Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My partner won't let me see my family this Christmas

222 replies

AliceCherry · 10/12/2018 08:00

So, my parents have invited myself, my OH, and my LO (6 months old) over on Christmas day this year, (they only live 20 mins away). I would love this. I ADORE spending time with them, plus the idea of not cooking for a day is just bliss to me! My partner however, has said no because he can't stand being around my parents for more than 2 hours. I said that we could drive back early, or only spend a few hours there, but he's declined. He's said that my LO and I can go, and he'll stay at home alone, but obviously that's not an option.

I accepted this at first, thinking that maybe he just wanted a quiet Christmas with the three of us, the first ever! I could get on board with that. But that doesn't appear to be the case.

I looked at our calender this morning, and he's just filled the festive period with trips out with his side of the family for us. Like seriously, we're at his sister's on 20th, his brothers on 21st, his dad's on 22nd, 23rd and 24th, his mum's on the 26th and 27th, and NYE. He's not even asked me. It's just been assumed that I'll drive us around the county all Christmas, (he doesn't drive).

What REALLY hurt though was that he decided yesterday that we'd be having Christmas with his mum and her OH. They're coming to ours apparently, so I guess I'll be in the kitchen all day.

I don't begrudge his family any time with my DS. I really like them and we all have such a good relationship. Plus, it's so so wonderful that my LO has so many family members around and I'm truly grateful for that! It's more than a lot of people have.

I just don't want my side of the family to be left with the dregs... They do so much for us, and they treat my OH like a son. I feel like I never see them anymore, and it's really getting me down.

In general we see his family every weekend. On the flip side though since having my LO, I can think of one Saturday where we've spent the afternoon with my parents, and my OH sulked for the whole time, and barely said two words to them. If I'm lucky I can snatch a couple of hours every other week or so where I see them alone with my DS if my OH is working. That's it though.

Talking to my partner about this will lead to arguments and I don't want a bad atmosphere around my son. What can I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bastardkitty · 11/12/2018 19:04

Love your update OP. Stay strong. No wonder you feel relieved.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 11/12/2018 19:12

You might not have any financial ties to him, but he still needs to support your child (assuming the lazy fucker manages to keep down a job)

greenlanes · 11/12/2018 19:26

Coming to say abusive. So did so many others. Well done for realising it. But yes watch his family. They have effectively supported his isolating tactics over the years.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

KeepingEveryoneSafe · 11/12/2018 19:50

Wow I'm in awe of you op!

Take it from someone who knows that family, especially a loving family like you have op, is to be treasured because once they are gone that's it no redo's!

As for your ex, well you are clearly better off without him.
I was so worried reading through but so happy to see you stand up for yourself & your son! Thanks

jessstan2 · 11/12/2018 20:00

Well done that girl! Proud of you. Enjoy your freedom - don't let the man back into your life.

I was wondering why he is so anti your parents, it seemed irrational. However that doesn't matter now. You can do your own thing.

FlowersWine

cushioncovers · 11/12/2018 20:28

Well done op glad you've made a clean break. Don't get soft in a day or two and end back where you started though.

gonzo77 · 11/12/2018 20:31

Fantastic news. If you feel yourself waivering come back. We'll remind you how strong you really are.

Have a fabulous Christmas without the worry of his disapproval.

mummmy2017 · 11/12/2018 20:34

Happy Xmas Alice..
Your blooming amazing...

AFistfulofDolores1 · 11/12/2018 20:45

A very (very, very) Happy Christmas!

Flowers
Evidencebased · 11/12/2018 20:46

@Alice Cherry
Wow. You go girl! Standing ovation!

Hope your Christmas is wonderful!

Ps. Pls write down now what you think of his behaviour - cause when he comes worming his way back in, chances are he'll become Prince Charming himself. A truly changed man.
But you know better. The leopard doesn't change it's spots.

Bunnymumma · 11/12/2018 21:31

YES! So many congratulations on the start of the rest of your happiness!

bullyingadvice2017 · 11/12/2018 22:26

Well done op. Fantastic that your not tied to him. Run for the bloody hills and don't look back

Annasgirl · 11/12/2018 22:32

Well done OP. I can’t believe how you just went and did it, sometimes these threads go in for ages with people trying to gain the courage to leave - you are an inspiration. Another one wishing you an amazing Christmas with your family.

MsJaneAusten · 11/12/2018 22:42

Wow. Merry Christmas! Stay strong !

FamilyOfAliens · 11/12/2018 23:37

Well done OP. I can’t believe how you just went and did it

Neither can I.

justilou1 · 11/12/2018 23:58

WOW! That took an unexpected turn! You're a strong woman! What a merry, liberated Christmas you're going to have!

SemperIdem · 12/12/2018 00:05

I’ve read all the thread. From your first post I thought “abusive, leave him, please him” and then I’ve seen the course of action you’ve taken!

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas with your baby and your family. No controlling fuckwits needed. Stay confident in your brave actions x

giftsonthebrain · 12/12/2018 00:09

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

HouseworkIsASin10 · 12/12/2018 13:21

I genuinely, hand-on-my-heart don't miss him, which blows my mind. I think I'd just had enough.

Remember the relief you are feeling now, if you ever start to question your decision.

HermioneWeasley · 12/12/2018 13:27

Great news OP - have a brilliant Xmas!

justilou1 · 14/12/2018 12:16

How are you going, OP? Are you still happy?

FloofenHoofen · 14/12/2018 13:15

I admire your ability to stay strong and stay happy.
Good luck with it all, and I hope you have a fab Christmas xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page