3yo saying he's hungry - what's the fair thing to do?

[PerspicaciousGreen]

Our 3yo frequently complains that he's hungry, and I don't know whether it's fair to not give him anything and make him wait, or whether we're being mean.

7.30am he has a cup of milk then gets dressed and has breakfast around 8am - usually porridge, sometimes toast.

10.30am is snack time, usually a banana but sometimes has an apple or similar instead.

12.15pm is lunchtime. This is our main meal of the day, something cooked and filling. Curry, pasta, rice and stir-fry... Then they both have a nap.

4.30pm is the little ones dinner which is usually something on toast or picky bits as they're very erratic about how much they eat at that time so it's easier to do something cold so they can either have a little bit or we can keep it coming as necessary.

Problem is, 3yo has started saying he's hungry at other times. Often having had three spoons of porridge and then saying he's hungry half an hour after we've cleared away. Or saying he's finished dinner and ready for his bath and then the second he's in his pyjamas he says he's hungry. I just end up thinking "Well you should have thought of that half an hour ago!" But I don't know if that's a reasonable thought to have about a 3yo. If he wakes up from his nap hungry we do tend to give him a little something then.

If dinner is 4.30pm, when is bedtime?
There seems to be a lot of food packed into a short space of time in the morning and then a big gap in the afternoon.
Does he have food before bed?

If you are at home I'd put him back up at the table and give him something a bit boring.

When he's a bit older you can say 'don't worry, it's lunchtime in twenty minutes' or 'me too, we are having sausages for dinner. Shall we go and peel the potatoes'. You don't have to be immediately attending to his hunger, it's OK to be hungry.

Make sure he isn't thirsty when he says he's hungry though as it's easy to mix them up.

I agree - it seems very unbalanced. IF he doesn't have much of a 'picky' tea, he doesn't have anything between 12.15 and 8am the nexxt morning?

I think I'd be giving a healthy snack a bit earlier in the afternoon and then something more substantial at about 5.30.

Does he have mil before bed?

4.30 for last food? I'd definetly offer a small bowl of porridge or similar before bed.

With breakfast, reduce the portion of porridge (if he doesn't often finish it), then do a plate of toast/cut fruit to pick at after it which can be left for him to pick at.

I always encourage my 2 to finish breakfast. They've not eaten in over 12 hours, so should manage a bowl of porridge or toast. If they say they're hungry after that, offer the banana, or fruit. Mine still like the organix baby rice cakes so can have those if hungry. Other than that, there's nit much time between meals to get hungry, with a nap between lunch and an early dinner.

Weetabix ir something equally boring before bed if still hungry? Make sure they gave something filling at dinner time - scrambled/boiled eggs? Chicken or cold sausage etc if having a picnic dinner.

At 10.30 I would give an apple along with something more filling and definitely supper half hour before bedtime

It seems like you're packing a lot of food into a short space of time. That way, he might be full when you are giving it to him as he's just eaten a couple of hours before but then refuses food meaning he's hungry later on.

8am is quite late for breakfast too. What time is he waking, and what time is bed time?

I sometimes found when mine were little if they got too hungry, they just wouldn't eat.

Little ones are using up lots of energy running around, and are growing rapidly too. They do need a lot of calories.

4.30 is early for dinner, and if that’s not a substantial meal then it’s not really surprising that it takes more than just porridge to fill him up the next morning.

I’d move the main meal to dinner time, and have it a little later so that you have time for an afternoon snack too. I think it’s more usual to have a snack in between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner, rather than the way you’re doing it now.

Gosh, my 3 year old and 4 year old are eating constantly! Makes me think maybe I'm doing something wrong!

I'm not one for feeding children every time they look at you, but there's a huge gap between substantial lunch and breakfast there, particularly if they don't eat much at tea time. I agree with pps - add a supper. Something really easy, cereal or toast, after bath but before bed.

I'd amp up that morning snack to have some protein or calories in it, an apple's not much.

We've always had the main meal in the early evening - maybe 5/5.30pm when they were younger. Breakfast, lunch, dinner with snacks in between if required

My children don’t stop
They don’t walk anywhere - they run
They don’t see a tree without climbing it
They’re on a three day all day multi sports camp this week

So I look at what you write and mine would be utterly starving. They’re like runner beans.

Breakfast
Porridge with almonds stirred through, yoghurt and fruit salad
Or scrambled egg on toast and fruit salad

Lunch
Things like - Thick Chicken soup and toast / cheese and ham toasties / lots of sushi
Served with carrots / cucumbers and houmous
Followed by fruit and yoghurt

Mid afternoon snack of big handful of nuts and a milk shake or left over Easter egg

Dinner
Spag Bol / roast chicken etc. Loads of veg and protein
Berries and yoghurt
Or granola and yogurt

Primary

If he’s constantly on the move - I just don’t think that’s enough

At 3yo mine would have cereal and fruit or yoghurt for breakfast, a snack mid morning (carrot sticks or similar), lunch at 12.30 (omelette or wrap, veggies, cheese, yoghurt etc), dinner at 4.30 (a warmed portion of my leftovers from dinner the night before), then a small portion of porridge before bed.

Are you clearing meals away too quickly? It takes my 3 yr old ages to eat a meal - she'll slowly pick at it for 45 mins. I think your also missing an afternoon snack in there. Something at 2pm maybe?

It's not enough. Offer porridge or wheatabix at brekkie and some fruit in the side.
Where's pudding? Where's a biscuit?

Poor boy

My 19m old gas dinner at nursery at 4pm when he comes home he plays, we start bath at 6 in PJ's by 6.30 and I bring him up cosy milk and a supper maybe pieces of omelette or toast with butter.

I have a 3 yr old (&3 older DC who had same meal plan below) and her meals look like this .

7.30- cereal and yogurt & sometimes fruit .

10am (on weekends) fruit snack and a biscuit (at school they have a piece of fruit and cup of mik)

12 pm - lunch- often a sandwich, fruit/salad, crisps.

2.30 Biscuit /cucumber/ peppers.

4pm As above.

5.30 Dinner- Homemade meat & veg meal or a few nights a week freezer food ( chips, fishfingers, pizza ect)

pudding 6 pm- Icecream/icelolly/cake and custard. ( if they finish their dinner!)

Bed is around 7.30-8pm.

Drinks throughout day.

I know the ages are very different but my 18 month olds has

Milk on waking
Weetabix and toast 8am
Fruit snack 10am
Lunch (but hot meal and dessert) 12pm
Snack on waking (flapjack or something) 2.30
Dinner (another hot meal and dessert) 4.30
Small supper (eg half a hot cross bun) 6pm
Bed 7pm

He is on the move at the moment so perhaps needs more. Do you offer desserts with your meals (doesn't need to be more than fruit or yoghurt)

Ooh, interesting thoughts about the balance of food. He's a typical toddler in that sometimes he'll eat twice as much as me and sometimes he'll survive on half a bite of air all day. So yes, if he didn't eat any dinner he'd have nothing between 12.15pm and 8am the next day, but then sometimes he manages a whole day running around on a single bite of food at each meal so I don't really know what to think about that!

But we have to have lunch at 12.15pm for them to nap at 1pm, and I can't not give them a morning snack, so I can't see how the food can't be bunched up like that.

Dinner is 4.30pm because we want the baby in bed at 6pm and him in bed at 6.30/7pm and working backwards it has to be then. It usually takes 45 mins, sometimes an hour. I wonder if we should think about a bedtime snack, though (much as I loathe the idea of more Things To Do at bedtime). No milk at bedtime - they have it when they wake up.

What age would you expect them to "plan" their eating, then? As in, have an awareness of how long it is til the next meal and eat accordingly, so if they're hungry it's their own fault? It does annoy me if he's had half a bite of breakfast then says he's hungry - I do tend to tell him he's got to wait til snack time.

I think some variety would help for breakfast. Plain porridge gets very dull.

I'd be hungry if my last meal was 4:30. A simple super like boiled or scrambled egg before bed would help.

That doesn’t sound like enough food to me, but I have 3 children that eat a lot more than what you’ve described, including my 3 year old (and none of them are overweight).

Can you not give less at lunch and a larger dinner? Your 3 year old isn't going to nap for much longer, mine had stopped before then.

Bedtime seems really early too, that will also change over time

And a 3 year old definitely can’t plan their eating and it absolutely is not their own fault they’re hungry - thats 100% on you.