have you pierced your daughters ears?

[Justposting]

Still awaiting baby girls arrival, probably far to early to be thinking about this. Have you pierced your daughters ears? if so at what age do you feel it is appropriate, my sister did her baby at just a few months old. I have a friend who thinks it’s not fair on the child unless they are old enough to ask for it themselves, I am currently in two minds,
What are your thoughts?

@lynmilne65 I agree, it depends on the disability and the level to which it does or doesn’t affect the ability to make decisions.

Not what I said at all. Of course adults with LDs can make choices, I specifically cited "adults with learning difficulties or suchlike who are unable to give informed consent". I.e. who may be unable to communicate properly or at all, or who have the mental capacity of a toddler, to give two examples. If a carer of theirs took them randomly to Claires and forcibly held them while they screamed and cried and had their ears punctured with a piercing gun (and they're a whole other thread in themselves) it would be viewed as assault, and quite rightly so. Why is a tiny baby any different? Parents don't own children, they have a responsibility to protect them. Unnecessarily puncturing their ears with metal bats doesn't fall into the 'protecting' category.

Parents don't own children, they have a responsibility to protect them. Unnecessarily puncturing their ears with metal bats doesn't fall into the 'protecting' category

I agree with this.

No, it looks awful and what can a baby get from it. You can't guild a lily.

We'll talk about it when you're in secondary school is my thought on it.

My foreign grandmother babysat my toddler sisters for the day and took them to get their ears pierced they came back with hoops in their ears my mother was mortified .

I therefore was told I could never have my ears pierced and ended up having it done when I was 8 at butlins when away with a friends family .

Have told my dd she has to wait until she's at least 8 but I don't think little girls care about this anymore? None of them seem to have their ears done in our circle

It ought to be bloody well illegal to pierce a baby's ears. Imagine punching holes in any other part of a baby's body, you'd be sent to prison! And rightly so. It ought to be classed as child abuse. You don't justify stabbing holes in others by putting a little sparkly gem into it afterwards and I don't see why ears are any different. As a mother I couldn't deliberately cause pain to my baby for aesthetic reasons. If you can sit there and watch someone hurt your child for your own vanity then you're a bit sick in the head.

I hate earings on babies

Dd is just turned 5. In the past year shes asked on i think 3 occassions. Each time once i've said about it being a needle and it will hurt she has dropped it.

If she persisted in asking at this age i would let her

My DD was 8. She pestered me for 2 years.
I think the age is suitable when child can clearly ask for them and be sure, hence why ai made DD wait so long. It is a decision she made and stuck to.

I don't believe there is a 'good' age. There is definitely a bad age though (baby age)
Go with your instincts on what your child wants, when S/he wants it and take it from there!

@Justposting i do think though, your baby isn't yet born, you will have so much to think about the next few years, will possibly be too tired to entertain this forward planning!
I think when I was pregnant I couldn't see further than trying to work out how on earth I am going to juggle!

I told DD it would be secondary school (so 11/12) however, we walked past Claire's once when they were doing a toddler, with two people holding her down to have it. DD was fascinated so we watched-best thing I ever did-what with all the crying and seeing the piercing "guns", it terrified her and put her off! We now can't even walk past if someone's in the chair! She's now 14 and still no chance she will have it done!

Jesus I found it distressing enough having to hold mine down for vaccinations (and in DS1s case numerous cannulas and blood tests). And I knew that was to help them!

I couldn’t, under any circumstances imagine justifying pinning my child down for something unnecessary that I’d selfishly decided to inflict on them.

I can’t stand it when I hear parents say they will let their kids ‘when they ask’ then promptly proceed to try and put them off. Thy haven’t had it done because you don’t like it, stop acting like it’s anything to do with their choices.

As opposed to having it done to them when they're babies because you like it you mean? Because they certainly haven't asked for it.

And still not one person has come back with a good reason why they've done this to their child. Strange that.

@KreigersClones I haven’t tried to put her off, but I have said I’d get mine done again in front of her so she could see exactly what happens and then let her decide.

It’s a moot point in DDs case because she’s not interested, but if she was that’s how I’d do it.

I havent tried to put dd off either ive just made her aware of how it is done

DD was 8 and we did it at the start of the summer holidays as she can wear to school apart from PE

We went to a tattoo and piercing parlour where the piercer would only do it if it was the child’s choice so DD had to confirm it was and signed something (obvs I did)

I think earrings look disgusting and tacky on a baby or even young child. Why would you want to do that to your baby for no reason other than you think it will look "nice"?

Earrings were originally worn throughout the world to ward off evil spirits. (Usually small gold hoops) I was only a few weeks old when my mum had mine done and never had an issue. It's a personal choice, it's your child. If it's just for vanity sake over traditional then I'd hold off but that's just me personally.

I don't like pierced ears on adults let alone children, so it would be 16-plus only. Earrings for the whole of your adult life is plenty long enough.

Dd now 17 but the summer before high school, felt she was old enough to look after them herself then.

My DD's were almost 8 and the other was on her 8th birthday and had been asking for a long time.
DH's nieces had theirs done as babies and as their ears grew their piercings ended up completely wonky now as teens. One has long slits instead of holes due to them being pulled on and torn as small children so can only wear wide, large earrings that cover the slits.

It's a personal choice, it's your child...

But it's not your body so ultimately not your choice. Your child is not your possession, what about their bodily autonomy, what about their choice? What gives you the right to make the choice on their behalf to inflict unnecessary pain and modification to their bodies?

And I ask this as someone with 12 piercings and many tattoos.

It's abuse without a doubt. If you saw someone randomly stab a baby with a needle and it pierced through the flesh you would be phoning the police. Why is it suddenly ok just because you shove a sparkly ornament through it? And anyone who says it's not sore is delusional.

I have 4 daughters, my eldest had hers done in Feb for her 13th Birthday. She asked for years and was told no, no way it was being done before she was a teenager. If I'd jabbed her with a needle just for shits and giggles it would be assault, stabbing holes through ears is no different and I think it's a disgusting thing to do for no reason other than vanity on children and especially babies.

Also her ears were done in a proper body piercing place by a piercer with years of training and experience and it was spotless. Not in a shop by someone with minimal training before they were let loose on the general public.