OK have been meaning to start this one for a while - what are you insouciant about re yr kids?

[Clary]

Sorry for silly long word in the title. I really mean, what do you let go and think is OK that others might not. I am convinced we all have sthg.

For example, a pal is a lovely mum and really caring but once carried more children in her car than there were eseast for. I would never do this.

Another really really lovely caring mumsnet type mum who makes her own bread and loves her lovely kids to bits and does all kinds of imaginative stuff with them but passes on shoes.

Another is lovely too, shoes always nicely shined, house is clean and tidy, children very polite, ride bikes, read well etc, but are fed total crap - and refuse any brown bread, salad, fruit etc (at least that's all the kids were ever given at playdates there).

So what's your thing you just don't think matters? I'm not after judging (tho no doubt this will go that way) but interested.

Tp show I mean it, here are mine (I have 2); 1) I let my kids lick out the cake mix bowl (the car friend thinks this is unacceptable). Raw eggs, schmaw eggs. Am I putting their lives at risk?

2. I am a bit casual about illness. If DD is sick (she often is) but not really ill, ie she throws up then asks what's for lunch and goes and runs round in the garden afterwards, I don't wait 48 hrs to send her back to school.

See, I told you I was a bad mother!

I am pretty relaxed about all aspects of family life.
Why sweat the small stuff?
Hygeine/ illness / diet / homework.
The only thing i suppose I am a bit pernickity about are good manners and good shoes, although I do hand down trainers/ daps, wellies and flip-flops!

My 18 month old drinks tea

I'm really slack about sun cream, they just rip their clothes off in the garden then jump in the sandpit and then jump in the paddling pool and then roll in mud, and then run back into the house, I don't know how sun cream fits into this, I need to improve I know

Last week I let them paint themselves naked in mud and I thought that at least they were protected from the sun

Oooh yes just tought of another, I let all of them watch Dr who even tho the oldest is 7.

Greeny's description on a thread of what had happened in the last episode (which I had seen, mind you) really shocked me and I felt like a bad mummy.

Aloha, I pass on clothes galore but never shoes (wellies OK) as they mould to yr feet y'see. Have crap feet myself and hoping to avoid this for children.

Marina lol at DS readign Private Eye. Hardly crime of the century, is it. I'm sure you can think of sthg worse than that. Look at DG's list and we love her

I let dd1 lick cake mix out of the bowl (although our eggs are all from my own chickens who have been salmonella tested - don't know if that means it's totally ok though!)

I let them both eat chocolate, ice cream and cakes as a special treat.

I pass on shoes. Not so much hard ones but sandals, trainers etc yes.

I shout at dd1 sometimes. I am pretty strict about routines, bedtimes etc and I insist on good behaviour especially when out otherwise I WILL literally steer them back home.

I let them watch CBeebies / Disney DVDs every day.

BUT...
I am neurotic about cutting grapes in half.

I try to feed them as much healthy organic stuff as possible (although they're both pretty fussy)

I kiss and cuddle them about a million times a day and always tell them how much I love them and how fab they are!

Oh, and I let them drink (milky) tea!

I'm insouciant (can safely say I've never used that word before, it feels good) about loads of things, mostly safety related (no stairgates, ds is allowed to dance on the coffee table etc., though I do have plug covers). He is allowed to lick out the cake bowl. He plays in the garden by himself (16 months old).

I am souciant (is that the opposite?) about being obeyed when I say 'no' and not having background 'noise' (TV or radio).

MP lol at yr post

I don't cut grapes in half btw and never have really (unless DH insisted).

Makes no sense as I still cut up cherry toms.

mp I think suncream and how strict you are depends on what kind of skin your DC has. DD has already burnt badly even with cream on when she was asleep in her buggy and I didn't want to wake her to top it up and there was no shade.

My things are:

clothes (loads of handmedowns esp for DD)
fruit shoots
Greggs sausage rolls (they are cheap)
picking dirty food up off the floor (even when out and about)
cake bowl/raw eggs both were eating marzipan and royal icing at a young age
sipping wine/beer
illness
leaving DC in car while I go in shops
have both been playing in garden (fairly safe and very secure) since they could first walk

Now for my unique one:
I let DD dip her finger into the bouillion powder and then lick it, while I am cooking.

I resisted the urge to post the list of things I am strict about - but it is the other half of everyone's list, I guess.

I am a stickler for

Decent healthy diet
Manners and good behaviour
Teeth cleaning (no surprise there)
Proper fitting shoes (don't pass down other than wellies)

I am not fussed about

the children being immaculately turned out at all times
letting them watch tv daily
I rarely get particularly worked up when they are ill (minor illness that is)

I never wake ds up even if he falls asleep on the sofa at half five. He's 3 now and still goes to bed at 7pm whatever he does in the day (smug!!)

hmmm, I'm laid back about most things really.

My two have always got dressed in whatever they want, are regularly filthy because we cannot walk past a hill/slope without them rolling down it , they eat copious amounts of Chocolate Spread for breakfast, fight over who eats the raw cake mixture (they like it better than the cooked stuff), we hand down everything to anyone that's interested and receive hand downs gratefully.

I suppose the only thing I get properly antsy about is them going to bed - I can't stand it when they mess about after I've said good night.

yes, I will leave dcs in the car, will leave dcs outside shops, I don't mind nudity or mismatched illfitting clothes (in fact this is a prerequisite in our house), I swear too much in front of them, allow them chocolate.

I have decided I am a bit obessive about food though - I only get organic meat, wholemeal bread, don't like mcdonalds or sweets really.

Oh yes I always insist on sun cream and hats too, both my kids are very fair, plus I burnt badly as a child and had a huge blister (about 6 inches in diameter) on my back so I have to have that area regularly checked, for any abnormalities.

i'm obsessive about good food and health and safety behaviour and bedtimes but....

have never had my kids fitted for shoes,

let dd eat cake batter (including xmas cake with brandy in it ,

have no problem with her having tea and coffee,

am very much a wait and see if it gets worse parent when it comes to health (although this has done us a favour as when i brought dd to gp to get a paeds referal he was so surprised to see me he instantly took me seriously and gave me a referal before he even checked her over!)

Goodness does anyone really object to handmedown clothes tho??

Hardly a sign of a bad mother even in a tongue in cheek way.
In fact excellent recycling (ie reusing) so really a Good Thing. Shoes excepted for me at least.

Actually I do have a colleague who doesn't even hand down between her two dds, but she's a bit Odd anyway.

Bozza I pick up food off the floor as well, really shocks a pal of mine I can tell (tho she's polite enough not to say anything lolol)

I am absolutely appallingly insouciant (oh I love that word, I love it so very much, with a passion) about everything except teeth and shoes. Also I do brush their hair, but that is because otherwise they look as if they had mats on their heads.

I very much don't get the smartly turned out thing. Or the not leaving them at things on their own thing.

I thought I'd be really bothered about cleanliness etc but ds is regularly seen out covered in food, with crazy spiky hair and with snot crusts. I used to turn my nose up at other people's dirty kids but think mine is cute. I often forget to brush his teeth too

Clary, why on earth does your mad friend not hand down clothes? It's one of the huge pluses of having two kids of the same gender, IMO.

(Actually, DD1 did spend her entire first year in her male cousin's clothes.)

I'm very bad about meal times too. We had breakfast at 11 today and are about to have lunch now. Goodness knows when tea will come .

We are also very bad at hair washing because dd's hair is like a bird's nest and quite often I've washed her hair only to discover that there's a whole layer of it underneath that's still dry .

I've never worried about dirt (never bothered sterilising) or safety (apart from carseats - see below). DD only ever gets a bath about twice a week and I only ever wash her hair when it begins to smell.

My DD gets to lick out DP's espresso cup. Not yet got to cake mixture but no doubt she'll be allowed to do that too. I mean, I always did and am still here, so...

I never iron DD's (or indeed anyone's) clothes. I didn't think that was insouciant but a friend of mine was horrified when she found this out. Similarly I never worry too much if there's a faded stain on a T shirt, as long as it's clean. If I did I'd have run out of clothes pretty quickly.

I also park DD in front of a DVD rather too often, although I am trying to improve.

On the other hand, I'm very strict about healthy food (no junk allowed at the mo'), proper shoes, good manners and general good discipline. I'm also manic about car seats.

I'm also very strict about the colour pink . I hate hate hate it. I will tolerate fuschia but anything lighter doesn't darken my doorway. God help me when she gets to 6 and decides she wants a Barbie bedroom or a pink princess outfit [shudder emoticon].

I let DS wear football shirts and persuade me that he is "really not cold, mummy, and anyway I don't mind being cold" in Yorkshire in January so that he can go play out in shorts.
I started leaving him at parties from age 3 (no chance of that with DD).
I let him go on sleepovers from age 3.

As for recycling shoes I put all ours (had about 10 assorted pairs on Monday) in the variety club blue shoe bin which claims they are refurbished and sent to developing countries.

Not too phased about TV (as long as it's not Japanese rubbish)
Not too phased what they eat.

I am totally phased about:

Sun safety
Car safety
Fizzy drinks