Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My mum injured my son

558 replies

KevinTheBird · 27/01/2021 21:01

NC’d as this is outing.

My dm is a lovely woman 99% of the time - generous, funny, kind and just a great mum. But she has an incredible temper - growing up we were always walking on eggshells as anything seemed to set her off. She was never massively physically abusive, the odd push or slap, it was mostly saying absolutely horrendous things or leaving us behind and pretending to go home. She once left my brother and I at a station for an hour and was then furious when she came back as a policeman was trying to calm us down. Afterwards she would point blank deny these things had happened.

It probably only happened 1-2 times a year but it certainly made for a weird atmosphere growing up. My mum and dad divorced 15 years ago and since then there has been no hint of this behaviour whatsoever. I now have dc, we live in the same town as my dm and are bubbled with her.

I’ve never left my dc alone with my dm properly- always been in the same house/ place although not directly supervising as her temper has always been at the back of my mind.

Today we were at her house. I was feeling unwell so she said for me to have a nap and she’d look after dc. I did this then 20 minutes later woke up to the sound of dc2 screaming. I ran downstairs, saw my DM’s face and a smashed picture and immediately got dc in car and took them home without saying anything to my dm.

Dc1 said Dc2 had thrown a cushion which had knocked a photo off the wall and smashed and my dm had told him he was a fucking idiot. I asked dc2 if he was ok, he nodded but was obviously shocked which I wasn’t surprised about as he’d never seen my dm like that before.

It was only when I got him out of the car that I realised he was holding his hand tightly and covered in blood. He has about a 2 inch, deep gash across his hand. He said my dm hit him with the smashed frame and it cut him. I’ve patched him up, I don’t think he needs stitches but it’s really nasty.

I messaged dm with a photo saying ‘you cut dc’s hand when you hit him’. She just replied ‘I don’t remember doing that. He shouldn’t have trashed my house’. I was too upset to send anything back but she messaged about an hour later asking if we wanted to go to the park tomorrow.

I’m so sad for my dc, it’s such a nasty cut. I’m so angry with myself for not protecting him when I knew she could do this and I’m so sad that my dm is still doing this all this time later. If she’d apologised, admitted she’d done something wrong, shown some concern for dc I might understand. But she has never apologised for anything and never will.

I don’t know what to do. We’ve been going round there everyday to do schoolwork. It’s not fair and I’m just so bloody angry with her.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
toocold54 · 28/01/2021 21:39

Yeah unless there’s a massive coincidence here, I think I’m from the same small town as OP and know who her Mum is. A couple of details in previous posts ever so slightly changed but it would be pretty weird if the lady I’m thinking of is not the one.

This is true.
It may also not be that person but people maybe thinking the same as you and could think they know who it is. Which might mean they pull their toddlers out without needing to.

Nanny0gg · 28/01/2021 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nanny0gg · 28/01/2021 21:42

I'm glad you've told them.

Now you need to work on you. Have you ever had any counselling regarding the way you were brought up?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

BobbidyBob · 28/01/2021 21:43

@toocold54

Yeah unless there’s a massive coincidence here, I think I’m from the same small town as OP and know who her Mum is. A couple of details in previous posts ever so slightly changed but it would be pretty weird if the lady I’m thinking of is not the one.

This is true.
It may also not be that person but people maybe thinking the same as you and could think they know who it is. Which might mean they pull their toddlers out without needing to.

Yes, absolutely.
BlowDryRat · 28/01/2021 21:48

Well done OP. You've done exactly the right things even though they're really hard.

RootyT00t · 28/01/2021 21:49

@toocold54

I would ask them to delete your post at 13:19 as it could be quite obvious who your mum is to someone who knows her . Hope your son gets well soon and your mum gets some help for her anger issues

Would you be saying this if this was a man?

They have a long history of abuse and then attacked a 5 year older - not a spank on the bum but was hit with a glass photo frame, and can’t see what they’ve done is wrong and won’t even apologise and claim it was a mistake/accident.

I would hate to think my older DCs are in a school with someone like that let alone little toddlers who can’t communicate what is happening properly.

Not everything is about sexism.

Maybe OP doesn't fancy this splashed in th daily mail.

Imagine.

OrangutanLibrarianGivesAnOok · 28/01/2021 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Quotes a deleted post

saraclara · 28/01/2021 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

saraclara · 28/01/2021 21:55

@OrangutanLibrarianGivesAnOok that's EXACTLY the sort of dangerous action that I'm talking about. Please don't even think of telling people to do such a thing.

BobbidyBob · 28/01/2021 21:56

@OrangutanLibrarianGivesAnOok don’t be fucking ridiculous.

Cyw2018 · 28/01/2021 22:03

I think people are being very harsh towards OP. She has suffered a childhood of gaslighting, her opening paragraph makes that pretty clear. She will not be looking at her mother objectively like the rest of us.

She has also had a hell of a shock and is currently trying to process everything that has gone on this week and throughout her childhood, hence posting here. She seems to be taking all the right steps, maybe not as quickly as some might like, but she is getting there.

fuckedandbombed · 28/01/2021 22:14

Op . Ffs this is a massive safeguarding issue . She cannot be around those children again.

I had abusive parents. The day it showed with my children present was the day I cut them off for good .

Been over 20 years now no contact.
Your mother assaulted your 5 year old but yku dj t think you can cut contact ? I hope social services get involved then because you're not keeping them safe are you ?

I'd have fucking decked her . Grow a pair and protect your 5 year old fgs .

He needs seeing at a&e . And you need to step up .

fuckedandbombed · 28/01/2021 22:22

Sorry didn't read the f*ing thread

But if you've told a&e they will have contacted police and social services.

That's good - it's out of your hands now . Well done for taking him to get checked .

saraclara · 28/01/2021 22:22

@fuckedandbombed

Op . Ffs this is a massive safeguarding issue . She cannot be around those children again.

I had abusive parents. The day it showed with my children present was the day I cut them off for good .

Been over 20 years now no contact.
Your mother assaulted your 5 year old but yku dj t think you can cut contact ? I hope social services get involved then because you're not keeping them safe are you ?

I'd have fucking decked her . Grow a pair and protect your 5 year old fgs .

He needs seeing at a&e . And you need to step up .

How about reading the thread?
saraclara · 28/01/2021 22:23

Sorry @fuckedandbombed. Simulposted.

RootyT00t · 28/01/2021 22:31

@fuckedandbombed

Sorry didn't read the f*ing thread

But if you've told a&e they will have contacted police and social services.

That's good - it's out of your hands now . Well done for taking him to get checked .

Are you going to apologise to OP for your precious outrageous post then? Wind your neck in.
saraclara · 28/01/2021 22:34

@RootyT00t. She did. The clue is in the word 'sorry'. Also she praised OP for her actions.

RootyT00t · 28/01/2021 22:34

[quote saraclara]@RootyT00t. She did. The clue is in the word 'sorry'. Also she praised OP for her actions.[/quote]
The original post was pretty brutal though!

oatmilk4breakfast · 28/01/2021 22:48

Well done @KevinTheBird I came back to check as was so disturbed by your post yesterday and a bit worried about you and your son. Strange as we are total strangers! You are handling it brilliantly. Must be so tough.

RootyT00t · 28/01/2021 23:08

@Arobase

As has been stated, It's pointless telling OP to go to the police: it's the word of a 5 year old against an adult's. They won't be able to do anything.
Please don't give advice like that.
FourDecades · 28/01/2021 23:21

@KevinTheBird - how are your boys? Have they spoken about it anymore?

fuckedandbombed · 28/01/2021 23:26

No I'm not goi g to apologise. Because what I said is true. It's great op did the right thing.
But a 5 year old boy has been injured requiring hospital treatment at the hands of this "lovely " woman . I deal with this shit all the time . I'm not unsympathetic- but no . I'm not the one should be apologetic for letting my 5 year old get cut with glass by an enraged woman in a position of trust old enough to know better . I'd have fucking decked her . Clearly op has restraint or a misplaced sense of loyalty. And either way - that's 2 children - one of which is 5 years old at risk. Not me that should be apologising. I put up with years of abuse - the day I saw my children were at risk was the day I cut contact. Funnily enough I now work in this area .

ElectraBlue · 28/01/2021 23:32

''She was never massively physically abusive, the odd push or slap, it was mostly saying absolutely horrendous things or leaving us behind and pretending to go home. ''

The above was already abusive behaviour...

I would never let my child anywhere near that woman and I would cut contact. In fact I would report the incident to the police.

Redruby2020 · 28/01/2021 23:43

@fuckedandbombed

No I'm not goi g to apologise. Because what I said is true. It's great op did the right thing. But a 5 year old boy has been injured requiring hospital treatment at the hands of this "lovely " woman . I deal with this shit all the time . I'm not unsympathetic- but no . I'm not the one should be apologetic for letting my 5 year old get cut with glass by an enraged woman in a position of trust old enough to know better . I'd have fucking decked her . Clearly op has restraint or a misplaced sense of loyalty. And either way - that's 2 children - one of which is 5 years old at risk. Not me that should be apologising. I put up with years of abuse - the day I saw my children were at risk was the day I cut contact. Funnily enough I now work in this area .
Absolutely! I was the same with my DC, when shit was going on around/in front of them I knew it was the end!
RootyT00t · 28/01/2021 23:58

@fuckedandbombed

No I'm not goi g to apologise. Because what I said is true. It's great op did the right thing. But a 5 year old boy has been injured requiring hospital treatment at the hands of this "lovely " woman . I deal with this shit all the time . I'm not unsympathetic- but no . I'm not the one should be apologetic for letting my 5 year old get cut with glass by an enraged woman in a position of trust old enough to know better . I'd have fucking decked her . Clearly op has restraint or a misplaced sense of loyalty. And either way - that's 2 children - one of which is 5 years old at risk. Not me that should be apologising. I put up with years of abuse - the day I saw my children were at risk was the day I cut contact. Funnily enough I now work in this area .
As I see you've been a victim of abuse I'm saying nothing but I don't think your original post was fair.