have you pierced your daughters ears?

[Justposting]

Still awaiting baby girls arrival, probably far to early to be thinking about this. Have you pierced your daughters ears? if so at what age do you feel it is appropriate, my sister did her baby at just a few months old. I have a friend who thinks it’s not fair on the child unless they are old enough to ask for it themselves, I am currently in two minds,
What are your thoughts?

While it's considered a bit déclassé in Anglo communities, it's not in others, so fair play.

DD is 7 and has started asking. She's still too young. Maybe at 9, if I feel confident she can look after them herself.

I was 15, back in 1989.

My thought is that you should do it when it is right for your daughter.

It's not a big deal in Asian cultures to get ears pierced at a young age. My daughter asked at age 3 and we agreed.

There is no appropriate age for a baby.

Pain should not be inflicted on a person for the parents vanity. It's barbaric! It should be illegal.

They should make the decision when they are much, much older. When they can understand it will be painful, requires a lot of care for the first few weeks and is a hazard for activities.

It doesn't look cute to me, as many people seem to. I think it looks trashy.

I can’t get worked up about it. All this talk of ‘abuse’ and ‘mutilation’ seems a bit melodramatic to me. My mother had mine done when I was three; it was fine. I wouldn’t object to my dd getting hers done (she’s seven) but she’s not interested because she doesn’t know any children with it done.

I have two daughters and two sons. My daughter's are 4 and 2. They won't be getting their ears pierced till they are old enough to ask and until they are about 8 the answer will be no. I don't understand why people do it- it doesn't even look nice.
I had my ears pierced at 12 and my sister had hers done at 6 and both our gold studs embedded into the ear ( the whole stud was stuck in the hole) during the night and had to be removed by a doctor. So I think it's just unnecessary.

Yes, both of them had them done when they had finished primary school.

"I think people should be aware that there are cultures where this is done routinely and shouldn't be so free with their criticism. "

Does being part of someone's culture make it immune from criticism?

Made a deal with my almost 10 yr old sometime last year that she can have her ears pierced for her next birthday but only if she is able to cut her own toenails (she has been asking for quite a while now). She's a bit squeamish and always had an issue with nail cutting so wanted her to master that to feel a bit more confident that she might be able to cope with the aftercare herself -- it has worked a charm and she trims her nails regularly now.

Dd was 6 and asked for them for ages and ages. My mum made me wait until I was 13 and I really hated that. I’d never get a baby or toddler done.

Secondary school, when they are old enough to care for it themselves and are giving informed consent. I hate seeing it on babies but that’s my culture and background .

mathanxiety I know it is part of other cultures but so is FGM and circumcision. I don't think adults should mess with dc's bodies unless they need to for medical reasons.

I don't think anyone should compare piercing ears with FGM.

It makes FGM look like a fun trip to Claire's and completely ignores the fact that FGM has lifelong health and sexual wellbeing consequences for millions of women including but not limited to completely avoidable death and serious complications during childbirth, whereas piercing ears has no such result.

I don’t like seeing it on tiny baby’s but wouldn’t mind +1yo. Interestingly I read a post on a group I’m in here in the US asking this question and they recommended asking their... wait for it .... paediatrician!! Yes some doctors here do it.

Does being part of someone's culture make it immune from criticism?

Yes, when it is so benign.

You may not like how it looks and you may have qualms about consent or necessity, but it is not going to affect a child the way FGM does, or the refusal to vaccinate.

math you are right they are very different and circumcision is different again. My point is that stating it is part of someone's culture is no kind of reason to accept something without questioning.

What might be fine in Hispanic countries isn’t really fine here though.

Regardless it’s your baby, not everyone will be happy to see a baby with pierced ears. Mine got hers done when she was 7 when she asked to get them done.

When it's a benign thing, questioning a choice that is popular in a certain culture comes across as an assumption of cultural superiority.

Judging from the fact that petitions have been circulated on the matter, I suspect a lot of UK babies get their ears pierced. You may not be happy to see it, but if it does no harm it is as fine as Halloween or rap or any other newer cultural borrowings.

Plenty of people will disagree it's benign. And having an issue with one particular small aspect of someone's cultural practices doesn't imply that there's an overall attitude of superiority.

They can disagree of course, but they have no evidence at all that harm results from it apart from the odd case.

The tone of disgust, the language used to express feelings about the appearance, and the accusation that the practice is not benign are expressions of cultural superiority.

I don't see the need to decorate a baby by sticking holes in its ears just because it's a girl.

What might be fine in Hispanic countries isn’t really fine here though.

Yes it is. Lots of small children where I live (UK) have their ears pierced. It may not be everyone's taste, but it is fine.

Boy babies only get one ear decorated.