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Original poster

have you pierced your daughters ears?

223 replies

Justposting · 22/04/2018 20:45

Still awaiting baby girls arrival, probably far to early to be thinking about this. Have you pierced your daughters ears? if so at what age do you feel it is appropriate, my sister did her baby at just a few months old. I have a friend who thinks it’s not fair on the child unless they are old enough to ask for it themselves, I am currently in two minds,
What are your thoughts?

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Lookatyourwatchnow · 22/04/2018 22:19

I cannot describe how much I hate seeing babies and toddlers with pierced ears. It looks absolutely horrendous, chavvy, and has no benefit whatsoever to the baby. I don't understand why anybody would do this to their very young and unconsenting child.

jorris · 22/04/2018 22:23

i had mine done when i was a baby and it's completely the norm where i live to pierce ears as a baby still now. i don't agree with it at all though and honestly think it's child abuse. just because lots of people do it doesn't mean it's right

Macarena1990 · 22/04/2018 22:28

Eldest DD was 2, youngest is 3 and hasn't had hers done yet.

In DP's culture, all baby girls ears are pierced. I'm not bothered either way.

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Phoenix76 · 22/04/2018 22:52

My dp’s sister happened to be walking past a Claire’s where a baby was having her ears pierced. She said the cries were so distressing she actually cried herself and was affected by it for weeks after. When you’re lucky enough to have a baby, they are SO precious you want to protect them from any unnecessary pain not be the cause of it. Please wait until they understand completely the whole process, babies don’t need ear rings or they’d be born with them, what they do need is a parent who will do the right thing by them, sadly another thing they’re not always born with.

Original poster
Justposting · 22/04/2018 22:54

Just reading over comments some bashing me for even thinking about it before baby is born, I did not in any way say that I would do it when she is a baby, I asked for opinions as there is so much stigma around it with majority against the idea, I know several people who’ve done it in the baby years but also those who won’t do it until the teenage years, I will not pierce baby ears within the first years which is why I asked what age seemed appropriate.

OP posts:
Grasslands · 22/04/2018 22:57

i'd be interested in knowing if the stigma and hate for piercing babies ears is a uk thing. i assume it is common in spain and italy. in my experience lots of little ones in that area have pierced ears.

youngnomore · 22/04/2018 22:58

Phonenix - give me a break 🙄
Done first dd at 2 years old. Second dds at 9 months old. Both cried for literally a second. (Not done in Clare’s )

Celebelly · 22/04/2018 23:01

I think pierced ears on a baby look incredibly cheap and tacky, never mind issues around consent and it being solely for the parent's benefit.

I was 14 before I was allowed to get my ears pierced and I can't say waiting negatively affected my life in any way!

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 22/04/2018 23:07

youngnomore, imagine for just a minute that you're mute. Can't communicate. I'm the person who's caring for you today. Ok, just sit still for a moment while I have this nice young 17yo minimum wage employee girl pierce your nose. Stop shaking your head it'll only hurt for a minute! Wait what? You don't want your nose pierced? But I want you to have it done, because I think it looks pretty and I don't think you're pretty enough without it!

See what I did there?

Cockmagic · 22/04/2018 23:10

My DDS 9.

She can wait til secondary school she at the earliest.

Ketzele · 22/04/2018 23:12

I'm in the MN majority who can't get worked up about babies with pierced ears. Mind, at our primary school the only children with pierced ears are forriners (v middle class school).

Having said which, my dd1 had hers done when she left primary, and dd2 has been told the same. Simply because it's just one more thing to have to attend to and feel guilty about when it goes wrong, and who needs that?

Ketzele · 22/04/2018 23:12

MN majority? Minority, obvs!

mishfish · 22/04/2018 23:12

My eldest daughter is a feral beast at 3. She won’t let me brush her hair or wipe her face- can’t see her sitting still for piercings any time soon. When she asks for it and understands that it may hurt then she can.

My youngest can get hers done when she asks.

Mummyoftwo91 · 22/04/2018 23:13

My daughter is only 3 but she will be waiting a while, she doesn't need jewellery, looks tacky in young children imo

milkysmum · 22/04/2018 23:14

Dd just had hers done age 9 years- I woukd not have considered it younger and think it's pretty vile to get babies ears pierced to be honest.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 22/04/2018 23:16

Dd1 who is 8 not interested which is a shame as they would look pretty but her body her choice.
Dd2 is 5 she's desperate but I think she's too little

Phoenix76 · 22/04/2018 23:18

youngnomore difference in beliefs that’s all.

happymummy12345 · 22/04/2018 23:21

My mum had both mine and my sisters done as soon as we were old enough. If we ever have a daughter I will do the same.
I firmly believe that the younger the better. You don't remember it, you're less likely to fiddle with it and potentially cause infection, and if you've had it since you can remember it's normal to you. (I was told I didn't even cry when I had mine done as a baby).
The majority will say it's child abuse (I saw it on a previous thread). That's a load of shit. It's a million miles from child abuse.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 22/04/2018 23:26

It might not be abuse per se, but it is assault. You might not be criminalised for it (I personally think you should be), but it's puncturing the skin and flesh of someone without their informed consent, for no medically beneficial reason.

youngnomore · 22/04/2018 23:29

Wherethefuck- have you lost your mind ?

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 22/04/2018 23:31

No, thanks, it's quite present. What about you??

Can you see any connection between piercing a baby, and say piercing an adult with learning difficulties or suchlike who was unable to give informed consent? Pretty sure the law would take a dim view of the latter.

gillybeanz · 22/04/2018 23:32

I told my dd to wait until end of primary, she'd been asking since aged 7, but she did lots of dancing and I knew she wouldn't cope with them.

When it came time she didn't want them done, still doesn't at 14.
I'm glad I let her choose for herself when she was old enough.

Aria2015 · 22/04/2018 23:34

I had mine done when I was 3 I remember having it done. I think if I had a daughter I'd wait until she was interested and if that was very young then fine. I wasn't fussed about having my ears pierced but was glad i had when all my friends wanted it done and their parents said no lol!

Aria2015 · 22/04/2018 23:36

Ps. Ear piercing for my mother was a cultural thing where normally girls have them done as babies so I was considered 'late' at 3!

64BooLane · 23/04/2018 00:37

I firmly believe that the younger the better.

You sound like it’s a given that everyone will want pierced ears eventually. It’s totally not, though. Plenty of people, if left to decide for themselves, don’t want them at all.

It seems kind of arrogant to be so “firm” about taking the decision to pierce someone else’s body for them in a purely decorative way, when they’re too young to even comprehend it.