OK have been meaning to start this one for a while - what are you insouciant about re yr kids?

[Clary]

Sorry for silly long word in the title. I really mean, what do you let go and think is OK that others might not. I am convinced we all have sthg.

For example, a pal is a lovely mum and really caring but once carried more children in her car than there were eseast for. I would never do this.

Another really really lovely caring mumsnet type mum who makes her own bread and loves her lovely kids to bits and does all kinds of imaginative stuff with them but passes on shoes.

Another is lovely too, shoes always nicely shined, house is clean and tidy, children very polite, ride bikes, read well etc, but are fed total crap - and refuse any brown bread, salad, fruit etc (at least that's all the kids were ever given at playdates there).

So what's your thing you just don't think matters? I'm not after judging (tho no doubt this will go that way) but interested.

Tp show I mean it, here are mine (I have 2); 1) I let my kids lick out the cake mix bowl (the car friend thinks this is unacceptable). Raw eggs, schmaw eggs. Am I putting their lives at risk?

2. I am a bit casual about illness. If DD is sick (she often is) but not really ill, ie she throws up then asks what's for lunch and goes and runs round in the garden afterwards, I don't wait 48 hrs to send her back to school.

See, I told you I was a bad mother!

I am not going to apologise or even say 'must try harder' I subscribe firmly to the healthy neglect school of parenting. Therefore I do pretty much everything that is on peoples lists. I am actually trying to think what I do sweat about???

Oh I know, earning their keep and teh value of money

My kids 6 and 8 have to tidy/clean their rooms to get pocket money and to get more they have to do additional cleaning tasks inc hoovering the living room, washing up or whatever.

I also hate them bickering non-stop and so we are working on that this hols with a form of payment. 10p each for everyday thay are nice to each other, and don't delivberatly wind the other one up

I do shout at them somethime, I do cuddle and kiss them more, they read to me rather than teh other way round and the eldest one always tastes my wine and usually pours me a glass when I need topping up.

Luckily howvever I have great kids who are pretty sensible, who watch TV possibly too much, but then they go off and play things too, who are capable of doing far far more to help than their friends (inc making their lunches if needs be). The older one is learning to iron (but since I don't iron more than once in a blue moon it will take a while)

Lots of the things mentioned already. I've never done the bath as part of the bedtime routine - and never had a problem with dd going to sleep.

The one thing I really stand out at being insouciant (fab word) about in comparison with my friends is when dd falls over. Loads of times one or other of my friends has gone "oh my goodness" and rushed over to dd who has merely tripped up and left me just standing and looking. I tend to wait and see if she cries and even then don't get my knickers in a twist about it.

High temperatures - my DCs 'run hot'. If I called the GP everytime we hit 104c I'd be there all the time.

We wear shoes in the house. We have a few friends who insist that shoes must be taken off at the door. I think it's a PITA (also weird that they'd rather have everyone's feet on display!). They think I'm a slut. Which is probably true

And often, but not always, I am insouciant about hair brushing/washing, grubby clothes, dirty nails and yelling.

Ah, yes, NB, high temps - DS1's has to get to 40 before I worry. Have to remind myself that DS2 isn't such a hot child!

Ha, I am totally slack about making them do chores (they are only 5 and two, but feel the same about dsd who is 15) as I hate doing housework anyway and am slattern. They don't get pocket money. Am too lazy to do any form of formal discipline. Star charts get forgotten by all of us after a day (only tried twice). I have never owned a thermometer for the children. Tried to buy an ear one once, but the shop didn't have any and I forgot about it.
More things I am slack about! And I thought I was quite a conscientious mother until I saw this thread.

Girls, please brush your hair, they have such messy hair.
fited shoes.
that's is about it. um.

very laid back about hosuework.
can leave me in the shops, they will find me soon.

oh, eat at the table please.
manners.
always fogeting about their teeth

Not fussed about dirt - a few months ago DS was jumping about in huge muddy puddle and another mum said 'don't you mind him doing that?' I smiled sweetly and said "we do have a washing machine'. I don't always wash his face after meals either, even though he takes after his father for awful table manners and shampoos with his food; I can't be arsed with housework so we rarely tidy up; he gets to watch Cbeebies and sometimes stay up late if we're in a childfriendly bar or going to a party.
I'm fussy about shoes, tend to hover and flap in the playground as he used to climb things that were too high then prance about at the top and have to be retrieved _ but we're both getting a bit better about that.

Oh and I try to avoid too much in the biscuit/additive-filled cake/fizzy drink line.

Don't get the point of ironing.

Don't care if all the playdough ends up mixed up and brown.

Have never provided any sort of in car entertainment (have seen people with baskets of toys between the seats) except talking to ds.

Allow ds to lick out the icing bowl (is allergic to eggs and egg substitute cake mix is blagh)

Don't bother intercepting ds's disagreements with playdates unless there is bruising or blood.

btw please don't get me wrong about the housework thing. I am lazy about it, HENCE the kids have to do it!!
I work ft and my dp is away atm, so I could get a cleaner in, but I wanted to see if I can get a routine together. It is all about shared responsibility tbh, we are all a family, so we all chip in. I did the bathroom yesterday for the 1st time in a month!!

I wouldn't want you to think that my house is tidy or anything (well it is atm as dh and dd's are away and therefore not making a mess and my parents are coming over this afternoon!) Or that I am hung up on it.

I just find bribery works better than anything else

this thread is hilarious. all these people "owning up" to stuff that is not even remotely shocking.

god, Im not even going to start on what passes round here!

When we first moved here...4 years ago....we had to buy carpets as we weren't allowed wooden flooring due to someone living underneath us..... i DID make everyone take their shoes off before coming in.....i had just paid 2 and a half thousand for new bloody carpets i didnt want dog sh**... old mans spit..and god knows what else trodden in...Give me smelly feet anyday...lol

After a year i got relaxed about it...and some shoes of visitors were allowed in..but shoes from my children were not!

Anyways....the lounge carpet is horrendous now and we are getting a new one next month (darker colour)...and the shoe rule will kick in again....i might even febreeze the feet as i welcome them in...LOL

Shoes have never been allowed upstairs and them carpets are still looking like new....i think feet need time out from their shoes anyway!!!!!!!!!

I'm slack about most things. Our house is being renovated so I don't care when the kids draw on the walls (ds2 knows not to, but ds1 does sometimes and half of me is pleased that he's drawing, ds3 then copies). I would care more if the house was done up- but would probably then just get more stressed. Jumping on sofas is good behaviour in our house.

Fussy about car safety. Fussy about ds1 and ds3 not getting aspartame (or I suffer) and try to be strict with ds1 about his danegrous stuff he does (although I am failing today with the new "I'm going to jump down as many stairs as I can" routine. He's managed 8 so far this morning.

I need to get stricter with ds2 (age 5) on the computer. He's started googling now (rather took me by surprise) looking for games websites and some are rather unsuitable. Time for child filter software.

Hmmm - that has to be some sort of retribution. Having gone on about being slack and laid back I heard the most almighty crash from the kitchen. Ds1 had knocked a bottle of wine off the top on a climbing expedition, glass and wine everywhere.

DH always likes to remind me of the time I came back from meeting an organic egg farmer with 36 eggs. It had made my day. Within 1/2 hour ds1 had emptied the entire crate on the floor. 36 eggs are not fun to clean up (the wine was a lot easier).

DC eat & drink at the table if we are in the house.
Bedtimes are pretty well enforced, and no going downstairs until 7am.
No drawing on the walls
No blue topped frootshoots

That's about it, anything else goes.

well there's not much I can do about the drawing on the walls really (severe autism plus explanations about not drawing on walls a bit wasted so I have to not care about it iyswim).

I am very strict about bedtime- by 8pm at absolute latest.

I wouldn't put up with drawing on the walls and jumping on the furniture is a no-no here.

I don't care about dd getting dirty, I love seeing her filthy at the end of the day, to me it means she's had a great time. I do know someone who takes spare clothes out with her and as soon as a tshirt got dirty (eg a bit of food at lunchtime) she whipped it off and put a clean one on, even if the next stop was the park where he was going to get even more dirty. I don't think she understood me licking dd's face clean with a tissue and some spit any more than I understood her.

If you have a severely autistic child you have to put up with drawing on walls tbh. Or you have to shadow them the whole time- which will soon send your blood pressure high. Locking away pens helps but I'm not very good at that. I spend more energy worrying about safety. He has a new trick today of jumping down flights of stairs (and doesn't have the sense to check whether there' another child at the bottom, let alone worry whether it's safe for him to do it. If he carries on I predict A&E with a twisted ankle by the end of the weekend.

I wouldn't put up with ds2 drawing on walls (he wouldn't anyway), and ds3 will soon learn not to, but I can't care about ds1 doing it- I'd be in an early grave if I let that sort of thing get to me.

I very occasionally ask in a would-be stern manner who drew on the walls, but have kind of given up since DD1 blamed the cat. Frankly, our walls are in a fairly appalling state anyway.

I don't fret if DD1 eats dirt or bits from under the kitchen table, falls over (unless she cries for more than 4 breaths' worth), draws on the desk or eats too much chocolate in one sitting.

But don't you dare put your feet on the table while eating, swear (and that means you too, DH), hit DD2 or go near a whole grape.

pmsl at blaming the cat. In our house ds1 just gets blamed- and he has no way of defending himself (rather like your cat mi )

Am loving this thread.

Me - not bothered about:

Mud. A few weeks ago, DD1 fell in a huge muddy puddle on the way home from school. Serious mud from head to foot. Friend's mum looks totally aghast: "oh xx, how are we going to get you home?!" Er - she's going to walk, just the same as normal.

And I let her jump in puddles. Sometimes wearing her school shoes.

Can't get steamed up about felt pen on the face, but it does annoy me on the walls.

They are allowed to climb on stuff. It's good for their motor skills, balance and self-confidence. And I love the look on other mummies' faces when my 20mo is on the very top of the climbing frame .

Licking the bowl - I'm so glad to find I'm not the only one dicing with salmonella.

And DD2 has tasted espresso. And she loves it

As long as my kids don't become religious or vote for a tony blairalike I'll be ok.

I give my son a dessert spoonful of syrup to lick when we make flapjacks because my mum used to do that with me when I was a kid. I make him clean his teeth afterwards, though (honest I do, Mr Dentist).

Relieved that no-one says they don't bother about car safety.

MI you know that despite your protests you are deeply souciant about food, organic, fair trade etc, you pinko leftie you.

My big things I do care about like a mad loon are aspartame and trans fats. Also providing reasonably wholesome food for the children on a relatively regular basis. I iron too, but I don't condemn those who don't.
Amazed at how many people are shocked at your children jumping in puddles. Isn't that what children do? Mine do anyway. They don't draw on walls tho (I imagine this is low on your list of things to worry about gess).

Note co-ordinating outfits is something a lot of people don't care about. that this could ever be an issue.
Tho I do get annoyed that none of DD's clothes seem to go together anyway so she's got no chance.

No doubt because they are hand me downs from a wide assorment of sources