OK have been meaning to start this one for a while - what are you insouciant about re yr kids?

[Clary]

Sorry for silly long word in the title. I really mean, what do you let go and think is OK that others might not. I am convinced we all have sthg.

For example, a pal is a lovely mum and really caring but once carried more children in her car than there were eseast for. I would never do this.

Another really really lovely caring mumsnet type mum who makes her own bread and loves her lovely kids to bits and does all kinds of imaginative stuff with them but passes on shoes.

Another is lovely too, shoes always nicely shined, house is clean and tidy, children very polite, ride bikes, read well etc, but are fed total crap - and refuse any brown bread, salad, fruit etc (at least that's all the kids were ever given at playdates there).

So what's your thing you just don't think matters? I'm not after judging (tho no doubt this will go that way) but interested.

Tp show I mean it, here are mine (I have 2); 1) I let my kids lick out the cake mix bowl (the car friend thinks this is unacceptable). Raw eggs, schmaw eggs. Am I putting their lives at risk?

2. I am a bit casual about illness. If DD is sick (she often is) but not really ill, ie she throws up then asks what's for lunch and goes and runs round in the garden afterwards, I don't wait 48 hrs to send her back to school.

See, I told you I was a bad mother!

Yes, I am casual about illness, cleanliness and safety (we have never had a stair gate for example), also don't mind raw eggs/unhygenic things.

But I am obsessive about cutting grapes etc in half and choking. Also about sun-cream, sun-hats etc and getting properly fitted shoes. .

I think a friend who thinks it is unacceptable to lick out the bowl is mad. FFS!

I would pass on shoes. Why not? My dd loves wearing her big brother's Doodles!
Just don't get this stuff. Really I don't.

we pass on wellies, doodles, sandals, slippers etc, but just not hard shoes.

dd turns out to be a complete dirt-magnet and is always the most scuffed dirty and snotty child i know, when we are out of the house. but although looking mostly like she is neglected actually i am quite a stickler at home for proper food, good shoes, home/car safety, education and teeth-brushing. in fact so much that my dh calls me 'goody two-shoes'.

I dont thing I am complacent in any which way now I think about it.

I face illness in a different way. I stick him in bed all day and he doesnt come down until he is better. (That way I dont get the fake illness' cos he isnt keen to be in his bed all day if he is well, is he now

I suppose I feign forgetfulness sometimes when I have asked him to do something for me a couple of times. It depends on how important it is.

No I think I am pretty strict with little fella really but loving too.

We lick the cake bowl if DH isn't looking!

I'm lacksidasical over safety and cleanliness of kids attire.

I buy second hand clothes and shoes for the kids.

I give my kids fruitshoots and McD's if nothing else is available at the time.

If they are ill they don't have much fussing over. I give them sympathy and cuddles, but they don't get pampered to be honest.

licking the cake bowl is part of growing up!!!

Bedtime

Very relaxed about cleanliness and hygiene in general
Casual about illness

OTOH, very strict on TV time and OFFERING balenced diet (eg they eat dirt AND lentil stew

Oh yes, Im a shocker at not letting him anywhere on his own. Parties, organise events or school trips, even friends.

However, ta da, I have left him at a local authority multi activity day, since 9am this morning and eagerly watching the clock for 3pm when I pick him up.

He is 5 btw.

I am not as vigilant as I should be about ds reading age-appropriate stuff
He is nosy, devious and an excellent reader. We can't keep Private Eye under lock and key and are not prepared to shred newspapers as soon as they are read...
"Mummy, what's a whore? Why is Jose Mourinho in trouble for saying it?"
Also tend only to enforce hairwashing when ecosystems appear to be developing...

drawing on the wall.

never got anal about it. dont really know why. it just wasn't important.

brown mean brow!

Oh, and TV watching.

Loads of stuff, really.

Just not behaviour or food [you don't say]

i don't feel the urge to have a baby wipe constantly at hand for any smudges of dirt

they lick the bowl

we have never had a stairgate, kiddy locks on cupboards etc

colds don't count as being ill

they have fruit shoots when we are at McD's

I cannot get worked up about children running the wrong up the slide in parks. As long as there are no other children on it, I do not see the harm. None of my friends allow it, even when their child is the only one in a 5 mile radius.

I am fanatical about sun cream and fitted shoes and eating fruit and veg but happy to have tv on whenever we are at home.

nightly bath

never did that.

3 times a week - whats the prob man?

oh and matching outfits....if they want to wear a spiderman outfit with glittery pumps who cares?

what exactly is wrong with licking out the cake bowl? Mind you dd has to fight me for it

also quite relaxed about vomiting. I can chuck up at the drop of a hat and so can dd and be fine an hour later.

Dont do handing down shoes cos bad feet run in my mums family and dd and I have them too.

Very laid back about cleanliness, safety (never had a stair gate either and stopped sterilising for dd1 very quickly, dont think the steriliser even came out for dd2) dirt - so what if they eat a bundle ...boosting their immunity I say, also background TV, loud ish music in the car, licking the bowl out, going out dressed in fairy outfit or some such other gorgeous ensemble as chosen by dd2, also very flexible about mealtimes and eating on the run (friend is horrified that I let mine eat in the back of the car, what if they choke??), sipping my wine or dipping thei fingers in DH's beer- friend equally horrified.

Not quite so laid back about teeth brushing - mine are awful and I wish my children a better dental future, quality of food, properly fitted shoes, writing thankyou notes - another throwback from my mother, reading a bedtime story and loads of others which I am sure will come to me!

Oh dear, where do I start?

I let my children drink fruit shoots

I let my two oldest boys drink cappuccinos

I am very poor on safety in all areas eg I would let them cycle without helmets if I thought dh would not get to hear about it and when they drop something in the car and can't reach it, I say "oh for goodness sake, quickly un-do your seatbelt and pick it up, you won't die if you do". I was always leaving irons around my children and they were forever escaping through stair gates etc when they were little.

Despite being an emetophobe, I am pretty lax about cleaning, especially the bathroom

They all eat raw eggs, even from very young, eg mousses I make or likcing cake bowls

I see no harm in letting children eat carbohydrates and lots of them - I happen to know they need them

I let my youngest eat unppaid for grapes around the supermarket

I dont get hung up about bad language

I let my youngest watch tv programmes that are way too old for them

My children walk to school by themselves

I leave my older children alone in the house and sometimes I leave them in charge of the 4 year old too

The list is endless. I don't relate to many of the things people get up tight about here.

cleanliness/smartness of appearance (not talking snotty noses here, just scruffy)

putting things in mouth - only stop him if it as actually dangerous (sharp/pointy/filthy)

In fact, I think I am the Mumsnet Queen of Insouciance as I dont get hung up about anything mentioned here either except for the vomiting issue but that is because I am phobic about it.

Oh and the drawing on the wall thing. Only my two youngest did that ever and I still haven't forgiven them!

Pretty relaxed about amount of TV they watch.

Am not relaxed about age-inappropriate TV - my 2 have never seen an episode of Eastenders / Corrie etc.

Although DH does let DD watch Doctor Who with him.