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Parenting

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Kids caught "playing doctor" other mum furious

233 replies

Isthisnormalfor6yearolds · 13/05/2018 18:58

So I'm horribly confused & frightened now and not sure what to do. My DC's (DS 6, DD 4) spent the day at my DF's house with her two DD's (also 6 & 4). They've all been friends since they were babies, so we're very excited. When I picked them up, all seemed normal. Well a few hours later, my DF calls and tells me that she caught her eldest DD & my DS in the bathroom touching each other. She said she heard my DS ask her DD to lie down and open her legs, and he touched her vagina. He also had his pants off. Apprantely they were laughing and giggling. (When I asked DS & DD later, DS said friends DD asked him to take his pants down first, DD confirms this, and that the two 4 year olds we're opening the door and thought it was all very funny).

DF finished telling me what happened and said she now has to think of her daughter and that my son is no longer allowed near her, and that we can no longer be friends.

I'm in shock. Part of me thinks, that while inappropriate, this whole thing is nothing more than normal childhood doctor. But her reaction has me looking up psychologists for my DS, who has never done anything like this before, as far as I know!

I've been googling signs of sexual abuse but he doesn't fit any of those.

I'm scared and upset 😟 and I don't know who is overreacting.

OP posts:
Isthisnormalfor6yearolds · 16/05/2018 15:54

Culturally, if the op reports or raises a concern, she could be sued for defamation of character.

Not just sued, I'd face jail time. I could report to the police or school but right now it would be too obviously me, and if the cops found no evidence, I would go to jail. I will consider calling the police in a few months time when we've been forgotten, but that is all I can do.

OP posts:
lostinsunshine · 16/05/2018 15:56

What I mean is - you may tip them off to look closer at this situation but any investigation would go where it will. How do you go to prison for a tip off?

Notthatwomanagain · 16/05/2018 16:00

Name change fail OP

Can your lawyer not advise you about raising a safeguarding concern?

That poor little girl if it is true

lostinsunshine · 16/05/2018 16:08

Not sure how you go to jail. If you are sued and the other side wins the court determines a fine. Your legal representative can argue your position about paying. This is usually in batches.
Yes, it's not pleasant but it's a long way from jail time. And, taking you to court they would have to show defamation. Which might mean putting their little girl through court experience to prove you made defamatory statements. I just don't see it happening.
I see bad feeling and attempting ostracism as well as destruction of friendships. All pretty horrible. But not jail time.

Isthisnormalfor6yearolds · 16/05/2018 16:18

lostinsunshine I am not in the UK. Defamation is a criminal offence where I live. There isn't an anonymous report option here either. It is sadly very behind.

OP posts:
Isthisnormalfor6yearolds · 16/05/2018 17:31

Not to mention that I have no evidence of sexual abuse other than a hunch and some general signs. Doubt I could even get social services interested in the UK, much less where I am. Maybe of some of the other friends had backed me we could make a case, but right now I have no proof.

OP posts:
lostinsunshine · 16/05/2018 19:26

Very sorry for all concerned here. Never heard of defamation as a criminal offence. Keeping it quiet until it blows over sounds like the least worst option here.

Consandprozac · 16/05/2018 20:56

This all sounds horrific Op

Is there anyone at all that you could flag the dd with? Could you ask your lawyer if there is any way you could go about it?

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