Calling all Asian Mums/ South London

[SANA]

Hi,

I am expecing my first child in Feb 05 and as most of my friends dont have children really looking to get to know mums close to me for general chit chat & poss meet ups. My ethnic background is Indian although I was born in the UK and work in the city & am looking to go back to work after maternity leave.

Any one out there with a similar background?

hey guys! sorry i havent been in touch, i meant to say happy b'day to h.a.!!!!so glad you had a lovely time!dd has been ill here so we have been busy she had an allergic rxn to a formula i started here and we had to take her to casualty, then she had her first fever and a cold. now she is recovering and happy so i feel better too. i am taking it one day at a time tho. hope you guys are well and i am looking fwd to seeing you guys too and catching up. x

How awful for you, Ananyamum! I'm so glad she's doing ok. It must have been quite frightening for you. Poor little thing (I mean dd not you, though poor you too!).
How are you guys getting on now?
What will you be up to for xmas?
Dh is cooking again this year. We'll have my family (well, those still in the country!) and pils around for the day.

thanks sai. i know it was really scary. and dh isnt here. thank goodness she is better now and my parents were (and are) are huge help. my sister is here too so it is great, we havent been together like this for a long time and it is nice cause we dont know when we will next get together again like this so we are really enjoying every second. so you are having your family and pil over?? how are you going with them? i miss your rants! how lovely that dh is cooking, what is he making this time? i hope you have a good stress free time. hello to jay and paula btw!

Helloooo!
Had the pils round all afternoon today. We saw them last on Sun, so it wasn't too bad.
Dh and I were both invited out by friends tonight but I can't go .
They're all in a nice restaurant as we speak. It would be nice if pils could be useful sometimes and babysit but, alas, tis not meant to be.
Dh is thinking beef for Christmas. Or duck. He hasn'nt decided yet.(Turkey is not very popular in our family)
How about you? How do the people celebrate over there, if at all?

hi everyone, hope you don't mind if i join this thread
I'm a first time mum with a 12 wk old dd. I started a thread for pakistani mums in solihull (near birmingham) but no asian has replied....is there no one out there??!!
Finding it kind of tough going as on my own with dh (who is prone to panic when dd is crying)

hello all,

hi and welcome lil miracle! Of course you are most welcome to join. yes , the first few weeks with the bubs is a real testing time for mums, sometimes everything is like a military opperation, even going for a walk. Keep at it, you are just getting use to bubs and vice versa, im sure you doing great! hi sai , and ananya mum. So sry to hear your lil one been ill , i hope shes ok. Formula milk can be so dodgy, h. a is having a real rough time at the mo, since he been ill aswell, he just wants the mummy dudoo.Looming exams and stress of moving is getting to me , guess better just get on with it all. Any way , hope we can all catch up soon, i cant wait for you to come back a.mum, and see the lil one in her party clothes, chat soon
xxxx

Hello all.
Of course we don't mind you joining LM, you're very welcome. We're all a friendly bunch. You'll find this site is very friendly (mostly!) and really helpful.
I've got a lot of good advice from people everywhere on this site and it has really helped me when I've found it tough going (And I've made 2 very good friends )
I've got an 8m little boy and its true, it does get easier!
Have you got a moving date yet, Ameli?
Poor H.A. for being ill. My little munchkin is ill too and has totally lost his voice. He's on mute and I occasionally hear this little squeak or a croak and see him looking at me as if to say 'wheres my voice? whats going on?'.Feel so sorry for him
How are you getting on AM? How is dd doing?
Do you all do Christmas presents for your little ones?
I'm not really bothered but dh wants to get him some pressies. Any excuse to spoil him!

Thanks ladies

I'm originally from Scotland and moved here (solihull)5 yrs ago after getting married.
I spent the first 6 wks after birth with my family and found it quite strange and tiring doing everything on my own.
Question: did anyone else get pressure from family to introduce formula as well as breast feeding right from the word go?

lil miracle,

i have breastfed my son for just over 1 year now and have found that it has reall bothered some people, comments like oooh theres no need for doing it that long etc. Just ignore them and do what you feel is right.

I've only bf ds.
I didn't get pressure to introduce formula but people did say that I should 'in case of emergencies'. I just ignored them and think that you just deal with emergencies if and when.
I did get pressure from mil to give water from birth but I ignored her too.
Formula suits some people and their situation so you should do what you think is best.
I take it you got pressure?

hello everyone, and esp to littlemiracle, lovely to have you on board. dd is ok thanks ameli and sai. she has had her fevers, and in the beginning i thght i would die or worry but then you get on with it dont you like anything esle. she is on the mend i reckon. the weather in kuwait is awful, apparently all kids are coming down with viruses. and i thght it wld be hard for her to be in england for this time of yr. and so sorry to hear abt your dss. poor little things. i hope they get well really quick. (how grt is calpol?) i am so glad i have my mum around, i hope the two of you are ok. hug to you ameli, with exams and moving you sound stressed. which area did you decide to move to btw? little miracle, i got a lot of pressure to start formula cause it took me a few weeks to really get the hang of breast feeding and a lot of people thought the baby wasnt getting enough as a result. i knew i wanted to persevere though so i did. and if baby's weight is ok then you know you are giving them enough, that is the only thing i looked at. after abt 3 months i also gave dd a bottle or two of expressed milk a day. you have to do what feels good to you and the baby and just do it. i am now coming up to six months and would love to go a year like you guys but with work i will have to stop. but finding the right formula seems to be a nightmare. i never thght she wld be allergic. does anyone know a good hypoallergenic formula to start on? anyway what abt you little miracle, are you breast feeding now?

hi all,

should be moving end of feb! clayhall, ananyamum, around the corner from sai,lol. lil miracle, one thing i have found about breast feeding is that it does become very hard to wean them off the breast. I think that is the reason alot of peeps don't , understandably , want to do it. All the pressure of feeding etc is on mummy, unless like anayamum says you express? with hindsight i think if i have another bubba, i will also get bubs use to formula, maybe at night esp.

hello everyone,

thanks for your replies - i find it really reassuring that you guys are out there. you guys seem to know each other quite well
i got pressure to introduce thebottle from family straight away - partly because having had breast cancer i can only feed form one breast. Oncologist said that this was no problem , but when dd was crying in first couple of wks everyone kept saying ' oh she must be hungry and you're not feding her well enough' or ' your milk cannot be of good quality'
I finally started the bottle at 6 wks but now that dd is 12 wks she's still breast feeding. When she's tired and doesn't want to work at it, she takes the bottle.
I go back to work in April, so do want to wean her off the breast by then. Have tried expressing but only small amounts available.
I'm going home(scotland) for 3 wks in jan and i know there will be people that will say i should stop altogether.

hey everyone,

Hows things, just in the internet cafe, printing some lec notes thought id see whats going on. Lil miracle thats brilliant that you still managed to feed from one breast, sounds like you been through a tough time being ill and everything. I hope you are on the road to recovery now, sounds like you are doing quite well with the breast feeding. Ananya mum, you asked about formula for bubs, to be honest i dont know which one you should try since H.a has gne right off formula. He is still b/feeding at night and now us on cows milk! wooopeeee! Hopefully you find the right one. Bubs still not sleeping, im actually getting use to be sleep depraved now!, anyways mac is taking bubs to bolton for 3 days....so i can study over xmas, i hope he will be ok ,hell miss the mummy milk at night, but hey a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do? pleease reasuure me that im not a crap mummy.....????

Hi everyone.
Wow LM - it must have been tough dealing with the breast cancer. How are you now?
Its brilliant that you still managed to bf dd. I think you deserve praise for that and can do without those kind of comments! Honestly, people can be so insesitive and rude. Just ignore them. If its working ok, just carry on til you can.
Ameli - away from ds for 3 nights! Have you been apart before? You're not a crap mummy at all but you will miss him loads! When are they going?
How are you doing AM?
We are doing ok. Bubs is better now but his routine is all messed up so am working hard to try to get him back into it.

thanks, sai!

neeeded that, why is it that mummies feel guilt for everything they do , even if its right or wrong? im missin him, they left 2day at 3.30pm. I know hs with his dad so should be ok, when he went i could feel a lump in my throat and my eyes started stinging, it was a ver strange feeling. Since then , ive had a sleep, had a long shower and brought myself some hagandaz to numb the pain ....i will start study 2mrw . How are you gus hope you manage to get the routine back again, im sure you willl. Lil r is mr chilled. Although i know its still reall hard wrk for you.. well chat soon and Merry xmas 2 u all, hi to jay and paula 2..xx and of course lil miraclex

Ameli! Are you all by your lonesome this Xmas?
Come over to mine for some food. Dh is cooking enough to feed an army(well a family of Pathans, anyway!)Seriously, if you want a break from your study just let me know. Send me a text.
I was in your area earlier today - had to go to an emergency dentist as my wisdom tooth flared up. Its so painful and I need antibiotics to clear it up. Good timing. Am def getting them removed asap.
So how many times have you phoned to check up on ds???!!Of course he's fine. He's with his dad and family I'm sure you have no need to worry about him. He'll prob totally forget about his duddoo over the short time he's away too. Will be good.
Little one is doing ok. He's a bit out of synch on his afternoon naps still but sleeping ok at night(still getting up 2x)
Hope everyone else is doing ok.

oh, thanks sai ,

thats really nice of you. Two major problems,one , no buses, two taxi will cost me a fortune if i ever get one! thanx for the invitation anyway. Everyone has been so sweet, another friend of mine invited me for xmas dinner as well, similar transport problem. Think i just need to focus focus, on revision.sai, you know ive stopped the duddo, well you should bloody seem (my lady lumps i mean), jordon eat your heart out! they have swollen up with the mummy duddooo. and OWCH!! boy does it hurt, what do i do, i have turned into duddo storage facility, threatening to burst under pressure!

oh sorry to rave in about self,. Hope your dental pain eases up, there is nothing orse than tooth ache over xmas. big hug 2 you and r!

worse, lol

hello how are you all? LM, you have been thru so much and i cant believe people still say this to you. i had a lot of 'she isnt full, you are probably not producing enough' but to say it is not good quality is crzy. you are amazing to persevere. ameli, ds is probably back now and you are having a lovely time you re not a bad mum, you are mad to think it. it is hard to stay away though, i am trying to give dd a few hours away from me each day to get her ready for nursery, and the grin she gives me when i get back in unreal. it makes me never want to leave again! good luck with your revison. sai, hope your teeth are better, and ameli is right, your ds is mr chilled, so sweetly behaved! dd is ok now, finally recovered from her cold, just finished a weeks antibiotics today, thank god! and she is sleeping through the night last few days, i am keeping my fingers crossed. hope you guys are all well. xx

hello ananyamum

glad to hear dd is getting better, formulas can be really dodgy sometimes. DS is on the way back home, i am so excited about seeing him. Its's brilliant that sshe is sleeping through, im so pleased for you..h.a slept through last night at in laws , am gobsmacked by this. sometimes they just do it when mums around. I hope ypu are ok sai and Lil M.

hello everyone,
Ameli, you're not a crappy mum but i know how you feel and i think you've done brilliantly
I remember the second night in hospital when dd was crying all night - i asked the midwives to take her so i could sleep for an hour. I woke up in tears about 2 hrs later and huggged and kissed her when they returned her to me ( i also apologised to her - not that she knew what i was saying!)
i'm going to scotland for 3 wks after new year and my older sister wants to have dd for a weekend - i've said yes but i know it's going to kill me inside to be separated frm her.
Dh says i'm too attached to dd but i can't help it- this is the baby that docs said I might not have been able to have
As for formula milk - why does it smell so much? Surely thats not good?! My dd is on aptamil but i'm thinking of changing it... any suggestions?
Sai, wisdom teeth are nothing but bother - i've had 3 taken out....maybe thats why i lack wisdom........

hello all

in the library, supposed to be studying. Well decided need break, well my gorgeous bubbba is back, and he has comp changed. for the good (mashallah) eating like a trooper, pooing like a trooper and sleeping allright. And he off the mummy duddu, ive decided im gna buy some sexy bras, as my reward for after exams. Thanx everyone for your support! sometimes im just a worrier! Hows the teeth sai? hope not to painful, lil miracle, ehta about cow and gate? try it might be she like it better than aptimal? lil.m where abouts do you live in scotland? my friend lives in aberdeen, shes always on at me to visit, but i havnt, might go dwn in summer . My friend speaks with a scotish accent, which i find really cool as she is pakistani. ananya mum hope your well back to wrk for you in jan eh? oooh, do you feel ok bout it, me im goin back on the 3rd jan , just another hassle.

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing well.
AM - you must be chuffed to bits that dd is sleeping through! I can't get ds to sleep through at all. He is getting up even more frequently now. 5 times last night but I'm wondering if there is some teething going on.
Ameli - so how much did you miss ds?? Its great that things have turned out so well. What a result! You seemed to have got everything sorted out now. You deserve your sexy bra's (Don't forget the knickers as it aint sexy unless its matching!). How was your little one without you?
LM - Your little one is around 12 weeks? I don't see how you can be too attached to them when they're that young. And even more so if she is a miracle baby. You seem to have been through a lot. We all know that the time goes so fast and they're all growing so quickly - enjoy every single minute.
My teeth are fine now, thanks everyone. I am definitely having them out asap.
We had a really lovely time over Xmas. Dh did really well with the food and everyone was v.impressed.
Is anyone doing anything tonight?
We're just having a quiet one and probably go out tomorrow.
Happy New Year everyone!