Kids caught "playing doctor" other mum furious

[Isthisnormalfor6yearolds]

So I'm horribly confused & frightened now and not sure what to do. My DC's (DS 6, DD 4) spent the day at my DF's house with her two DD's (also 6 & 4). They've all been friends since they were babies, so we're very excited. When I picked them up, all seemed normal. Well a few hours later, my DF calls and tells me that she caught her eldest DD & my DS in the bathroom touching each other. She said she heard my DS ask her DD to lie down and open her legs, and he touched her vagina. He also had his pants off. Apprantely they were laughing and giggling. (When I asked DS & DD later, DS said friends DD asked him to take his pants down first, DD confirms this, and that the two 4 year olds we're opening the door and thought it was all very funny).

DF finished telling me what happened and said she now has to think of her daughter and that my son is no longer allowed near her, and that we can no longer be friends.

I'm in shock. Part of me thinks, that while inappropriate, this whole thing is nothing more than normal childhood doctor. But her reaction has me looking up psychologists for my DS, who has never done anything like this before, as far as I know!

I've been googling signs of sexual abuse but he doesn't fit any of those.

I'm scared and upset 😟 and I don't know who is overreacting.

She heard that and didn't walk in and stop it immediately?

No she did. She said they were both embarrassed.

Similar happened to a friend

She reported the incident to the child's school.

I’ve read this thread before. With these exact responses too

She reported the incident to the child's school.

What did the school do?

BeesandMist if you have it wasn't by me. I'm seriously freaking out.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your DS, it's normal childhood curiosity, on both sides. DFs just in shock. It'll blow over.

She reported it to her child's school in case the child mentioned the incident in school, because 6 year olds chat! She didn't want school to accuse her of anything.

The other child was taken in to therapy and he had been subject to abuse.

He was invited round a second time and attempted the same thing. Mother had no choice but to end the friendship.

One of my earliest memories is playing Drs with a friend around age 5. I think it’s quite normal for children of that age to be curious about body parts. It’s obviously not appropriate though. You have to have an honest discussion with your kids explaining that their body is private and not to be touched by their friends in certain areas. I feel for you, but your friend is overreacting.

Please read this OP & maybe forward it to your friend. One parents over reaction is another parent’s complete non issue. I dont think your child needs to see a psychologist. Perhaps just a firm word with both children is needed.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/healthy-sexual-behaviour-children-young-people/

She made it out like my son is some kind of rapist! We are supposed to all go to a party at a mutual friends this weekend, but I've cancelled because God only knows what she's telling them he did.

The two kids are best friends, DS will be so upset never seeing her again, he won't understand

Don't cancel the party, it will look like you have something to hide. Carry on as normal.

One of my earliest memories is playing Drs with a friend around age 5. I think it’s quite normal for children of that age to be curious about body parts. It’s obviously not appropriate though. You have to have an honest discussion with your kids explaining that their body is private and not to be touched by their friends in certain areas. I feel for you, but your friend is overreacting.

I remember similar at that age as well, and thought it normal. We of course have explained these things to both DC, but kids are kids and curious.

I caught her DD kissing him on the lips at Christmas, i said only adults do that, and to wait till they were older.

Dont overreact to her overreaction!

Oh ffs. Normal child behaviour. Tell him not to do it again - the PANTS rule is great - and move on. It’s not sinister, it’s just exploration. And I say that as someone who works in child safeguarding.

DS said friends DD asked him to take his pants down first, DD confirms this

You need to tell your friend this, or else she will blame your DS for it all.

Your friend is quite ignorant and prudish. This is normal in children that age. Tell her to look up the stages of psychosexual development.

It’s not sinister, it’s just exploration. And I say that as someone who works in child safeguarding.

Thank you. That makes me feel a bit better.

I think what they did is really normal. Maybe it’s triggering for her, or she’s got the fear because child abuse is on the media all the time now.
Don’t be worried about your son, they were giggling and exploring by the sounds of it.

You need to tell your friend this, or else she will blame your DS for it all.

She said on the phone before I had a chance to speak to DS that she's sure he will have another story, but she knows what she heard. She makes him sound like a monster! He's 6!

It is not normal for 6 yos , they should have got past the you show me yours and I’ll show you mine stage . That said I wouldn’t not go to events where you may bump into her as both dc are the same age so it’s not a case of your older child encouraging a younger child to participate . You do need to have another chat about appropriate behaviour with your dc though .

It’s normal, OP x

It is not normal for 6 yos , they should have got past the you show me yours and I’ll show you mine stage

In the nicest possible way - bollocks.

I had a similar situation with a friend, DC were 6 like yours and very similar, friend went up to tell her DS to come down to go home and caught them.

I think both me and DF were a bit shocked on what to say but we both spoke seperatley to our DC as to what happened and it all sounded v innocent and just curious children.

Do you think maybe your DF is a bit embarassed/shocked at the moment? Maybe just text her to say you are sorry this has come between your friendship and that its normal curiosity so hope you can move on from this?

She's very OTT and there is nothing "wrong" with your little boy!

Do you think maybe your DF is a bit embarassed/shocked at the moment?

Thing is she called me to make this proclamation hours after the fact and had already told her DD that she was never going to see my DS again. It doesn't seem like shock.