Teacher grab

[hibijibi15]

Hello, just wondering, does anyone know whether a primary school teacher is allowed to grab a child to stop him from running if he won't listen?

Depends. If the child was about to run into a dangerous situation, or running to hurt someone else. I would want a teacher to grab my child and hold th back if they were about to do something dangerous.

If the child is in danger or endangering another student yes otherwise no.

Yes to stop danger - this would include leaving the class

I would think so, as long as they aren't specifically trying to hurt the child, which is unlikely. I imagine they would do so to either remove the child from danger or to calm them when words won't work, both of which seem reasonable to me personally.

Teachers are trained by Team Teach or similar, so should have the skills to de-escalate a situation without contact, but are also trained to, safely and proportionately, physically hold a child if they are in danger or endangering another child.

I wouldn't hesitate to grab a child, if it was necessary to their safety. Primary school teachers do occasionally need to touch children, contrary to popular belief. It's the nature of the beast

That doesn't involve 'grabbing' by the way. And not for not listening.

What happened? Did your child tell you this? Or did you see it? Did the teacher tell you?

Apparently, it was to nip things in the bud before they all started doing the same thing. Thing is she said (parents evening last Friday) to me he has issues with his emotions because he screamed at her when she did this (don't touch me). At home he is really happy and never kicks off or screams. I have heard other parents moaning about her. I know that there are two boys in his class whose mothers would hit the roof if she touched their sons. I want to make sure things are fair, I don't want my boy to suffer for me being seen as a soft touch.

I think homeschooling might be the best option here, for everyone.

So, your son was misbehaving, running around, and wouldn't stop when he was told to?

What do you expect the teacher to do if he won't listen? Just let him run around? Would you be OK with your son's education being disrupted by another child ignoring the teacher and bombing about riling everyone up?

Of course she had to grab him! Your son needs to learn to do as he's told, and to accept the consequences of not doing so.

The same thing as what?

How other people do or do not behave should have no impact if it’s an appropriate what for you to behave. ‘Hitting the roof’ is not an appropriate way to behave towards your child’s teacher. If you have a concern then you need to discuss it calmly with them.

In that case it sounds like the teacher made the right decision at the time. Just because a child behaves one way at home does not mean they are the same in school. Perhaps work with the teacher to help him manage emotions etc, which will help everyone involved, most importantly it will help your child.

Thanks, it's really helpful to get some perspective. The teacher herself told me things are difficult at the moment as they are not paying for replacements if an assistant is off ill. My son had two incidents (split lip and cut finger) last week alone. He is very active, teacher seems to finally be able to admit this!

Ohalrightthen you sound really arsey. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT haha I was just asking for some perspective and didn't specify my expectations. I have been trying to explain to this teacher that he is a handful and won't listen, for the last year. Last year she wouldn't help me at all, every morning her attention went to the same mother whos son is fine, a mother with a huge family and all the help she could need. A month after having some lung removed and then chemotherapy I then split up with their father last summer, who now refuses to see them, two really lively boys, really stressed every morning getting them to school because they won't listen, and she was just making out they wouldn't listen because I was stressed for no reason. Now she is seeing that even if you are fully equipped, they won't listen. Everyone all this time has been telling me they are perfectly normal. I don't find it normal that they are incapable of listening. It is very very difficult. I know poeple will say that it is normal for kids not to listen. Other people will say it is not normal.

I desperately need help to get them to listen to me but I don't know how to address it.

I'm not arsey, I'm just fed up of people expecting teachers to have magic powers and/or put up with appalling behaviour. As a parent, it is your job to parent. As a teacher, it is her job to teach.

Your situation sounds really tough, but it sounds like she responded appropriately in the situation. If you think your children need assessment, can you ask to speak to the SENCO?

Yes, hitting the roof will help him enormously. It'll teach him that he can behave how he likes in school without consequence. If he's acting up, you should be supporting the teacher, not undermining them. And quit listening to other parents.

She listed about five of them in the class who are all extremely active. Just starting to sound like it's maybe not a safe place to be if they are missing staff. But to keep them at home, on my own, would be so hard!

How old is your child? Also, I wouldn't be judging another mother, you have no idea what she might be going through, just as others might have no idea what you are going through. They may see your son and think"mum can't control him, ffs, disrupting the whole class", wouldn't that hurt your feelings, that they're judging you?

The teacher has a whole class to look after. You've said "he's a handful, and won't listen". What do you expect her to do, then? Have you sat down with her and discussed any sort of behavioural plan? Asked what the process is in that situation? Because she can't just let one kid be disruptive, which by what you've said and what you've described he is being. We had a kid in our class who was similar, the child ended up having to be removed from the class regularly for the sake of his classmates and so the child himself could get help, does his school offer emotional help? Behavioral help? Etc. When you say "the teacher wouldn't help me at all", what do you mean by that?

If you say it "isn't normal", have you taken them to the GP/tried to arrange doctoral assessment?

Legally teachers can physically intervene to prevent children hurting themselves, others, damaging property or to keep classroom order.

If you struggle to manage him at home then of course the teacher is going to find him challenging if she has to split her attention multiple ways.
She can't let them run wild in the classroom, it isn't safe.

Do you think he has some additional needs?

“Really lively boys”.....is that code for arseholes?
Have they been assessed by professionals?
I really wouldn’t be so quick to judge the teacher here.

OP, this doesn't sound like it's really about the teacher grabbing your son. You sound at the end of your rope. Do you think your children have undiagnosed SEN?

You need to try and work with the teacher to get this resolved. Please don't waste your energy thinking about how much she has been supporting the other family that you mentioned, there might have been very good reasons for that that you don't know about. This is about you and your dc getting the help that you need. Is it worth trying to document their behaviour at home and then asking for a meeting with the school to see if there is a consistent pattern? In many ways, it's a good thing if the teacher encounters some issues with your dc, so that they can observe the challenging behaviour directly.

Hang in there, and keep pushing for the help that you need, but remember that you and the school need to be on the same side - don't make enemies of them.

I blooming DO parent, that is ALL I do! They are two very motivated happy extremely clever lively boys, they are interested and ahead in every activity at school because I do so many things with them and bundle them with so much love. But I am not managing to discipline them, nothing works. I am not undermining the teacher. Please tell me how you got that impression? There are other parents whose children I am sure she just would not dare to grab. I am the opposite and that is why I want to make sure that if something is not going well, it isn't going to be my son who suffers becaus all the other parents have support networks AND are much more assertive and I don't.

Op your posts are conflicting. You tell us at home he is happy. Never screams, then tell us he’s a handful, you need help.

Look you’re doing your son no favour by stepping in and complaining about this.

The teachers job is in school. It is not her job to support you with managing him at home. You’re looking for help in the wrong place. However on saying that you can ask thr school to refer you if you think your son has additional needs. In addition you can speak to your gp explain that you’re struggling with the kids snd are unable to control them, that they don’t listen to you. It seems they have been through a tough time, and ,any need additional support in the form of counselling. Their father has abandoned them, their mother got ill.

Why are they in school at the moment, OP. Are you a key worker, or have they been identified as vulnerable?