My MIL bit my son

[Yorkymidge]

Hi, looking for some advice.

I’ve had to go back to work and had to work away last night, so i left my son (17 months) at my MIL’s as my mum is ill and shielding. Me and my MIL have a very on-off relationship, which i have kept to myself and not let that colour my son’s relationship, or my partners with her. She has always had equal rights in comparison to my mum. We haven’t seen my parents since before lockdown, and only seen her once last weekend because i knew he was going to have to stay with her last night. So bare in mind apart from that, he hasn’t seen her in a long time. When i picked him up this afternoon, she told me he’d bit her in anger (very rarely bites) so she’d bitten him back, so he smacked her so she smacked him back and kept smacking him when he stopped smacking her. I’m not an over-protective parent but i’m livid. At the time, i didn’t say anything, i just stared at her because i thought my partner had heard, turns out he didn’t because it was loud. But now i wish i had, i’m so mad. Is my vision just coloured or do i have a right to be mad? I feel like if i wouldn’t do it as his mum, then nobody should. He’s a very switched on little boy and knows when he’s done wrong, he knows to say sorry and give cuddles and kisses and is generally well behaved. I’m stuck with how to take this.

TIA.

That's 'her way', is it?

In that case, I would - quite seriously - tell her that that's fine, in that case, you're going to be reporting her assault on your child to the police. For his own protection, as she's basically said that that's the way she does things so he's at risk of being bitten again. And she can explain to the police that it's all fine, and biting a toddler is perfectly acceptable behaviour from granny and not a physical assault at all.

Then watch her backtrack so fast you won't have even the time to say 'So right, you're clearly aware that what you did IS assault, then?'

@fizzygreenwater best response. If a child walked up to a strange adult and bit them, and the adult bit back they'd absolutely be guilty of assault. But the grandmother does it and it's ok because it's generational? Bullshit. Unless that grandmother has lived in a vacuum or deliberately ignored the news for the past 40 years, they know damn well it's not acceptable any more.