Teacher grab

[hibijibi15]

Hello, just wondering, does anyone know whether a primary school teacher is allowed to grab a child to stop him from running if he won't listen?

Op, there's some great advice amongst all this from @corythatwas, it might be there is a hidden SN aspect, lots of us have had children who have gone misdiagnosed for years & years. Having a diagnosis doesn't often change that much anyway, it is still about behaviour strategies, and finding what works for you. So if verbal instructions don't seem to work try visual timetables, getting ready for school charts or other techniques, there's lots of info online for dyspraxic/autistic children that work well even if there are no SN? I'd also look into getting yourself some help, you've been through a lot, hope you figure things out.

And no OP I'm not a troll, I've been on here for a long time. Query it with mn if you are don't believe me.

Hi OP, it sounds like you have been given alot of praise for your boys, and the odd bringing your attention to not listening at school, which worries you because you are concerned there could be some sen, but everyone is doubting that so it leaves you confused. The thing is, it probably is quite common behaviour at such young ages, 4 and 6, to have the odd outburst at school. It could be related to sen, but usually unless the signs are very obvious, then it can be hard to recognise. Quite often, if there are still issues around 8, then schools will start to mention assessing but they need to build up a bigger picture first, rather than get turned away and told it's just normal for their age. It might be normal right now, but in a couple of years, the other kids will have improved their concentration and listening, where as your kids if they have sen, might not. And that is when people will start believing your concerns more. For now, you could perhaps look up tips to help children with whatever you suspect your children might have, and see if any of them help. I have 4 boys, and when 2 of them got together at the age of 4 and 6 then it would be difficult to diffuse situations and get them to calm and listen, so yes it really can be quite common.... And exhausting! Sounds like you are doing a great job though and just need some reassurance and perhaps strategies to help with them not listening or paying attention to get dressed etc. Try routine flash cards, timers, divide and conquer... Get 1 child sorted at a time and then focus on the other, rewards for whatever part they struggle with the most that bothers you.
Good luck, hopefully you can just keep an eye, educate yourself on what to look out for and keep notes for any Dr's or sen appointments

I know you're not a troll but you are doing my nut in rather.
I don't care about how long people have been anywhere really, doesn't ever make anyone right.
You can't 'make' something sound worse than what it is by sticking to the facts and I know you don't know me but manipulation is not my game.

Anonon12, JJJ12thanks so much for your understanding. Really helpful response. They are buzzing all the time, it's impossible to get through, and not just due to me lacking in whatever may be being suggested! It's so reassuring to hear someone who understands what I am trying to explain thankyou. There is never a moment where they are apart, I have no family, relatives, neighbours to take them for an instant, my lovely childminder became too ill to work at the same time I was ill and hasn't worked since.
You're right, whether there were ever to be any kind of diagnosis doesn't matter now, what I need is tips such as you have given me which are useful in any case.
JJ4 andCorythatwas who said similar things also thanks for your support and kindness and help.

Oops messed up last reply, meant to mention JJJ4, and coreythatwas and missed one off and got the other name wrong then put it at the end. It's because I'm supposed to be getting my boy out of the bath, I'm writing too quickly which is also what makes me sound nutty at times

Could you perhaps afford an au-pair to stay with you to help out, bit of company for you too? I count down the hours till my partner gets home, I would need some sort of support if on my own. Or perhaps another childminder, even if it was just for 1 afternoon a week to start with?

I would speak to the school and ask for an Early Help Assessment OP

Thanks for the ideas, they are really helpful. Unfortunately I don't have room for an au pair, as lovely as it is here we only have two bedrooms. Childminder yes that would be good, I will have to try and look for one tomorrow. I live rurally and they are really thin on the ground here.
The EHA sounds ideal too but I'm not in the UK.

I suggested this to the teacher but she just has been telling me they are normal(even my childminder who knows the teacher told her that they were perhaps a bit 'atypical' and the teacher just made out to the childminder (who was wonderful and with 30 + years experience) that the childminder just wasn't dealing with it correctly).

Childminder yes that would be good, I will have to try and look for one tomorrow.

I thought you had a childminder that had spoke to the teacher?

Oh no, am I contradicting myself again? Madness I tell ye.

I know here is another thing which doesn't happen, but my childminder (mentioned fiveish replies previously) was overcome with painful arthritis a week after my lung cancer diagnosis and hasn't worked since.

Who said it didn't happen? But yes you did contradict yourself yet again.

Right lets address this. I contradicted what here?

Good job you are in a glass case

The kids used to go to the childminder occasionally before they started school.
The teachers kids used to go to the same childminder.
The childminder told the teacher my son was stubborn and perhaps gifted. The teacher said 'nah you'll see'
The eldest started school.
I got ill.
The childminder got ill.
My second son started school.
Are you okay?
Next time you don't understand something, ask, instead of accusing the other person of contradicting themselves.

Are you having a laugh or are you really not ok?

I don't think you can help me.
Find someone else to be weird at.

I am absolutely fine thanks OP. It's you that keeps contradicting things you have said, adding in new information at every turn. It's all very strange. Perhaps you're just not great at communicating what you mean, hence why I asked ifbthere May be a language barrier earlier but according to you there isn't so its just the way you write that's very confusing.
Anyway good luck, I hope you can get the help you need. There seems to be quite a few issues you need to work on and get help with, so I hope you get that.

I'm definitely not the one who has been weird here.

Tell me what I contradicted, write it down. What is your mother tongue? Please get help for yourself, you are suspicious and paranoid.

Please get help for yourself, you are suspicious and paranoid

This is the advice you should be giving yourself.
One minute you say you can't control your children, they don't listen, they zone out, they are "active" (code for wild), then you say they are the most lovely boys in the whole world, everyone thinks so, teachers tell you your parenting skills are amazing, (although you admit you cant get them to do a thing they are told) and they are amazing, if anything they ate too clever, but previously you say your ds will be getting "extra time" with his reading meaning he needs extra help.
You're paranoid about people talking about your children. Make out like teachers are giving out personal information about your child yo friends, when actually your friend asked how they were getting on (strange question to ask, unless she was concerned about them) and the teacher said they are fine and lovely boys. You are going to "deal with that apparently". Cant see what you have to deal with.

I speak English. What is yours? You live in France so French or something else?

I AM weird aint no denial here and it is exhausting but it is all true!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO he's not even four yet LOL, read the post. He's way ahead.

It is hard to get their attention to listen yes but I never said they don't listen to A THING I say.

They ARE lively, which is not a code for anything.

They are ALSO lovely.

Do you not believe the two things can co exist?

You are the one who is contradicing yourself, and projecting YOUR issues on to me. You twist things around and make assumptions and build on them.

I am not worried about my friend talking to my teacher but it annoyed me because why should she have information about how it's going at school, when I never got this info myself. I told you my friend is interfering and controlling. I gave you examples.

English is my mother tongue and I speak fluent French.

You are a nightmare!!!

You have just been out to try and disprove everything I say since the outset. What are you trying to do on this post? What is your point?

Tell me a bit about yourself please because you too are absolutely unbelievable.

It is understandable for someone (my friend) to worry about children when they have had so much upheaval (so I don't know what you are insinuating) BUT it is one step too far to ask about MY children with THEIR teacher. Shes sees them often and knows exactly how they are. Whether they were saying positive things, or negative things, it is not my friends place to discuss my children with their teacher, she saw being controlling once again.

Ok OP. Hopefully you find some help for you and your children.
I'm not trying to disprove anything, just pointing out your inconsistencies throughout this thread.
I'm surprised English is your first language, your other threads have been a bit confusing too. They way you write is very disjointed, but obviously there could be other reasons for that.
Anyway hope all goes well for you.

You have never corrected yourself when I have proven that such and such was not a contradiction. I can't believe how many instances there have been. You said three things never happen which did.
You said I hadn't mentioned something which I had.
You said I contradicted myslef about the childminder which I didn't.
I think that you should apologise

Actually with regards to the childminder, I pointed out you mentioned you had one.

Apologies? You are being even more ridiculous now. You telling me again and again that those things were said by a teacher isn't going to make me believe that they were. Teachers don't tell parents their hidden are "too clever". Too clever for what exactly? To behave? Too clever for the school work?