Is six children too many ?

[mozhe]

Someone,( a colleague..but I do not know them well ), just stopped me in the corridor at work...noticing I was pregnant they asked me if it was my first, when I told them ,' no, it's my 6th '...they said,' six is too many ', and strod off....Is six too many ?

i couldnt handle anybody staying at my house to 'help out'.if i were rich then i would emply a cook without question,but thats all.

the only help i have (with 5) is a sure-start support worker who comes to help out foe 2 hours every other week.and dp of course.

seriously,though,i thought having somebody basically bring up your kids for you was something the upper classes did over 100 years ago.shows how much i know about how the other half live

employ

I SO agree with Partyclown. When children are under 10 I think thats far easier than the teenage years. Personally what puts me off having loads of children is the fact they turn into teenagers. I love babies and little ones but the thought of having six (or more) teenagers makes me hyperventilate!

Divastrop, yeah, I get 2 hours with a homestart lady who we love to bits, and that's it. TBH, I'd be very reluctant to have too much more than that - I like my home to be my own and I get a bit ansty when people stay for too long.

I'd feel the same as diva...i would feel like i had to tidy before anyone could come in (not that i am a cleaning freak-far from it)..so that would just add to the problems.

A cook however i could deal with...that would be an amazing help!!!!

Tinymum-do you have teenagers now??- i have a 14 year old DD -that isn't too bad at the moment-however the state of her room tells a different story! 1st boy will be 12 in August..and then many more boys close together so lots of them at one time. I have 4 sisters so know what teenage girls can be like but boys are new to me....should i be really panicking???lol

Don't want to ask dp's advice as he was a complete nightmare teenager from what i have heard!!!

So who harder work teenage girls/boys???!!!

WOW WOW what venom - I got well and truly mutilated on a relationship thread yesterday started by someone sleeping with someones elses DH (so got what she deserved IMO) - this poor woman has been insulted and derided for daring to have a good job (which I have no doubt she worked and worksbloody hard for), is married to someone who has equally as good a job and has dared to have 6 children which she can obviously provide for and take care off - which part exactly makes her such a bad person - a lot of class envy going on here and bloody sour taste it leaves as well - TBH my experience of MN so far is not great - bunch of closed knit closed minded old school......

macdoodle, that not really helpful. She got a bit of snark at the beginning of the thread, but that's largely been replaced by a normal conversation.

please, feel free to join in. How many do you have, and have you always had that number in mind?

macdoodle-may i recommend netmums ?

i hope i didnt say anything offensive,i dont envy people with money etc,good on them i say,its just that i live in a working class town and find it interesting how others from different backgrounds live.

just because i wouldnt want somebody to come into my home,doesnt mean i wouldnt seriously consider sending my eldest 2 to boarding school if i had the money

I don't think i did either..

If someone asks for opinions, people will give them.....and they will be differences as we are all different....otherwise it would all be very boring!!

I actually quite like the bitch fests that go on here. I've been on the receiving end of some too!!

macdoodle, mozhe is capable of being a tad venomous herself (albeit in a frightfully well-bred sort of way).

...and having seen her posts elsewhere, I actually think this post would have been more apt if it were titled 'I'm rich and have an enormous family, shitloads of staff AND a fabulous job. Aren't all you little people jealous? I shall be dreadfully offended if you're not!'.

She wasn't ACTUALLY interested in garnering your opinion. I'd put money on it.

You definitely have issues Loveangel.....you sound very angry

Why should we be jealous of Mozhe? She's worked for every thing she has.

That initial set of points of kitty I was about to say I felt applied to me too until it was made a working and stay at home issue, which it isn't.

I find your competence grows the more children you have. So there's an argument that 1 and 2 you actually can quite mess up from in experience and you're only getting into your stride and capable through babies 3, 4, 5 etc. So in fact may be people will small families never get through the training phase as it were... and for the record my competence grew even though I was at work some of the time. Working parents still spend huge amounts of time with their children day in day out, never mind in the night.

tiny.... yes having 3 teenagers close in age has not been fun but they seem to emerge as adults and now sometimes it feels like I have three free live in au pairs for the younger ones which is brilliant....even if it does mean you're always running out of food.

TBH mozhe post sounded nothing like that to me - it sounded like a genuine query from someone who sounded quite hurt by a totally inappropriate question...she clearly works hard for what she has and has strong opinions I have read her posts and none come across in the way you imply - but then what do I know am a newbie and not part of the "inner circle"
Is someone who has 6 kids but doesn't work or contribute a penny to society but feels entitled to benfits housing free health care education etc better in some way than someone who has worked hard for what they have - and trust me it is not easy to be a doctor especially a psychiatrist no one gave her a good job or the money it brings she must have worked hard for it so if she wants 6 kids good on her - TBH too many for me but would not be rude enought to say it is "too many for her"! Why is she gloating and over what the thought of 6 kids makes me feel frankly ill would not swap wih her for all the tea in china

I'm one of six.
But then before us lot my mum worked in a childrens home so six was a small number to her.

Mum seemed to have us in pairs and like xenia says us older ones helped the younger ones so I got a lot of baby practise in on the youngest ones.
I think it has really helped me to be the mum I am today

I want four and will be ignoring anyone who thinks that's too many. (Anyway I'm making up for my brother who doesn't want any.)

but then what do I know am a newbie and not part of the "inner circle"

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Macdoodle, I'm a newbie too. I didn't read the OP in a negative way either, but there we are. People did, there was a bit of a set to, it moved on. Mozhe seems quite able to hold her own on most of the debates I've seen her on.

Am sure she can but just seems a select few who are "entitled" to gang up and say what they want but woe betide anyone else with an opinion

macdoodle, just get stuck in! I can understand you're smarting after that awful, awful thread yesterday and I do want to say I agreed with every word you said.

But don't let that put you off giving an opinion and sticking to it.

Thanks Sue
No intention of going anyway and am quite outspoken not gonna change that
Just find MN very different to other forums I frequent (a lot...)...where newbies are welcomed and new opinions bandied and bickered sometimes vehemently sarcastically even rudely - but here seems very much like a high school canteen (and I hated high school)....select few seem to hold rein (like the high school "cheerleaders")....and have NEVER been told off like naughty child but have had postings deleted or reported it wasn't that that bothered me - justthe whole tone really ??? Oh well not sure what am trying to say and sorry for hijacking mozhe thread ...will wait and see

it does take a while to get into, I think, and it can be a brutal sometimes, but I guess you just find your niche. Come over to the baarrrrr or the Tea shop in the chat section for a rest from the heavy stuff, it's not so knockabout there

/thread hijack

You PAY somebody to bring your kid to be breastfed in the middle of the night and I have issues?

PMSL

• • Excuses self from thread on the grounds that OP is mad as a fish * *

...and macdoodle, you have clearly missed mozhe's hideous threads patronising and insulting women who are SAHMs / part time workers. Look 'em up.