have you pierced your daughters ears?

[Justposting]

Still awaiting baby girls arrival, probably far to early to be thinking about this. Have you pierced your daughters ears? if so at what age do you feel it is appropriate, my sister did her baby at just a few months old. I have a friend who thinks it’s not fair on the child unless they are old enough to ask for it themselves, I am currently in two minds,
What are your thoughts?

@youngnomore why did you get their ears pierced?

It's wrong to pierce a baby's ears. Just because it's cultural doesn't make it right.

My dd is 17 and still doesn’t have them pierced. I said that she could do them for her 15th birthday but she decided that she couldn’t be bothered with covering them/taking them out for games at school so didn’t have them done.

12-13 if they asked for it. It just seems cruel and unnecessary pain when they're young (after seeing your baby have her first jabs I doubt you'd consider it anyway)

Even if there was a painless way of doing it I wouldn't due to the risks of them getting pulled on and the general discomfort. I don't wear earrings at night, I wouldn't want to make a child sleep with them in.

DD(5) asked because her best friend has them pierced. She changed her mind when she realised she needed to have holes in her ears DH and I have decided that she can have them done when she leaves primary school, but she's not asked since.

Genuinely don't understand why anyone would want to do this until the child was old enough to want it and be responsible about it. So in my mind about 14. I wasn't allowed at all which was a bit extreme, eventually did aged 22!

Op your post also suggests you'd be doing it yourself which I find quite terrifying

I was allowed to get my ears pierced when I was 13, not a moment before and had been begging for years at that point. Would never pierce a baby or allow anything done to their bodies unless it was medically necessary.

I got my daughters ears pierced at 7 it was a massive mistake. She screamed the shop down and was then terrified to let anyone touch them. They healed really well but she just couldn't bear to have anyone take them in and out because she was so afraid it would hurt. In the end I took them out when she was asleep and let the holes close. It just caused her so much distress it wasn't worth it.
There are loads of girls in her class who have had no problems though.
It really depends what type of child your daughter is. If they're the type to freak out over a splinter or a tiny cut (like mine) then don't get it done.

No, no, no. I think it's wrong to pierce a baby's ears. It should be a decision to be made by them when you deem them old enough to make it.

If mine are desperate they can have them done when they go to high school but I'd prefer later. It looks horrible on babies and small children, makes me think less of the parents and I judge my arse off. Rather be judgy than someone vain enough to make holes in my children because they don't look pretty enough without them.

I saw this horrendous video on Instagram of a baby of around four months old literally being pinned down to have hers pierced in claire’s of all places. She was screaming blue murder, it was beyond heartbreaking .

In some cultures (Spanish for example) it is commonplace and done to separate baby boys from girls but in my opinion it’s completely unnecessary, ugly and asking for infections or the potential of being yanked out. I wouldn’t do it. My DD’s can have them done if they ever ask.

Chavvy. Absolutely awful.

I remember being the wee girl desperate to have my ears pierced and my mum finally relenting after my 13th birthday. DD is almost 5 and if she wanted it done, I’d let her, but only after getting the second holes in my ears done again to show her exactly what she was asking for and then letting her decide.
So far she’s shown no interest and I certainly wouldn’t make the decision for her.

Possibly a touchy subject, but I consider this the same as circumcising your son when he doesn't need it. It makes me really angry that parents would choose to mutilate their child (even more so with circumcision) and cause them pain when it's not medically necessary.

Just awful on babies and small children. They’re perfect as they are. No need for jewellery or makeup. I think informed consent is key here and being able to look after it themselves. DD is 11 and hasn’t asked. None of her friends have pierced ears yet.

DH and I agreed that DD could have her ears pierced when she was old enough to ask properly. She randomly asked me last year when she was 6 and I got her booked in at Claire's.

They look lovely and she's built quite a nice collection of earrings over the past year, though she only wears studs and nothing dangly just in case of accidents.

Having watched and held my newborn babies whilst having medically necessary interventions such as lumbar punctures, blood tests, canulas, etc etc, there is no way I would subject them to an unnecessary cosmetic vanity treatment.

Never mind the whole sexist issue of baby girls being seen as in need of being marked as such with piercings.

I think that you either get them done when a baby (and no, it's not remotely like circumcision) because you as parent will have complete control of hygiene and the babe is not coordinated enough to fiddle with them. And by the time they're active enough to need to take them out for contact activities, they'll have healed so well it won't matter if they're out even for long periods. Personally, I don't like how it looks on children that small, but others do.

If not then, then I would go for the summer between primary and secondary school. That was the peak time for my DD's schoolmates (including her)

I’m curious as to the answer people would give to “why would you cause your child unnecessary pain?” Because beyond “they don’t remember it” I don’t think I’ve heard one. They may well not remember, but they feel it at the time and it’s that which I’m curious about the justification for.

Genuine question.

And why get them done? Given that you don't know whether your daughter (usually) will grow up to want it done, the argument that it's easier when they're younger doesn't wash. So what, they don't look pretty enough? What?

DD was 11 - summer after finishing primary school. She asked, and i felt she was old enough to look after them herself.

That was a key part of the decision for me - old enough to ask, old enough to be able to look after and do the self care required after them.

As her school said no earrings at all, end of primary was a good choice. I'd have considered it from about age 10y, as DD would have been capable by then..

Having seen and heard, a baby having them done in a shop once no one can ever convince me it is right to have a baby or toddler's ears pierced. IMO it should not be allowed at all. there should be a minimum age.

NO WAY! It sets a bad example about what's important in life. Not to mention how dangerous is could be if they ripped on the carpet, soft play etc.

I will wait until 10/11 yrs old.

My friends had her daughters pierced and then she couldn't participate in swimming
For 3 weeks. Not exactly a valid reason to not learn to swim!

I think it looks common as muck when you see babies and toddlers with piercings - and that includes boys too!
Wait until they are old enough to know their own mind as ask for it.

Year 9, so around age 14, is the earliest people do it round here it seems (SW England). Dd had it done then too but then they all got a second pair slightly higher up a year later. I am not keen though there are bigger battles to fight. As a baby, no way sorry.

You can't say people with learning difficulties can't have a choice. They are people and allowed to make choices in some circumstances