OK have been meaning to start this one for a while - what are you insouciant about re yr kids?

[Clary]

Sorry for silly long word in the title. I really mean, what do you let go and think is OK that others might not. I am convinced we all have sthg.

For example, a pal is a lovely mum and really caring but once carried more children in her car than there were eseast for. I would never do this.

Another really really lovely caring mumsnet type mum who makes her own bread and loves her lovely kids to bits and does all kinds of imaginative stuff with them but passes on shoes.

Another is lovely too, shoes always nicely shined, house is clean and tidy, children very polite, ride bikes, read well etc, but are fed total crap - and refuse any brown bread, salad, fruit etc (at least that's all the kids were ever given at playdates there).

So what's your thing you just don't think matters? I'm not after judging (tho no doubt this will go that way) but interested.

Tp show I mean it, here are mine (I have 2); 1) I let my kids lick out the cake mix bowl (the car friend thinks this is unacceptable). Raw eggs, schmaw eggs. Am I putting their lives at risk?

2. I am a bit casual about illness. If DD is sick (she often is) but not really ill, ie she throws up then asks what's for lunch and goes and runs round in the garden afterwards, I don't wait 48 hrs to send her back to school.

See, I told you I was a bad mother!

Oh this wasn't supposed to get nasty, no twas a light hearted thread indeed.

I just think we all do our best but still have a point others would be horrified about.

Amazed that 2nd hand clothes would be it tho. DS2 has sooooooooo many clothes, almost all his brother's or cousins. I love to see a fave T-shirt reappear. Don't need to buy in charity shops really, but otherwise would.

granted DS is wee, but:

i insist on:

car seat.
trying new and healthy foods.
reading.
manners.
fresh air.
eating together round the table at least once a week.

couldn't care less about:

trendy clothes.
getting mucky.
nudity round the house.
bathing him every single day.

I dont care if my 6 month old puts dirty things off the floor into her mouth. I think babies are designed to do that by instinct. Builds their immune system. As long as there are no chemicals going in her mouth, then a bit of good old fashioned dirt or dust is good for a child. A friend of mine 20 years my senior was <span class="italic">shocked</span> when DD was bored and I handed her a tiny yellow comb to play with and put in her mouth. "A <span class="italic">comb</span> in her <span class="italic">mouth</span>!" she said increduously to the person next to her. I told her Id seen much worse things than that go in her mouth, so a comb is fine.

Well, until recently I viewed myself as a control freak but I have obviously lightened up somewhat because I don't have anything to put in the strict column and just about everything goes in the casual list. Does this mean that I have become really lazy?

WTF is wrong with a comb ?! Now, I kind of saw the point when someone criticised me for letting my toddler chew my shoes, but a comb ...?!

Absolutely nothing...(as long as there are no nits on it) ....

Nits are a valuable source of protein and probably supply lots of iron and vitamins and, er, stuff...

Yahhh..bit tickly down the throat me would thinks........

ewwww

Haven't read all the thread but to answer OP..... everything. I'm fairly insouciant about everything child-related. Apart from heights (I don't stop them doing stuff, I just don't look ), rudeness and dropping litter. And so far my insouciance (love that word) has been fine as my kids are still alive, healthy and happy.

My ds1 used to chew on my slippers as a baby and I caught my ds2 munching on a chunk of cat food the other day(I did take it out of his mouth though).

Both mine have chewed on most things, including combs, can't see a problem with that.

generally very relaxed about:

Dirt/cleanliness
Don't go in for lots of 'hand washing'
Food. At least as long as they have some good stuff everyday, I don't mind some crap every day.

Uptight about:
Safety. I see danger for them everywhere.
Bedtime, they need sleep we need time while they sleep.
Homework. Might not be fun, but has to be done.
TV and computer, very strictly limited.

Am I the only person On MN to put 'food' in their insouciant list??

oh my god it gets worse!!! so not only do you let your dirty children run around in 2nd hand clothes, you also let them eat nits!!!

Nits are very high in protein and low in fat totallyshocked.

I suppose that's one way of getting them to broaden their diet.

well my kids only get organic, nothing else will do

Well.... nits are usually organic but it depends who they've been feeding on of course...

Actually that is quite nasty. Sorry.

thought of another 2 today. i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and cold baby food. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt. he ate the yoghurt first

i used to love licking the bowl when i was younger so had no problem with dd1 doing it at about 20 months, 5 mins later she had swelled up like a balloon and was struggling to breathe, after a mad dash to a&e we discoved that she was allergic to raw eggs and had to endure some snooty doctor telling us how feeding a small child raw eggs was not a good idea

Casual about illness, mixing up icecream until its a big melted mess, and having tidy hair at weekends/non-school days.

Oh and kids are meant to be dirty - coming in filthy at the end of the day is a sign of a good day Not one for staying clean - oh and friends who change t-shirts if lunch is dribbled on em slightly... they are children - unless you are going somewhere important, it doesn't matter!!!

Obsessive about shoes...