' Chronic overparenting'......is it something MNers recognize ?

[mozhe]

...and by that I mean the persistent/long term/almost obsessive preoccupation with providing ' perfection' for their DCs....

Do you think this is something you are prone to ?

Is it more likely to occur in parents of first/only children ?

More likely in previously high achieving SAHMS ?

And what do you understand by the term ' benign neglect ' ?

roffle at pissing on floor and eating woodlice!!!

not me mp... i'm clinging on here to the (v) bitter end.....

It wasn't a personal criticism of Anna,( I barely remember what I said tbh it was most probably at least partially said tongue in cheek....)I have no idea what sort of parent Anna REALLY is though have my doubts about the petit bateau vests/Neuilly life style etc but heigh ho....
However I AM interested in how parenting styles have changed in the last 20 years or so and ' over parenting ' styles are certainly aparent in folk who then go on to have problems..( both kids and parents...).
She however did attack me personally in a very virulent/unkind way....no apologies from her.
She IS strangely attractive though....
I wouldn' like to fall out with her...

err, haven't you noticed... you already have (fallen out with her that is). big time.

off now to do some tedious sahm type things.
despite my brave words i've had it with this thread.

enjoy.

Nooo...I never fall out with anybody....She has been v.helpful on french lycees around world on another thread.....
Stay and discuss...
Benign neglect is less harmful perhaps than overparenting ?

mozhe - why oh why do you think I live in Neuilly?

I don't, I hate the place, I don't live that lifestyle and I am forever criticising it on MN.. where on earth did you get the idea that I live it?

If you are going to criticise people, at least get your facts right

mp, the interesting point in what you just wrote to me is whether it might damage their mental health for you to be so concerned about their mental health, if you see what I mean.

Perhaps making the children a smaller proportion of our lives and preoccupation would be better as I'm sure always was the case (even rich Victorian parents would only really want to see the children for an hour at bed time - something many working parents today are content with too - it's a nice reasonable balance of time) - we live a life and we have and love children and they slot into it but the being a parent is not really a job is one view.

Oh FGS.

The children of victorian parents fought the first world war and wiped out a whole generation of young men.

Not really an enormous success in terms of parenting, is it?

Another view is that affection and close intimate relationships are critical for mental health.

In early life, that affection and those close intimate relationships come from parental care.

And on the Victorian thing of seeing children for an hour at bedtime only - that was part and parcel of the boarding school culture. Which, Xenia, you don't like...

lol at 2breastfeeding group" Sounds like a bundle of laughs

Is a breastfeeding group worse than a "weaning-food cooking class"?
Coz I went to one of those...
(ALthough to be fair I was roped into it by accident...)

Aah i remember the weaning food class - went along to one and was told not to give the baby brazil nuts lol

Reminds me of that William book where he gets lumbered with a baby for some reason and when an old lady asks him what he gives the child for breakfast, he says "chops".

lol

Actually, breastfeeding group means she sits on the floor and fights with other children for toys, and I have tea and biscuits provided for me. If I didn't have to go out to get there I'd call it staff. Or possibly slavery.

Have yet to mention breastfeeding while there. ..

Haven't read all the replies, but what in the name of God is 'chronic over parenting'? It sounds like a personality disorder for whch there should be an 'Anonymous' group.

'Hello, my name is Love Angel and...I'm a Chronic Over Parent-er...' (sentimental applause all round!).

Overparenting to me is never letting them get dirty, or rather thay are afraid to do something in case they get dirty, or not letting them climb trees/rocks on the beach in case they hurt themselves.