' Chronic overparenting'......is it something MNers recognize ?

[mozhe]

...and by that I mean the persistent/long term/almost obsessive preoccupation with providing ' perfection' for their DCs....

Do you think this is something you are prone to ?

Is it more likely to occur in parents of first/only children ?

More likely in previously high achieving SAHMS ?

And what do you understand by the term ' benign neglect ' ?

Try looking in your rear view mirror - you may be surprised

Mozhe - since you just love giving other people advice, perhaps I can give you some? Stop burying your head in a book and reading so many novels and take a look at the world around you and what's really going on in people's lives. You'll learn a lot

I don't read many novels,( sadly...), it's mainly work related stuff....Anna, I'm just hazarding a guess ,but think my lifestyle probably brings me into contact with people from many more walks of life than yours in Neuilly,( think that's where you said you lived....)...
Perhaps you should read MORE novels...I recommend ' The End of Alice ' by A.M.Homes..or anything by Houellebecque....Honestly read the Homes, it will be an eye opener to you I'm sure.

God know, I don't live in Neuilly, where on earth did you get that idea? Hate the place.

Have read all of Houellebecq and loathe it.

God no

are you as patronising in real life as you usually are on here mozhe?

Houellebecque

what a weirdo

only blokes like Houellebecque

[wonders...]

I did read a lot of novels in my time (literature degree, first class with distinction) but have rather grown out of them

Mozhe loves pigeonholing SAHMs as brainless people who never go anywhere, do anything or meet anyone.

Which is about as far from my truth as could possibly be.

Recently we had a very interesting dinner with a headhunter who described all the tragic cases of 40-45 year olds who come to her and who, after 20 years in the working world, thought they knew it all. They'd had blinkers on in their workplaces for so long that they no longer could see the world around them...

Mozhe - just read a review of The End of Alice and am curious as to why you would recommend it...

Do you think perhaps that at 41 I have never come across/had to deal with sexual perversion? Or is there another reason? I am truly interested?

yes childish and tiresome book reccs

Enid - like you, I think Houellebecq is for young (immature) men. When I read him I could think of so many ghastly people that I had come across here in Paris/France with similar inner lives... Houellebecq describes the most distastely modern French clichés...

It is a good book, well written that deals with a subject that is often mis-portrayed in the media etc...That is all.
Disagree with your diagnosis of Houellebecque.....plenty of women enjoy him !

But it's also a subject that you come across in real life and have to deal with and by your forties, if you haven't, you must have led an incredibly sheltered life.

I seriously wonder about your choice of literature, given your age... why would a 44 year old psychiatrist find that kind of literature eye-opening? You are just confirming my suspicions that you need to spend some time in the real world...

oh, are you a psych. mozhe?

controlfreaky2 - Mozhe is a psychiatrist and also... a little girl... still trying to win her far-too-busy-mother's affections....

It is refreshing to see this subject dealt with differently....and,( dare I say it..), more positively/constructively.
We psychiatrists vary a lot Anna....sure we don't all look like Freud..you know ! Why woldn't a psychiatrist read a book like this ? I just asked 2 colleagues,( both psychiatrists )...one 56/male/psychoanalytically orientated...the other 27/female/very biological....they both said they would read it....?

...ah Anna...part of all of usis a little girl still.....read the book, let me know what you think....share it around the mothers in Neuilly.....right off to teach now will s check in later to see how you get on ..

oh i didnt know you were a shrink

explains book choice

doesnt really explain dismissive attitude to other human beings though

mozhe - I used to employ psychiatrists, psychologists and psycholanalysts to do field work so I've seen a lot in my time , and their output. There are many, many varieties, but there's a fairly widespread tendency to lack humility

sweetie, you can't boss her into wanting to read it can you now? (and i thought i was the controlfreak!).

ps. patronising tone was deliberate. thought i'd try it on for sze.

controlfreaky2 - I'd rather reread Enid Blyton (to refer to another, very interesting thread)

What is it about psys (all of them) that makes them think they know everything about everyone? And all the different branches fight each other tooth and nail - I once did a research project and the psychiatrists and psychologists couldn't even be told they were working on the same subjects, or they'd have spent their whole time fighting each other rather than doing the work...

'Chronic over-squabbling: is this something MNers recognize?'