have you pierced your daughters ears?

[Justposting]

Still awaiting baby girls arrival, probably far to early to be thinking about this. Have you pierced your daughters ears? if so at what age do you feel it is appropriate, my sister did her baby at just a few months old. I have a friend who thinks it’s not fair on the child unless they are old enough to ask for it themselves, I am currently in two minds,
What are your thoughts?

You've not even had this baby yet, and this is what you are thinking about ?

This. I loathe seeing babies and toddlers with pierced ears. My daughter decided she wanted hers done when she was 14. After a few months she decided she did't like it and hasn't worn earrings since.

I want my dds to enjoy the rough and tumble of childhood without worrying about earrings or damage to their ears.

They did use to ask until dd1's bf damaged her ears - pulled earring ripped her ear. They don't ask anymore.

I've told my dd she can have them done at 16. If she agitated for them to be done at 14 then that's okay.

I'd like her to have stuff to look forward to instead of getting it all done at an early age.

Obviously not looked forward to the actual piercing.

I think op is smart to ask before her baby is born. I remember I asked a lot of good and not so good questions before my first.
My dd is almost 9 and no interest in getting her ears pierced.

I made DD wait until she was 8 after she started asking.

However oddly it changed my mind completely.

I had always been in the camp of “not until they ask” ..... “not until they are older” ..... and “no way in young kids”.

She did clean them and all was well. They healed wonderfully. But after 8 weeks when she decided to change them, it ended up an all screaming drama! She was terrified of changing them and the original earrings had such tight butterfly backs on them that getting them off was too hard for her. They needed adult strength but she wouldn’t let us near them! Much crying and sobbing ensued over the next few days until she braved it out.

Then came all the drama of having to take them out for school PE and panicking that they’d heal over! Let’s just say she’s a worrier!

So in the end it all changed my mind and if I had it to do over I’d do it around 2. I had mine done at that age. There’d be no fuss as she’d not know, no need to take them out for school any time soon and no preteen girl need to want to swap and change them for fashion ones. Much simpler and by time she started school they would be long healed.

I understand the argument against god young kids, but my own drama llama thoroughly changed what I’d do if I could do it over again

*against doing young kids - not god

I’d have let my DDhave hets pierced at around 8. She doesn’t want them pierced. Sime if her friends had them done age 6, some aren’t allowed until age 14/16.
I had my ears pierced at 4, at my request, which I find odd as my mum was super strict!

Apologies for all the typos, fat fingers, small phone!

But usertwo rather than get them done younger, why wouldn't you just not get them done at all and leave it up to her when she's old enough to do it herself if she wishes?

My niece developed a nasty allergy after she had her ears pierced. I told dd that because the health risks she would have to wait until she was old enough to take responsibility for her own body which would be when she turned 16, as I did not wish to be responsible for something that could cause a health risk, particularly as I had no interest in it being done. She is 21 and still hasn't had it done.

No SadieHH because she was desperate to have them done, knew the full details and was ready in every way.... until the tight backs on the starter earrings caused her to have panic about taking them out. She was suddenly convinced that if she pulled too hard that she might hurt herself or rip them out. Daft and irrational but that was what happened. Once past this irrational fear she was great at looking after them but the drama of those few days and until she’d mastered the PE removals was awful for her. Never saw it coming.

So in hindsight, for my DD, I would definitely have gone back and done them young to save all the drama we had.

We got our daughters ears pierced at 6months. In the part of the world we live it is normal, a sign of femininity.

I know it won't be a popular thing to say but with all of this gender neutral thinking I want to go against the grain. She is a girl, that's not debatable. She look like a girl, inside and out. I think the earrings are pretty, cute, feminine...

I recently got second holes in my ears and it hurt. It REALLY hurt. There's no way I'd do that to a baby who wouldn't understand why you're hurting them. And also it looks shit.

You want to go against the grain so you put a couple of holes in your baby?

Makes perfect sense

It's nothing to do with "gender neutral" and nothing to do with somehow being against femininity. It's to do with the idea that a tiny baby needs to demonstrate femininity. Why is that important to a baby? And why does it have to involve making holes in their ears and causing them pain?

Aren't earrings a choking hazard?
We have strict regs about toy safety, but what about earrings?

But any pain and danger is much less important than making sure your baby daughter looks pretty, cute and feminine of course.

@momalloverthemap
In some parts of the world a child can get married against their will.
In some parts of the world children suffer genital mutilation.
In some parts of the world beating your child until they bleed is ok.

Stop being blind and realise your child isn’t a doll for you to play with how you wish, she has her own mind and might not want holes in her ears. The fact that you would purposely stab your child and scar them for life because of something you like is beyond ridiculous

@momalloverthemap - I know it won't be a popular view to hold, but I personally think you are a terrible parent to put holes in your infant daughters ears to make her cute and pretty. All babies are born cute and pretty, and people who believe they need to mutilate their child's ears their make that so should probably just buy a doll instead.

*to make

There's no way I could do that to a baby. My dd is only 2 but definitely not until she asks and even then I might want to wait longer. Maybe around 8 ish

Nope. Even my more appearance-interested 6 year old has expressed zero interest in the idea of earrings yet. When she does and if she's old enough to cope with the aftercare of it I'll take her to have it done (I'd rather she got it done properly than some of the teenage dodgy as fuck places and things we did to make holes in bits of our ears) - but I'll hang fire as long as I can because pretty much all the women in our family have various metal allergies that jewellery can set off if not carefully chosen. Younger daughter isn't interested in stuff that doesn't have superheros on so unless Spiderman suddenly starts rocking an ear stud I'm safe on that front.

I would wait and see you don't know what kind of child she'll be what of like one of mine she's really rough and tumble. I'd have been forever worrying about them getting ripped out.

My DD8 has just had them done, looked after them well & still got a nasty infection that luckily healed well but was horrible it was to the side of the hole and burst through the skin, that was bad enough for an 8yr old to deal with let alone a toddler.

I said I'd wait until they asked, over and over so I knew they wanted it. DD1 has asked but only once or twice.

Yes, it's far too early to be thinking about it!

DD (12) has shown no interest but a few of her friends have had them done in the past 6-9 months, ie. as they left junior school!

Once your baby arrives, I suspect this won't be top of your list of things to think about..... and in any event, I suspect you won't want to stick anything sharp into her at all once you've actually got her snuggled in your arms.