sorts of stuff going on in their life.

@MattyGroves

I work four days a week so I don't get loads of time with my 2 year old so for me it would depend on how well the kids got on. If the developmental delay meant that the kids didn't interact well, I probably wouldn't pursue the friendship.

Don’t you want your child mixing with a child that has a disability?