my MIL slapped my child + told me

[hermykne]

they were spoilt.
not in material goods but in how i treat them.

its one day later and i am still quite hurt about her saying this to me and for slapping ds. DD got very upset when she did it to ds.
i was out food shopping.

basically she said a good sla p would stop the antics of a nearly 5 and 3 yr old.

i feel i can withdraw or send her a note, as a friend suggested. not good face to face.

that is awful - totally unacceptable behaviour
what does your DH think?
TBH if that was my MIL treating my kids like that she wouldn't be seeing us for a loooooooooooong time
you must confront her, by letter if that feels better to you, but your DH must also back you up so she knows you both find this unacceptable

is this the first time she has done this BTW?

How dare she. Have to admit I'd be crap at handling it as well but she'd never look after them again for me or be on her own with them. Thing is she's done it once, unless you say something she'll think it's ok to do it again

yes 1st time, and 1st time she minded my ds in her house in the daytime since he was born.

hermykne - the fact that she told you makes me think, she thinks it is ok
1st time she has looked after them - i guess it may be the last

I wouldn't leave them with her again. If she asked why, I'd tell her.

How awful for you. Agree something needs to be said and your dh needs to back up.

My in laws had my son when he was 8 months old overnight, we found out that they had consumed a couple of bottles of wine, so they never had him again, I did tell them why eventually, but only after 4 years.

OMG!!

I would not be crap at handling this! She slapped your child ffs!

He only has you to stand up for him, so do so!

What did you say at the time, when she told you she slapped him?

My fil called ds a bad boy last Sunday & I picked him up & left their house! I don't know how I would have handled anyone slapping him.

nobody has the right to smack your children. you must say something to her-even if its by letter or maybe your DH can say it in person.

i would also tell my child that being smacked was unacceptable too and show him you are acting on it so he knows it was wrong.

havnt told dh yet, hes away at work. home later.

cowardice
i think i was in shock when she told me as in the smae breath she said they were spoilt, i think i didnt know which way to look.
i got upset really and i had to go as i had an appt with someone so it was a quick exit really.

ok thanks guys, she has a knack of making one feel inferior, so i will send her a note.

shes supposed to be coming for dinner this evening! so that ll be cancelled

regardless of your views on whether kids should be slapped or not, NOBODY should slap children other than their parents. I would be very about this. And its up to you how you parent your children, not your MIL, she should keep her opinions to herself too!

You have the upper hand. You have the grandchildren. I'd withdraw them completely from her company, not see her, not speak to her, and send her a note telling her why.
My parents can be verbally strict with my children which makes me very angry tbh but both of mine are old enough to understand that grandma and grandpa do love them, they just happen to have been born in, as ll says, The Middle Ages, and have a different perspective. Not the same as hitting them of course, which would never happen. So and for you hermykne

LL so do i

just going to get organised and a meeting a ds s new nursery so ill check in later, thanks for the replies.

Ok, she should not have slapped without making sure you were ok with it. But you have to let grandparents have their own relationship with their grandchildren. What is she supposed to do if you kids are being really rude and disobedient? she has to be able to discipline them or your kids are going to take her for a ride..

cowardice I think that is an awful reaction from you. Don't you think you are being a tad too precious here.

What happens if you kids are really naughty and rude when with their grandparents?
Do you expect them to put up with it?
I allow my MIL to give a light smack if she wants. The children must know that she is different from me and that she has different rules and boundaries.

Whilst it is my job as a mother to keep my children safe, I do not own them nor do I own rights over the reactions of relatives to them. If someone called anyone of my kids, naughty or bad, that's hardly a criminal offense is it? A light smack isn't a problem either.

I agree with fio.

If its my family, I deal, if its his, DH does.

IT was completely unacceptable and he needs to speak to her.